Friday Rambling

Daddy got good news from his heart Dr. He passed his stress test and can have the aneurysm fixed via a stent procedure.  He has an appointment with another specialist on Tuesday.  Fingers crossed that its in a place that can be reached by stent procedure.

Going to the beach tomorrow.  My wonderful friend, Janet, is hubby and kid-less tomorrow (which doesn't happen often) suggested that we go and just relax.  Love that idea and I'm SO there!  I just hope it's not too crowded and we can have a water view.

Jakes is upset with me because I'm not going to get him for dinner tonight.  I just don't feel like fighting the holiday/Friday traffic.  And considering the last time he left the house, he was so angry with me that he didn't even say good-bye before he slammed out of the house, I'm not very inclined to go.

I've found curtains for the kitchen and the sliding doors which is good and bad.  Good that I am making headway on decorating the house, bad because it means I have to paint the kitchen.  I'm so over painting!    Maybe AZ will prep the walls for me while I'm at the beach, then I can get right to painting.  And it depends on how I feel after relaxing at the beach.

Things with JR are more annoying to me than I thought they would.  He "borrowed" my bike without permission and returned it broken.  He also doesn't know how it happened.  Nice.  But his father has said he will be paying me back for the cost to fix it.  I took the bike to the shop yesterday and it will be there for about 2 weeks while they get the part in.  Nice.  Guess Jakes and I won't be riding the Dam for the next couple of weeks.  Boo!

There are other things happening that involve him that are causing problems. I am hoping that AZ and I can work together to make things right, for us and for JR.  Only time will tell.

We've put our camping trip off for now.  Things have come up that is keeping us home for now.  We will definitely get our weekend away.  Hopefully soon, very soon.

I hope everyone enjoys their last weekend of the summer.  Relax!

Who's Hungry? - WW



Reese Cup Cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory
Along with great company, YUM!



The New Neighborhood

I'm a country girl. Always have been and always will be at heart. Growing up, we had a garden, a pool and lots of land around us.  We didn't even have our own police department! 

At the compound there was a river out front and a marsh out back; houses on either side. We knew all the neighbors and they knew us. They usually knew our news before we did.  A close knit place.

AZ and I decided to move, get OUR place and start our life together.  We moved to what I consider "City."  It is considered a city within the county but its not a city like Philly or NYC.  We are surrounded by houses; in front, behind, side to side.  That's different for me.  There are streets with stop signs.  We are 5 minutes from most stores.  I can run for eggs in 10 minutes flat!

Our House
Jaxon LOVES the bay window

We haven't met our neighbors yet, just a wave here and there.  On either side of us live police officers.  That can come in handy with two teenage boys!  HA

We are about a half a block from the River still.  Jax and I love walking up there to check things out.  There's lots of new things for him to sniff.

The view.  We are closer to the Bridge leading out of the state

The View looking toward the Compound.
Can't see it but its that way.

I am adjusting to living in the city. I do like the closeness of the stores and especially Redbox!

My Kid Takes Me to the Best Places......

Jakes wanted to take me to a new place for a bike ride.  He said I would love it.  Its so pretty and the trail would be ok for my bike, maybe a little bumpy but not bad.

The weather was perfect. I loaded the bikes up, left the house early to miss traffic on a Friday evening and picked up Jakes. 

He gave directions for each and every turn we had to take.  He was right, it was a very pretty drive there, once we left the interstate.  Right along the Susquehanna River, through Port Deposit, Maryland and to the Conowingo Dam.



Here's the Dam.
I'm told that last August, after Hurricane Irene, where I'm standing was under 35 ft. of water!

Jakes and I unloaded the bikes and I realized that I should have brought my camera.  I did have my iPhone camera but that just doesn't cut it.


The trail ran over an old rail line that was used to deliver supplies and workers to build the Dam

The trail was probably about 2 miles long, one way.  We rode through the trees, catching glimpses of the river as we went.  Jakes was in the lead.  He abruptly stopped because of a deer in the path.  So cool!  And the deer didn't go far off the path away from us. Guess they are used to seeing people.



taking a break

At the end of the trail we took a break and wandered around a bit.  Would have drank some water but I left it in the car.  DUH.



The Boat Launch

We mounted back up and rode back.  In the parking area, we watched the river flow around rocks and fishermen.  We also watched an eagle soar.  There are many nests in the area.  I can't wait to take my kid back there for more riding and with my camera!


Meet Pumpkin

This is Jakes favorite horse at the farm.  This is Pumpkin.  Every chance Jakes gets, he's riding Pumpkin either with saddle or bareback.  Pumpkin is most gentlest of horses.  He moves smoothly and will stop when he feels his rider is uneasy or off balance.  Jakes really has to work to get him into a trot.  And since Jakes is not comfortable trotting, this makes Pumpkin the perfect pair for Jakes.

Jakes LOVES Pumpkin

On the Saturdays, I drop Jakes off at the farm for a few hours.  He does his lesson, then helps out with tacking up the other horses, cleaning stalls, and grooming horses.  Whatever Ms. Jill or Ms BobbieJo ask, Jakes does.  And he's also there to help the other people who are there for lessons or the other helpers. 

