I Am Loved

Love is the lamp that lights the universe: without that light the earth is a barren promontory and man the quintessence of Dust. 
                                                              - Mary Elizabeth Braddon

Knowing you are loved makes like easier to handle. Childcare, car repairs, finishing your reports – its all easier when we know we are loved. We don’t feel as alone in a crowd if we know we are loved.

If you are a single parent, such as myself, its very easy to forget that you are loved. You may not have a partner in the adventure of life but there are so many other people who can remind you that you are loved. Loved by your parents, family, and friends, even when they don’t say it or show it.

Jakes and I have been in serious crisis for quite sometime now and it recently escalated. I have been very depressed, embarrassed, and frustrated by everything in my life. And feeling very unloved. I just wanted to crawl into bed and stay there for a very long time. I still feel that way, but not as badly.

I know that I am loved. Yesterday, Kimber reminded me how much she loves me. She called my local spa and ordered a massage for me. I’m going on Saturday. As I take a few minutes and look back over the last week, I now see loads of expressions of love toward me. From the comments on my blog posts to keep my head up to the massages waiting for me! I am extremely grateful to everyone’s kindness.

Kimber and Neicy top my list right now, Kimber for the massage, Neicy for helping her get the info to call! Both of you have also reminded me day in and day out that I am not a bad mother. Just a mother with a special needs child and a limited professional support system. I’m getting that support system now!

My Parents for just being there and offering their quiet support. Knowing that you are there when I need you is comforting.

HS in AZ for telling me that he admires at how I am dealing with all the crap I am dealing with. Just have some margaritas ready in May!  ;)

Annabelle from Don’t Make It Like I’m Dumb for just listening and pestering me. I appreciate it. I LOVE your colorful descriptions of A/H! Keep ‘em coming! And we need to get together for coffee and pie!

To Brian at WaysidestationOne for always commenting and offering positive thoughts. I appreciate them more than words can say! And you’d be my first pick for a therapist if logistically possible!

Even in the darkest of times, you have to remember that you are loved and the darkness will fade, even a little bit. Wherever we look, someone will find the day easier if he remembers he’s loved.

Hawaii

I wanted to share this info with my friends here.  I am hoping I can liberate the money necessary to go here this year.

Its a fabulous price that includes airfare AND hotel!

There are only prices for a couple of airports but if you call the travel agents, they can help you find one that is close to you!

If you decide to go, let me know so we can meet up over there!

Sunday Check In

Just a quick note that I am still here and sane.  I had planned to give more details on what is going on but I am just too raw right now.  In time.

For now, I am ok.

In hiding

I am going to be taking a break from blogging and reading your wonderful words.  There are some very important and scary things going on in my life at the moment.  I just don't think I have it in me to blog.

I hope to be back soon but until I have a plan in place, I can't say when.

What an Experience!

Yesterday, for my birthday, I sang the National Anthem at the Phillies game.  What an experience!  What STRESS!

ESM and I left the house with what we thought was plenty of time to get there.  We only live 40 minutes from the stadium.  Who knew the Flyers were playing at the SAME TIME??  Janet did!  :)  Who knew the traffic would be HORRENDOUS?  Anyone who has been to a game in say the last year or so!  I can't tell you the last time I've been to a Phillies game.

Anyway, after sitting in traffic for way too long, ESM and I ran all over the stadium trying to find someone who could get us out on the field.  Finally, at 1:31, I was lead onto the field, over the Astro's dugout.  COOL!

By 1:37 we were done singing and heading back underground.  WOW!  Looking around at about 40,000 standing with their hats off for US to sing!  AMAZING!  Would I do it again?  HELLS YES!  But I will be leaving my house at 5 am to get there! 

Here's the video:

I'm in the front row to the left......

Its My Birthday!

Its my birthday

and I'm going to spend it



Singing at the



Game which starts 1:35 pm Eastern Time

Check out PHL17 if you're in the Philly area!  Hopefuly, you'll see me getting hugs from

Love him!



My Adventures with the Police (Almost)

The other day I had to travel to another county for two meetings.  I don't like to go to meetings but they are a necessary evil to my job.  This time I was grateful that both meetings happened to be scheduled on the same day.  While I was traveling around, I had several run-ins with the police. 

It was a giggle day!

So on the way to the meeting, I followed Pinkie, my GPS.  She got me there nicely but of course, she can't tell me where the parking lots are.  I went around the block cause it was all one way streets. 

I pulled into a parking lot but then saw a sign that I was in the wrong lot and I could be towed.  The parking lot I needed to be in was about 50 yards behind me on the wrong way of the one way street. 

hmmmmmmm   

Can I sneak from this lot over to the one that I need without incident?  I'm going to chance it.  And I did.

When I got out of the car and looked around the neighborhood, I saw the Police Station was right across the street from the parking area.  Good Job, Ames!   Going the wrong way on a one way street in front of the police station. 

Giggle!

My next run-in with the police was on my way to my second meeting.  I was in a city (as opposed to the country roads I drive every day) and there were traffic lights every block or so and once you catch one red, you catch ALL of them red.  I caught the first one red.  sigh.......

At the same time I was slogging my way through the lights, I was texting with Neicy.  Every red light, I would send a text.  Green light, put the phone down and drive. 

Lather, Rinse, Repeat. 

Until I got to one light with a left hand turn lane.  I'm sitting there waiting for the light and typing out a text.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see another car pull beside me.  It was white.  I looked up and there was a cop car sitting there waiting for the light.  In the car was an officer glaring at me for texting.  ooops!

I smiled and gave a little wave. 

And put the phone down.  Then the light changed and me and the officer went our own ways.  At the next light, I texted the incident to Neicy!    

Giggle!

I am thinking that maybe I have used all my "lives" with police.  I'm going to be paying close attention to stuff around me and the speed limits for a while!  Giggle!



NOTE:  this was a REAL adventure, not april fools!