Dear Asperger's Syndrome

Dear Asperger’s Syndrome,

Long ago, I came to the realization and acceptance that you were going to be a part of our lives. A big part. However, we learned to live with you, learned how to work through the struggles, and we succeeded! Things have been happy and peaceful. Things are being done, life is being enjoyed.

Why is it that you feel the need to make waves now? We were happy with the compromises we have made. Now everything is a daily struggle. And let me tell you, I am tired of the struggles. Tired of the arguments, the nagging, the incomplete tasks and assignments.

I am going to ask you nicely to please return to your former self. Let us get back into our routines and comfort zones. If you refuse to do this on your own, I will be forced to get reinforcements.

Remember, I have been there, done this before and back then, I wasn’t as mentally capable as I am now. I know whom to turn to for help; I know where to find help. And I will DO it.

So this is your one and only warning. Behave yourself.  Or ELSE!

Sincerely,
AmyLK

UPDATE:  After reading this article and the comments left by people about changing the classification of Aspergers Syndrome to just Autism, I am ashamed of my above whining.  There are people in the comments who have NO clue about what services are available or where to even look.  Here is a quote that hit home for me:

"How am I supposed to have any hope that he will reach his full potential if his delays aren’t considered ’severe’ enough to get services yet he is clearly not functioning where he should be in comparison to same aged-peers. "

I am very fortunate that I have access to wonderful services locally.  Hell, I even had access to wonderful services that weren't local.  Son and I are very fortunate.  And I will continue to work my butt off to make sure I am not the mother in the above quote.  I will ALWAYS find a way to get the services for Son that he needs.  I will ALWAYS have hope that Son will reach his full potential.

I promise this to my Son.

Random Thought Tuesday

Today is Random Tuesday Thoughts and boy do I have some to clean up over here!

First let me just say that I am a Bad Mom.  And this is ME saying it, not the child who would possibly say it out of spite.  He volunteered me to make something for his class Valentine's Day party which actually was canceled due to snow.  But I totally forgot that I was supposed to make chocolate covered pretzels for Son to take in.  Actually, that's a lie.  I did remember.  Last night at 10:30 as I was locking up for the night.  No way was I starting THAT then.  He would just have to do without. BAD MOM. 

Turns out that I was not the only Bad Mom in the class.  They were not able to have their party today because other parents didn't send in their offerings either.  Of course, if the class mom's would have sent home a flyer or made a phone call, maybe us bad parents would have been able to get our stuff sent in today.  But that's another rant.

In case you were wondering, I did not go swimming in the Ocean in February.  The Lewes Polar Bear Plunge was postponed do to Blizzard #1.  We will be swimming in the Atlantic Ocean on March 14th.  There is still time to donate to this wonderful cause, the Special Olympics of DE.  Go here for more details

My BFF, Neicy (aka fellow Polar Bear!) and I went to the Bike Store and put Bicycles on Lay-a-way for spring.  Last spring and summer, she and I did a lot of riding around the county, even the neighboring county where we proceeded to get lost.  Iam not allowed to plan our routes anymore.  Her son broke the gears on her bike so she needed a new one.  My gears and brakes need work, plus its a mountain bike and we usually ride on road.  So Neicy and I will be tooling around in style come spring!

Thank you for the good wishes for Son's LEGO Evaluation, he passed!  lol  Actually, it was just to see how much interest he has in LEGOs (ha!), how his communication skills were (again HA!) and to let me know when the group will be meeting.  Starting February 26th, Son will be participating in the LEGO group.  You'd think I'd be doing a happy dance but they will be meeting on Friday evenings.  Which is when Son goes to his dad's.  Every other Friday for dinner, then the other Friday for the weekend.

Now his father is the type of man who doesn't believe there could possibly be anything wrong with HIS CHILD.  He is too perfect to have made a defective child.  Anytime there has been anything to do with Son's disability, he has fought me on it. He refused to pay his portion of the medical bills associated with the Aspergers (that was a fun court day with the judge yelling at his negiligence to his child! and having to pay my legal fees!)