Jakes has friends there.  I think that's the only place he goes that we can say he has friends.  And these friends aren't all adults or other special needs kids, but normal, unclassified kids who consider Jakes a friend. 

I love that! 

I love the farm and Ms. Jill and the wonderful atmosphere she has created there.  She is truly a wonderful person and probably the second best thing to happen to Jakes within the realm of Autism and special needs.  The first being the Autism Center that connected us to Ms. Jill and her farm.

A couple weeks ago, I arrived to pick Jakes up and Ms. Jill told me a story about Jakes when he was on a trail ride that day.  She said he was amazing and the other kids agreed with her.  There were 3 or 4 kids riding various sized horses, with Jakes being on Pumpkin.  Someone was on Hershey, who is the biggest horse on the farm.  Hershey pulled a little ahead of Pumpkin and for some reason, Pumpkin decided that he didn't want Hershey in the lead so he matched his gait to Hershey's. 

Before Jakes knew what was going on, Pumpkin and Hershey were in a cantor.  Then Pumpkin switched gears to a gallop!  All Jakes could do was hang on and yell HO!  But Pumpkin thought Jakes was yelling GO!  So he did just that.  GO. GO. GO.

They finally came to the corner of the field where Ms. Jill was watching and Pumpkin came to an abrupt stop.  Had he not lifted his head, Jakes would have tumbled right on over! 

Ms. Jill said she was terrified when Pumpkin took off. But there was nothing she could do but say a quick prayer for Jakes protection.  And Pumpkin did just that by putting his head up to keep Jakes from flying over.

Ms. Jill tells of Jakes facial expression as being one of shocked disbelief.  She was amazed that he didn't get upset enough to cry, which I think I would have!  Jakes scrambled off Pumpkin and they headed back to the waiting area with Jakes walking.  Jakes did get back on Pumpkin that day and they have gotten along wonderfully since then.

Tuesday Tidbits

I've been absent lately.  Summer is coming to an end for Jakes and I wanted to get as much Jakes-time in as possible.  I've had him for the last 3 weekends in a row.  That makes for busy weekends and catching up on things during the week. 

Jakes starts school tomorrow!  So exciting!  The beginning of his 8th grade year!  He's not so very excited.

My parents came over for dinner on Sunday and it was very lovely.  They have missed Jakes and Jaxon.  Jaxon was so excited that they came to his new house to visit and play with him.  There was lots of butt wiggling from Jaxon when they arrived.

There is nothing better than fresh bread.  I have a bread maker now and LOVE it! We've had fresh homemade bread two nights in a row.  YUM!  Along with homemade lasagna and fresh salad, the perfect dinner!

Dad got the results of his ultrasound of his heart and its not good news.  There is an aneurysm and its over 5 cm. Its been there since 2008 and its grown since then.  Until Dad sees the heart dr, we don't know what is to be done about it.  There is a possibility that they will be able to put a stent in and fix everything.  That would be the easiest and safest.  His heart dr is on vacation this week so we won't know anything more until next week at the earliest.  sigh.

I also might learn to spell aneurysm! 

AZ went camping this weekend with JR.  It was a nice weekend with just me and Jakes.  And AZ enjoyed his time with JR.  The next camping trip will be just me and AZ.  No kids, no dog.

The boxes are getting unpacked and I'm working on decorating.  I love shopping!  As I get the rooms done, I'll share pictures.

August is transition month for Scentsy!  Most everything is 10% off.  Check out my website and stock up on items and scents that are being discontinued!   https://amylk103.scentsy.us/Scentsy/Home

That's all for now.  See ya tomorrow!

I'll be back

But it won't be today.  Maybe tomorrow.

Favorite Spot - WW



I spent last Thursday here.
HEAVEN!



Its Over

Vacation is OVER.  It was pretty relaxing.  AZ, Jakes and I pretty much just hung around the house.  There were silly water fights, grass cutting, beach days and Wii bowling with the GParents.

We also hit the county fair for one day.  Jakes hung out at the tractor pulls until the sled broke.  He was so upset!  But I was ready to go home.

So I'm back to work, digging out and following up on e-mails from last week.

We All Like A Quickie

Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts for Daddy.  Since he doesn't go for his ultrasound until Monday morning, I am assuming its not a life threatening situation.  I have to assume if it was, he'd be in hospital strapped to a bed.

I fully know that its irrational for me to feel guilty for having moved away.  And its not like I'm across the country, just the next town over and we would still go to the same hospital so I could be there likity splitity.  Actually, he would probably be taken to the hospital in Delaware and I am closer to DE so I would probably beat him and the ambulance there!

I know that I am allowed to live my life, that its normal for me to live away from my parents.  Its just going to take getting used to.  I mean for 4 years, I was right there in all the business.  Its only been three weeks since we moved out.  Its an adjustment for all of us.

So, while I will try not to worry about daddy until the results are in there's not much chance that I won't.  I've also forbidden myself to talk to Dr. Google about it.  Let's hope I can keep to it!

