Its Sunday!

Hi friends!  The weekend is over, we are all dug out from the snow, met our puppy and survived the birthday party!  I have a couple of book reviews that I have to post this week and I really need to finish reading the books! oops!  Anyway.........

Son had ALL GIRLS at the party.  His little harem.  And he had a great time.  That's all that matters.

Dad behaved himself and instructed others in the operation of the snowblower and even went back inside after Mr. Len had the hang of it.  He also called to have Son help carry the grocery bags upstairs today!  My Dad can be a blockhead and will insist that he can do this stuff.  It seems he is realizing that he can't right now.  GOOD.

Son and I met the puppy today.  We still don't have a name that we agree on and probably won't until he comes home at the end of February.  Son is whining already that he wants to go and see the puppy again.    Oh boy.  This is what I am going to have to listen to for the next month.

Son and Puppy

I feel like I have missed some blogs this week because I have been so busy with things.  And when I did stop over to read, I couldn't concentrate to finish the blog.  Serious ADD.  Sorry!  I will try and get better this week.  Life should be quieter this week.  Might even be able to read a few at work! ;)

Ok, I'm off to read!  And then to chase the kid to the shower and bed!  Hope everyone's weekend and Monday is awesome!

Conversation with my kid and Dad update!

Thank you SO much for your thoughts, prayers and good wishes for my Dad and all of us.  I have really appreciated every single one! 

Dad says he's fine today.  He started all his new meds today and stopped drinking as of yesterday.  I hope that he cuts down on the smoking but I'm not holding my breath (other than when I am at his house or in the car with him!)  The Dr said his heart is very weak.  He is in heart failure and has 2 leaky valves, the mitral and aortic.  At this time, because the heart is so weak, he is not a candidate for surgery to fix the valves.  The Dr is hoping that by stopping his drinking and "optimizing his medications" that the heart muscle will be able to heal itself and become stronger.  Dad follows up with the local cardiologist, who will be in touch with the guy who did the procedure yesterday.  In about a month, Dad will go for another test to look at his heart again and decide what is to be done, if anything.  So life returns to normal for now, I guess.

This week was a LONG one for me!  There was a lot happening, Son's Birthday was a big deal.  We all went to Applebee's for dinner.  (YUCK but that's where Son wanted to go)  Conversation with Son deciding where to go:

Son:  Can we go to Rushes?  (its a local place with really good food and really good price tag!)

me:  No.  Its too expensive and they won't have the pasta bar tonight.  That's only on Tuesdays.

Son: Oh.  How about Joe's Crab Shack?  No.  Grandpop won't want to go to Wilmington.

me: Nope.  I don't want to go there either.

Son:  APPLEBEE's!  I want to go to Applebee's!

Me:  Are you sure?  Don't you want to go somewhere that has good food?

Son:  No.  I want to go to Applebee's cause they sing to everyone on their birthday.

Me: Ok.  Can't argue with that.  YOU tell Grandpop.

Here are pictures from the evening:

Birthday hugs for me and Son

Grandmom and Son

Grandpop and Son

Son was avoiding Grandpop all day because Grandpop was trying to get birthday spankings in.

It was a lovely evening with singing.  Son went into the place broadcasting to everyone that it was his birthday and he wanted singing.  So funny!  And our waitress did a great job of grabbing every other server in the place to sing for him.  Son was THRILLED!

Happy Friday everyone and head over to Lee's place.  She is hosting the linky for Friday Conversations with your kids!

OH!  Does anyone know how to get permanent magic marker of a laptop screen?  Don't ask!  :)

Dad Results

I am still at the hospital waiting for them to release dad.  Just wanted to post a quick update for everyone.

Dad is still in heart failure.  Dad has 2 leaky valves, the mitral and the aortic.  Until / if the heart muscle gets stronger then they will address the valves.

I typed what the Dr said while he was talking with us so I have more detailts but we have to get back to him.  We left for lunch since he was having lunch.