So in the interest of being the Good Parent (aka Only Parent) I emailed him with the information on the group as well as some alternative days and times for his visit with Son.  Still waiting to hear back from him.   The worst that can happen is that he will refuse to flex his visits with Son, Son won't start the LEGO group yet, I will take him to court with documentation from the Dr (who is the #1 Autism Dr in the State for 2 years in a row!) and the Autism Center where this therapy is recommended for Son and his father will have his ASS handed to him AGAIN by the judge.  You'd think he's learn.  But if he was a smart person, he would not have left sweet little ME for Bitchface.  lol

I am planning a get-a-way weekend with my BFF!  Neicy and I always have so much fun together.  We definitely travel well together.  We like the same things, to see as much as possible in the time we are there and to EAT yummy food!  We are going to be in Washington DC the first weekend in April, which also happens to be Easter Weekend, the Cherry Blossom Festival and MY BIRTHDAY!  Woo ho!  I have picked out a hotel that is near everything we want to see and a Metro stop for everything that is not.  I can't WAIT!  I have always wanted to see the cherry blossoms.  I am also working on getting tickets for th White House Tour and the Capital Building. 

I Blew It As A Mom.  This is different than being a Bad Mom.  Son has a habit of telling me what his homework is but leaving some stuff out and that stuff stays in his bookbag.  I do not feel that I should have to check his book bag every night like he is in Kindergarten.  But since I found out this habit, I decided that obviously, I do need to treat him like a Kindergartener.  Here's how I failed, I did not check his book bag when he came home last Tuesday.  I did not check his book bag until this MORNING.  And of course there was homework in there that was not completed.  So we had another yelling match this morning which I won.  I will also be checking his book bag EVERY NIGHT.  Little shit.

Dad Update:  Thank you for all your prayers and good thoughts about my dad.  Last week right before Blizzard #2 he was feeling BAD.  His blood pressure was WAY low, he was dizzy and tired and had a Drs appointment for Wednesday.  Right in the middle of Blizzard #2.  The Drs office called to change it and Dad and Renie went in.  The Dr was concerned that Dad was feeling so badly, gave him a little shit for not calling sooner, ran some tests and reviewed the meds.  The tests showed that his BP was too low and that's why he was feeling like crap.  So they "tweaked" (Drs wording) his meds.  Dad will take certain meds depending on how high his BP is.  If its over 110, Dad is to take a certain med (I don't know which one, didn't ask).  The lower the BP and heart rate is, the more healing that his heart can do on its own.  So there are days that Dad feels pretty good and others that he feels like crap. 

The good news from this visit is that his heart is already showing some strengthening!!  Oh Happy Dance!  So dad has to keep doing what he is doing and hopefully by the mid-March the Drs will be happy enough with the Heart Muscle that they will talk about fixing the valves that need fixing.  We'll see!

Ok.  So that wasn't so much random thoughts as a bunch of follow up on previous stories!  If you want to experience REAL random-ness go see Keely over at the Un Mom!

Autism and Lego's

Son, as you may remember, is an Aspergers kid. He is very high functioning and if I didn't live in a small community, I probably would have to fight for the services he receives at school. I think if the school had more kids in it, he would not have the individualized attention that he gets. There are about 100 kids in his K-8 school, 12 kids in his class.

When Son was first diagnosed, the closest place for Autism services was about an hour away, at the Drs Office where he was diagnosed. ugh. The Dr. recommended Son join the LEGO group at his office but understood that the craziness associated with getting him there could out weigh the benefits of the therapy. Plus this Dr did not participate with my insurance. OUCH.

On a side note, Son’s Aspergers Dr was awarded the state’s Autism Healthcare Professional of the Year for 2008 and 2009. Sounds like we have the best!

In the county where I live there now is an autism center. They have an awesome array of services for all levels of the autism spectrum. The best part is that they are ALL FREE to county residents! YAY! Happy Dance! Its all made possible thanks to a grant made to this non-profit center.