Tomorrow is BEACH day!  Woo ho!  No iPad, just my eReader and several good books.  And of course great company, Janet and crew!

worries

Vacation is not a time to worry about things, its a time to relax and enjoy the time off.  Spend it with special wonderful family and friends.  And I was doing just that, sleeping until 10 am, bike riding with friends, spending a little time with Jakes.  Enjoying my time with AZ.

But then comes that text message with an update on Daddy and the worries start.  For my new followers, Daddy is in congestive heart failure and has been for about 2 years.  He also has two leaking valves in his heart. Because of past cancers, smoking and alcohol use, he doesn't qualify for a heart transplant which is really what he needs.

Dad has been fairly stable of late.  Taking his meds as prescribed and following up with the dr as required. And being careful how much he does, recognizing when his body says to stop.

They recently did an MRI of his heart and found what they think is an aortic aneurysm.  Unfortunately, this is all I/we know about the situation.  They are going to do an ultrasound ASAP to determine better what's going on in there.  We don't know anything else. 

I am scared.  And guilty.  I just moved away from him and started my own life again and now he's sicker.

ESM said not to worry too much until we know more but I can't help it.  Its in my DNA to worry.  So for now, I'm trying not to worry and am saying extra prayers that he'll be ok.

can you ever have too much?

vacation, that is.  Yes, I am on another vacation.  We're not going anywhere that I know of.  We'll probably spend a day at the shore.

this week is the county fair that jakes loves.  there are 2 nights of tractor pulls and ESM and the horse farm both have booths and want him to hang out with them so we'll spend time at the fair.  YAY!

And I'm glad the temps have gone down a bit, it will make hanging at the fair easier.


So hope everyone has a wonderful week!  I'll be around in spurts.

Jumpin on the Booby Band Wagon

I've seen the news stories on the mayor of NYC mandating that hospitals lock up the formula and encourage new mothers to breast feed exclusively.  This bothers me because it feels as though my choice of how I want to feed my child is being taken from me. Isn't the United States the "free country" where we are allowed to make what we feel are the right choices for ourselves and our families?  Does the government REALLY have the right to step in and dictate to me what is best for me and my child?

This smacks of the government saying I don't know what is best for my family.  They are going to step in and tell me I am a bad mother before I even have a chance to bring the child home.  What a blow to my self-esteem!

I remember when I was pregnant with Jakes and my Drs office went over everything I would need to know during the pregnancy and even chatted a bit about what to expect after delivery.  When I went in to have Jakes it was with the expectation that I would have an epidural so as not to feel any pain and then to pop my new infant right onto my breast when he was cleaned up. 

What a dream world did I live in?  Yes, I had my rose colored glasses on!

After burying my mother, I arrived at the hospital during a full moon which lead to a very busy delivery center.  I was in full labor and ready for my drugs.  But they were so busy, they couldn't get to me just yet.  Hang in there they said, it won't be long before the drugs and you have a long way to go yet.

I was scared, sad, depressed, excited and happy all at once during Jakes delivery. It had already been a long couple of stressful days, with a long stressful month leading up to this day.  I couldn't wait to meet my son!  I wanted my mom to be there to meet my son.  I wanted DRUGS!!!

After they got me settled in a delivery room things progressed much more quickly than they expected. There was no time for drugs, no time for anything but listening to my body and working with it to bring my son into the world.  And all I wanted was drugs and my mommy.  I got neither.

Once Jakes was in my arms, I presented him to my breast for our first bonding session.  This did not go well.  I was tired, exhausted, sad, depressed and excited all at the same time.  How is it possible to feel so many emotions all at the same time?

Jakes wouldn't latch on, he just wanted to sleep.  me too, kiddo, me too!  So I asked the nurse to take him to the nursey so that I could sleep.  She looked at me like I was emotionally derranged.  All I wanted to say was "if you knew what I did today, you'd do it too! so don't judge me."

I continued to try to get Jakes to latch on, even once we were at home, he wanted nothing to do with me.  He did take the bottle very nicely and the formula agreed with him.  He was not an overweight baby, ever.  In fact, he was always so small the Drs worried that he wasn't eating enough.  Other than that, he was a healthy and happy baby who met his milestones on time. 

I am afraid that other new mothers will be made to feel as though they are less than a good mother because they choose to bottle or breast feed.  Everyone should be able to choose how they feed their child and they should be able to make that choice without being made to feel badly about their choice.  But they should be educated about all their options.

If the hospitals and their staff are going to educate new mothers on the benefits of breast feeding, I think they should also be educated on the benefits of formula for their babies.  I don't think the hospitals and their staff members should be allowed to show a preference for either feeding method. I think the only ones allowed to show a preference for a feeding method should be the mother and possibly the father of the baby.  It should be an educated choice for the family.

But the government should NOT be allowed to dictate to ME about doing what I think is best for myself, my child and my family.

Happy Birthday, Mommy - WW

Happy Birthday Mommy! 
Love and miss you!