More later!  Thank you to everyone for your good thoughts and prayers!

Amy

Happy Birthday, Son

It seems like yesterday that You came into my life.

You continue to make my life so much better.

I love you more than I can ever express in words.

Really! 

Even when I yell at you.

But especially when you are snuggled up with me or Bear.

We did GOOD the first 10 years.

We'll do GREAT for the next!

I love you!

Dad's testing

Dad goes at on Thursday at SIX IN THE MORNING for his Cardiac Cath.  Since the hospital is about 45 minutes away, they will be leaving at 5.  Dad likes to be early for his appointments.

I will be going over once I put Son on the bus.  My wonderful friend and neighbor, Denise asked me what time I was dropping Son off that morning so she could put our boys on the bus.  Now I know what a scarific this would be for her since she is not a morning person.  Love you Denise! 

But, I would have to get Son up at like 4 in the morning and I just don't see good things coming from that.  Not only would that be a HUGE change in schedule for him but that would make him extremely tired and that is not good for him. Or his teachers at school.

Son will be getting off the bus at your house though so don't forget to send a note!

So.  Dad and Stepmom and our other neighbor, Kathy will be going to the hospital early.  I will be following later in the morning.  I figure I should get there just in time for the Dr to come out and tell us what the plan is.

Imaginary Conversations with Real People

Have you ever had imaginary conversations with real people? I do it all the time. 

I talk with friends and family about all kinds of things, should I get my hair cut, how can I tell this person how much I really like them.  I change the person depending on what I am talking about.  Say I'm frustrated with Son's Aspergers, so I pull in his old therapist for a pep talk and a reminder of the skills needed. The person varies depending on my mood and needs.

The People In My Head are always SO supportive.  Because of course, it is my brain and the only negative person allowed in there is me.

And I am the one who is afraid of whatever we are discussing.  I am afraid to get my hair cut, I am afraid to put myself out there to that person, I have no patience for Son's behaviors that he cannot control.  I am just a big fraidy cat!  But I know this and that's why I have such wonderful People In My Head.

Thank you, People In My Head.  Some day I will be brave enough to make a decision on my own.  Until then, I will be talking with you a lot!

January 24, 1999

I love you, Mommy!

Kathleen

8/1/1944  -  1/24/1999

I miss you everyday. I am grateful that you are at peace and watching over us from Heaven and some times through Jacob.  I look in his eyes and see you staring back at me.  A little freaky and a lot comforting at the same time.  Thank you Mommy!

P.S. here is a link to a post I did about my mom and the birth of Son.  See Mom died on the 24th and Son was born on the 27th.  We left the graveside services to go to the hospital.  Anyway, go read if you have time for a long post! 

Happy Friday & Dad Update

HAPPY FRIDAY!  And its a Kid-less weekend!  Woo ho.  Yes, I probably shouldn't be so happy that Son is spending the weekend with his father but I am.  It doesn't matter that on Sunday, Son will come home so tired he won't remember how to apply his skills and will argue with me over EVERY LITTLE THING.  Or that Monday and/or possibly Tuesday morning will be HORRID getting ready for school.  I am still happy to have a kid-less weekend.  Its MY time to recharge and MY chance to have a little bit of freedom that I don't get usually.  I'm still trying to line up some trouble to get into this weekend so if you have any suggestions, please share!

DAD UPDATE:  To get caught up check this out and come back.......... Ok.  Now that everyone's on the same page, Dad had the stress test done and got some good news and some bad news.  When he called me, he asked which I wanted first.  I said "since you are not tied to a hospital bed, it can't be THAT bad of news to hit me with it!"  At least he laughed.

Dad and Son when Son was about 7 months old.

Anyway, the Dr doesn't think he is in CHF which is good cause that is a permanent condition controlled by meds and clean living.  That's the good news.  Bad news:  Dr thinks Dad's problem is caused my a leaking mitral valve in his heart.  CRAP.  But it is fixable.  But may require open heart surgery.  If it can't be repaired, it can be replaced.  So, Dad goes next week for a cardiac cath to see what's going on inside and for the Drs to decide what to do with him.

