Disrespectful

Respect is earned but there are instances when respect is given. Period, no questions asked. Rules are made to be followed no matter who is around to enforce them. This is what I believe and what I'd like to see happen at my house.  This is what I would expect from my child. An adult in the house gets respect period. 

AZ and a buddy packed up right after the holiday for a hunting trip to upstate NY. Because JRs mom is in trouble with the law again, JR stayed home. AZ said he'd be in touch with JR often while he was away.

I don't know how often AZ has been in touch with JR but I haven't heard from AZ much. That's OK. You need quiet and no ringing cell phone to bring home deer meat.

This time with JR has been annoying. He has never been disrespectful to me directly but his total disregard for the rules of the house has erked me to no end.

He has operated on his own schedule; has not informed me of any of his plans and has made a mess of the kitchen at all hours of the day and night.

He brought his girlfriend into his bedroom and shut the door. With me and Jakes in the living room watching TV. That is a big rule broken.

He decided that he didn't feel like going to school yesterday so he didn't.

But because AZ wants to be his "friend" and not the enemy, he let's JR do pretty much whatever he wants. And if I express an opinion or suggest imposing limits for JRs actions I get a shoulder shrug and ignored. I am not allowed to parent JR but then his parents don't do it either.

I have told AZ the bigger infractions by JR but not about the party in the camper on Saturday night, the vodka gummy worms and the vodka kool-aid. That will come when AZ gets home.

I am so disgusted with JRs blatant disregard for the house rules.  I would never ask AZ to choose me over his son and I don't think he would anyway.

I don't hold hope that AZ will change his parenting style.  He takes the least conflicting way out of every situation.

Am I over reacting?  Maybe. But I am very hurt at the way JR took advantage of the situation.  And I've been frustrated and hurt in the past by AZ's inability to discipline and impose reasonable limits for his son.

When AZ gets back, I think we will have to have ANOTHER talk about things.

Its Almost Time

We were walking about the grocery store shopping for Turkey Day and remarking about how annoying the Christmas music was.  Can't we have Thanksgiving without it being over run by Christmas?

A couple of days later, I was in the car and flipping through radio stations.  So many were playing Christmas music and again we were a little annoyed by it.  I'm not ready for Christmas music every where I go.

I think its funny that I've been annoyed by the Christmas music surrounding me when I've been practicing Christmas music for the choir concert in December.  I've been singing Christmas music since September!  What right do I have to be annoyed by Christmas music in stores in November?

We practiced on stage this last week and Boy, Do We Sound GOOD!  And we are having FUN with the songs.  This is such a wonderful group of people who get together to share their love of music and their talents.  I am still blown away by the talent in this group.  I definitely made a wonderful decision to join them.



Practicing on stage.
Can you find me?
I'm there!

We have one more practice then we do it For Real.  I can't wait to see the theater full of community members coming to enjoy our sounds.  ESM will be at one of the concerts so I'll get some good pictures and maybe even some sounds to share with you.

Turkey Day - WW

Oscar came over for Turkey Dinner.

AZ had to tease both dogs while he was carving the turkey.

It was a good day!

Monday Check in

Hi!  Did you miss me?  I've missed you guys!  I haven't been around at all. 

Its grant writing time at work which limits my time to post and read my blogs.  By the time I get home, my eyes are so tired and sick of reading, that I don't even want to read my books.  My library books are piling up and some I've had to return without even cracking.  Boo ho!

I can be found on Twitter @amylk103 if you want to connect.

Things are good with my life and I'll catch up with y'all soon!

I Voted!

I voted yesterday in my new town.  Its was weird!  I mean, all my voting life, I've done it in my hometown where everyone knows everyone.  The poll workers know my parents, knew my mom and one was even my teacher in elementary school. I would go the the polling place and spend 20 minutes catching up with everyone before and after voting.

Yesterday, I went to the new place and was lost.  I followed the signs to my district and gave my name.  There was no problem voting, it was just weird.  I knew NO ONE there.  And there were lots more people there than in my old polling place.  But I was still in and out of there in less time than my old place. 

Yesterday was another reminder that I have grown up and left the nest.

Foolish Teenagers

I hate Teenagers.  Especially mine right now. I thought that when I gave him to his father full time that I would get the be the Disney Mom.  You know, the parent who gets to do the fun stuff and get all the credit for being the cool parent.  That's apparently not how it works when you have a teenager.

I didn't go get him for a Friday dinner visit.  I gave him notice that I was sick and couldn't drive.  Being dizzy and driving is not safe for me or the people on the road around me.  AZ offered to drive me over to see Jakes but by then Jakes was having a temper tantrum and told us not to come.  So I listened.  I couldn't have my head off the pillow without puking anyway.

Now, Jakes won't come and see me because I blew him off that one day.  Its only for a couple of hours.  I drive 45 minutes each way to take him out to dinner.  We usually spend dinner arguing over things and me feeling like he is trying to dominate me. 

Today I tried to make amends with him.  He has no empathy for the fact that I was sick.  He has empathy for his Gpop for being sick, but not for mom. Never for Mom.

Some of the things he is saying to me are definitely coming from his father and his hatred of me.  This should not be happening.  I tried (sometimes successfully) not to bash JF in front of Jakes.  I always encouraged Jakes to get over his anger at his father and things that happened at his house.  I know that Jakes having a good relationship with both his parents is what is best for Jakes.

At this point, Jakes is mad at me and refusing to come and see me. He's not even swayed with working at the horse farm.  Yes, I see that he is cutting his nose off despite his face but I don't know what else I can do.  I was ready to go and get him that Friday but he said no.  I've apologized for being sick.  I've tried to just ignore his attitude toward me and joke and talk with him but all I get is snide remarks back.  I'm sick and tired of being abused by my teenager.  I'm ready to give up.

And then my heart breaks.  And I go back for more.  I miss my little boy who would snuggle in my lap watching Thomas the Tank Engine.