Thank you for all your prayers, good thoughts and support.  Please keep them coming!

Happy Friday!

Theme Thursday - BREAD

I am in LOVE with Amish Friendship Bread.  My scale can attest to that.  lol

You take one of these:

Give it some love and food for a few days.

Put it in a bowl, separate out some starters for friends, mix with love

Add some of this stuff:

Yes, I shop at Acme! 

Bake for a while

And you get THIS heavenly creation!

Go visit other Theme Thursday participants! See what other yummy breads are baking.

My Daddy

A little background on my Daddy. I have always been his Babydoll, Daddy's Spoiled Little Girl. Before my mom died, I loved my dad but he was just my dad. My mom was my friend and confidant. After Mom died, I had a chance to KNOW my Daddy. Of course, right after Mom died, I had a newborn to care for. A newborn who I believe saved my Daddy from following my Mom.

For the first two years of Son's life, we had dinner on Wednesdays with Grandpop. At each dinner, Grandpop would have this Awesome PROUD look on his face when he watched Son. He also took LOADS of pictures of Son. I have over 2500 pictures JUST from Grandpop from those weekly dinners.

During these dinners and through daily phone calls with my dad, I got to know him, I mean REALLY know my dad. I heard stories about his childhood, new stories about MY childhood, stories about his day at work. I grew to love my dad as a person and not just my dad.

After Son was born, Dad was the second person other than me and Son's father to see Son. Dad was a mess after just loosing Mom. But I could see that he loved Son. Dad was the first person to hold Son at home. Dad promised that as soon as Son was potty trained, he would babysit for me. I heard "As soon as Son is Potty Trained, I will babysit anytime you want!" Dad says that's not quite what he said. :)

Dad and Son have a special relationship. While there are many other grandkids, Son is still number one with Grandpop. For birthdays and Christmas, Dad goes out and gets a special present for Son. (the train set this year was from Grandpop) Son goes to Grandpops house after school until I get home (luckily just upstairs from our house!)

My Dad has had a knee replaced and has beat 2 types of cancer. He's a fighter.

After Christmas, Dad announced that he wasn't feeling so good. His feet and legs were swollen and he was tired. He would sit down and fall asleep, in a wink! We all urged him to go to the hospital but being the stubborn MAN he is, he refused. He did follow up with his regular doctor who ordered lots of tests and finally came up with a diagnosis of Congestive Heart Failure. CRAP.

Ok. Deep Breath. My grandmother (Dad's Mom) had it for many, many years and seemed to be fine. It doesn't have to be a death sentence.

Dad followed up with a cardiologist this week, who ordered MORE tests. REALLY? there are more tests you can do? OKAY. Did I mention that my dad smokes like a chimney in the middle of a blizzard? For about 50 years? Lovely.

Tomorrow he goes for a stress test and next Wednesday back to the cardiologist to get a plan in place. My step mother is scared Silly about all this. I guess I'm a little scared too. I'm not ready loose my friend, my Daddy. I'm not ready to have Son loose his favorite grandpop. Love you Daddy!

Prayers and fingers crossed for tomorrows test will be greatly appreciated.

A nutty update

Jut a little update on how I am feeling lately. I have been applying some of my coping skills: getting some exercise, meditation, I have only had caffeine ONE day, I have been trying to stick to a bedtime schedule and getting out into the sunshine as often as possible.

I am feeling better. Last night I actually slept for 6 hours without waking up at 2 am! Talk about refreshing. I have been walking twice a day with my friend Neicy, killing two birds with one stone (exercise AND sunshine). I have noticed more patience with Son from my better attitude and I was able to concentrate on my reading much better this weekend.

Thank you SO much for your support and tips. I know that I am strong enough to succeed and I am not afraid to ask for professional help. I also am not afraid to take meds if necessary. When I was in therapy before, I was on meds and told my therapist that I wanted to get better enough to cope with life without meds. I worked hard with her to learn my coping skills to get off the meds. That is one reason it was so important for me to catch this early, so I didn't let my mood get bad enough to need meds.

So, I know that I still need to concentrate on applying my skills to continue to improve my mood. But after just one week, I am feeling better. So for the next week, I will continue with what I have been doing and know that I will continue to improve.

On another nutty note: I am still planning to go swimming in the Atlantic Ocean on Super Bowl Sunday with Son and Neicy! We are still asking for donations to benefit the Special Olympics of Delaware! Leave me a comment if you are interested in donating.

Weekend Recap

I considered playing with Random Thought Tuesday today but since my thoughts are fairly organized, I will bore you with a recap of my weekend! But that doesn't mean you have to miss out on the Randomness! Go see the Un Mom!

Son and I had a 4-day weekend. For some reason, his school was off on Friday, something about an in-service day. me? I think it was a scam to get a 4-day weekend! Whatev. I decided that since my dad has been sick lately (more on that tomorrow after his Drs. appointment) that I would take a day off and not dump the kid on him.

So on Friday, Denise and her boys came over to my house to play! Denise and I both got Sony eReaders for Christmas and we each had books to share. So while the boys played trains or Nerf Guns, we shared our books and chatted. It was a great day!

On Saturday, Son and I did the weekly shopping/laundry/housecleaning thingy. I heard from a friend that he was in town visiting with his family. He said he would try to squeeze a little time for me too. YAY! He did manage to stop over for a quick visit on Saturday. It wasn't long enough for me but he was here to see his family, not me. I have to share.

Sunday, Son and I were bummies. I read pretty much all day, Son played video games and watched TV. We went out to dinner with the family as usual. Later, my friend IM'd me to see if he could come over and watch a movie. So we watched Cloverfield. I had trouble keeping up with who was who and what was going on in the movie. My friend described it as Blair Witch Project Meets Godzilla. Perfect description.

Monday was another bummy day. Son watched the all day marathon of Mythbusters while I read/napped/did absolutely nothing.

See? Boring! lol Anyway, I sit here with less than an hour before I am supposed to be at work and still need to get showered, etc. Gotta run! Tah tah for now!

A conversation with Son

Son apparently thinks I am a Short Order Cook

Me: Son what do you want for breakfast

Son: Ham and Cheese sandwich with Miracle and pickles! And some Chips!

I suppose I should have asked White or Wheat, and do you want that toasted.

It's A BOY!

We are expanding our little family soon and we need your help! In 6 weeks a little guy who looks something like this will be coming to live with us. He was born on January 11th and is a Jack Russell.

Son is of course EXCITED. He keeps asking when the puppy will be coming home.

How can we help, you ask! We cannot think of a good name for him yet. Of course it may have to wait until we actually meet him and see what his personality is. I would like to have your sugggestions of names for him!

My favorite boys name is Son's name and I think it might get a little confusing having 2 kids with the same name in the same house.

Also, since this is the first puppy I will ever have had (I am a cat person!) any tips for potty training would be much appreciated. At this point, I am going to go at it like I did with Son. Have the day care person take care of it! hahahahahaha

I will post pictures as soon as I get them.

Delurking Day

Today is Delurking day! And I am a BIG lurker. I love my google reader cause I can just whip RIGHT through all your wonderful thoughts and stories. But does that make me a good bloggy friend? Probably not. We are here to vent, gather followers and comments. There are many of us that claim we are comment junkies. SO.

Starting today, I have put up a BlogRoll on my sidebar. I will be using that to come and visit your actual blog!

Gasp! YES, YOUR ACTUAL BLOG!

I am through with lurking!

Watch out! Here I COME!

OH! And I hope you will come and see me too!

The Male Factor - Book Review

Many talented women today risk undermining their careers without realizing it, simply because they don’t understand how they are perceived by their male colleagues and customers.

In What Men really Think, best-selling author Shaunti Feldhahn reveals the inner reality behind men’s views — the unspoken expectations that no man would dare to publicly acknowledge, and no woman would learn from an HR department. These revelations include:

• Men’s unwritten ‘rules’ of the workplace
• How men perceive workplace emotion
• What common situations with female colleagues most frustrate men-- and why
• Why revealing clothing can sabotage a woman’s effectiveness
• Why some men think flextime is fine, but equal compensation for it is not

What Men Really Think equips women with the information they need to make informed decisions and compete on a level playing field.

This book gave me some insight into working with a male boss again. From the chapter about emotions in the workplace to the chapter on the little things that drive men crazy, there were many insightful tidbits to help a woman in a male run workplace.

Shaunti put a lot of research and time into the information in the book. And while there was information specifically for the Christian, it could be easily missed throughout the book. There was a chapter on putting it into perspective at the end of the book directed specifically toward the Christian woman.

I enjoyed reading and learning about the male thoughts on emotion in the workplace, how men compartmentalize their thoughts and duties, and how perceptive they can be toward women in the workplace. I hope to apply some of this information in my own position.

You can purchase the book here:
Random House

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

I'm Nuts and Need Therapy!!

There are several reason why I am thinking that I am nuts and need therapy. The first being that I want to SWIM with THIS:

Uh….. ice bergs, Neicy? Do you really think we should be doing this? Maybe we should have our heads checked. In case you missed my Polar Bear post, go here.....    But this is not the only reason I think I need my head checked. 

I have mentioned on here that I am not feeling myself. When I first started feeling down and easily annoyed, I kinda thought maybe its just the winter blues. After all, November and December have the shortest days, the least sunlight. But the more I sit and think about things, the more I realize that I am feeling depression again, not just the winter blues.

I am showing classic signs of depression. How do I know? Cause I’ve been there and beat that. See, when my ex told me he wanted a divorce, I hit bottom. And it wasn’t pretty. I’m not feeling that bad, yet. I have recognized some of my symptoms and can hopefully pull myself back up. If I can’t, then I will find my therapist. She was the best, without her and some of my closest friends, I would not have survived as well as I did.

Ok. What do you have to be depressed about, you ask? I have NO clue. I have a job, which while not my dream job, is at least an easy one with a good paycheck. I have a wonderful son, who is doing SO FREAKING WELL in school not just grades but his behavior has been THE BEST EVER! I have wonderful friends and family who love me and support me in every way. I love them all! I have a home that is cozy, clean and ALL mine.

Yet, I am still sad. Eating like a horse. Sleeping a lot yet in pieces. Annoyed by the littlest things. Tired of being around myself. I can’t concentrate.

I remember the coping skills Kate taught me. I just don’t have the energy to apply them. I need someone to kick me in the butt. I need to get off my ass and take care of myself, mentally, physically and emotionally.

So. Let’s start by reviewing some of the coping skills from Kate.

1. Exercise – releases good feeling hormones and tires you out to help you sleep. Not to mention the calories you will burn.

2. Stick to a sleeping schedule – just cause you are bored, do NOT go to bed before bedtime. Your body gets into a habit and if you go to bed when you are tired, you will sleep longer.

3. Eat when you are hungry, not when you are tired, bored, stressed, angry. This will help with the excessive weight gain.

4. NO Caffeine. This messes with your mood and sleep patterns.

5. Meditation. It relaxes you. It really does! I used to use it frequently.

6. Sunshine.  You need sunshine. 

Starting tomorrow evening, I will exercise for at least 30 minutes every night. My new bedtime will be 10:30. I will try to pay attention to WHEN I am eating and WHY. And although I haven’t had caffeine for several weeks, I will avoid caffeine. I will start my meditation again.  I wil do my best to find sunshine for at least 15 minutes every day.

If my mood doesn’t improve in a week, I will then make an effort to find my therapist again and get professional help. I think I can live with myself for another week.

By live with myself, I don’t mean that I am considering suicide. I am NO where near THAT. Been there before and I am NO WHERE near that depressed.

I just wish I could live outside my head, somewhere that’s nicer. One week of diligently applying the coping skills to see if there is any improvement.

Complaining

Ok.  I had a wonderful idea for a somewhat funny post tonight, including ice bergs and everything.  I just am not up to it right now.  I am so sick of myself and being annoyed at anything and everything.  I don't want to be around myself, let alone subjecting me to other people.

Tomorrow.  I WILL like myself better.  Promise.

Icebergs tomorrow.

sunset

I saw the sunset tonight for the first time in a LONG time.  Usually its already gone for the day when I get done work.  I stood at the window and just watched it drop below the horizon.  It was LOVELY.

Just a small reminder that spring is on its way!  Happy dance!

Beach

I was hoping to take a quick walk on the beach this morning in the snow.  Here is what I found........

Where's the beach?

The River.

This is a Humming Bird that lights up.  Surprisingly, it still lights!

I am not sure how much I will be around.  I just don't feel like blogging.  I just want to crawl into a warm, dark place and hibernate the winter away.  I also have some stuff going on that has me quite worried but need to keep close for now.  I'm pretty depressed, actually.  Once that gets resolved (or spring comes), I will be back and happy!

Polar Bear Plunge

Three years ago, my best friend Neicy was turning 50 and decided she wanted to do something to mark the occasion.  I am a TRUE friend and said "Count me in!  What do you want to do?"  See Neicy and I have been through Hell and back together;  marriage and divorce, births and deaths, good times and bad.  And Hawaii!  Whatever she needs, I am there and vice versa.

Anyway, she decided that we would go swimming.  COOL!  I love swimming!  In the ocean in January.  HUH?  You're kidding me right?  Nope. 

See every year the Special Olympics of Delaware holds their annual Polar Bear Plunge fund raiser.  Special Olympics is an international movement which, through year-round sports training and competition in the Olympic tradition, gives people with intellectual disability the chance to strengthen their character, develop their physical skills, display their talents and fulfill their human potential.

The Polar Bear Plunge, entering its 19th year, has become one of the most popular events in the state of Delaware. The uniqueness of this event, unlike many others, is that it spans all genders, age groups, income levels, and every demographic area of the state, with participation often extending beyond our borders. It truly is a state-wide family and friends’ event!

This is us after our first plunge.  It was great!  We actually swam twice.  Her boyfriend said he didn't get pictures of us in the water.  LIAR!  But we were dumb enough to go back in so he could get pictures.

Here is last years before picture.  The weather was actually pretty warm, 53 and the water was like bath water at 40!

Son has Aspergers Syndrome which would qualify him to participate in the Special Olymics Program so by participating in this Fund Raiser, I am helping children like my Son.

This year, Son is old enough to join us and he is SO excited!  We, of course have to raise money.  If you are interested in donating, send me an email and I will send you the link!

Winter COLD

I wanted to share some pictures I have taken over the past couple of days here in Frozen Jersey.

The wind has whipped the river to a churning, mean mass which would crash on the bulkhead and promptly freeze.

Lunch, Anyone?

This is my parents 2nd story bay window covered in ice!

This is my window covered in ice!

We are grateful that the river finally froze over.  At least the windows will melt off and the house won't shake with the force of the crashing waves

The flag is being held out by the wind, for the past THREE days!

It has finally slowed down to about 10 mph.  Hope everyone else is warm!

Commercials

Tonight Son and I were watching TV.  Actually, the TV was on and he was playing DS and I was reading.  But the commercials caught my attention tonight.  The first one was for Slimquick, the next one was for EA Active for the Wii and the next one was for Smirnoff.

I guess after all the drugs and exercise they think you need alcohol.  I know I would!

Happy New Year

I wish my Bloggy Friends a wonderfully happy and prosperous 2010!

I will be back next week....  this Full Time Mom Job is Tough!  :)