Children with Autism Spectrum disorders seem to be naturally attracted to LEGOs when presented with a room full of toys. Therapists have devised a group based social development program using the LEGO systems. Improvements in social interaction and communication skills allow Spectrum children to develop and sustain lasting friendships and reach their highest potential.

The Autism Center is starting LEGO therapy! Monday, Son goes for his evaluation to see where he needs to be placed, if at all. I have no illusions that Son will need some type of therapy as I see his socialization and communication skills as his biggest problem. So wish us luck!

100th Post

WOW!  I have reached 100 posts!  I had no idea when I started this where I was going to take it, where it would take Me, or the wonderful friends I would make through it.  Thank you to all my followers, your daily comment love make me happy!

To celebrate my milestone, let's have a little contest.  Son and I are trying to decide on a name for the puppy and not finding one that we agree on.  My theroy is that since Son picked which puppy we get, I should get to pick the name.  Son doesn't agree with that.  humph.

So, here is a picture of the puppy....

Son wants to name him  Brownie or Buddy.  I picked Jaxon but think that might be too close to Son's name and they might get confused.  :)

The Puppy will be 6 weeks old on 2-22 and should be coming home shortly after that.  YAY!  I'm so excited!  I'm sure our kitties won't be as excited when he comes home.  Leave your suggestion in the comments!

Dig Out Day Again

Old Man Winter is being mean this year to us.  I think it snowed here until 9 pm last night (Wednesday).  According to the local paper we received another 12.8 inches on top of the 25 we still had on the ground.

But I will say that I didn't have to dig as much this time as the last.  Snow Plow Man called Kathy today and asked if she wanted to be dug out.  She said YES!  I love her!  So all we had to dig out was where the paths met where he plowed and to uncover the cars.  He cleared out the driveway and the parking areas!  Woo ho!  If he wasn't already married, I would love him too! 

He put Son on the front of the machine (I call it the Swiss Army Knife) and talked him through using the controls.  Son was alternating in Heaven and being scared out of his mind!  Here are some pictures.

Yesterday, I went out to get the mail and clean off Dad's steps a little and twisted my ankle BAD.  I have it wrapped up and did the ice thing yesterday.  Its still a little swollen today but I have been on it most of the morning.  Going to grab a cuppa tea, an ice pack and my eReader for the afternoon!

I hope everyone stays warm and gets dug out!  Spring is only 37 days away!

Snow Day Take 2

It started snowing here about 6 pm last night.  Right now, its rain.  Which is making for a nice heavy snow that will have to be shoveled later.  This is NOT a good snow for the snow blower.  So tomorrow, me, Son and the other tenants will work together to get things dug out.  My father gave his snow shovel to my brother so at least I don't have to worry as much about Dad working hard in this mess.

In the meantime, we are all snug and warm and safe inside waiting for the REAL snow to come.  We got about 6 inches overnight before it turned to rain.  Right now, its a mix of rain and icey/slushy/yuck.

The Compound

A little background on The Compound, as this little group of apartments is called.  Our landlord, Kathy owns to 2 buildings which have a total of 5 apartments in them.  There is a driveway that separates our buildings and a shared laundry room attached to my building.  I have shared our view before but here is another shot.

We get LOVELY sunsets here.

I moved in here after my divorce.  My father and step mom live upstairs and we are all good friends with Kathy.  She is more friend than landlord, another grandmother to Son. 

Shortly after I moved in, Nancy and Len moved into one of the apartments in the other building and they fit right in with us.  In the spring/summer, we all can be found at one of the many picnic tables around the place.  Right after work is Bloody Mary Hour. 

StepMom, Kathy and usually Nancy go yard sale-ing Saturday mornings.  Sunday mornings find the women gathered together for coffee and some sort of breakfast yummy.  Sunday afternoon is when we all contribute something to dinner and have a community picnic.  We usually do this in the winter also, just inside!

Last August, Phyllis moved in.  She is a disabled woman who took the second floor apartment in the other building.  We did our best to include her but she is LOUD and obnoixous.  Everything is about her and she is mean to her boyfriend. 

Then she was listed in the police blotter of the local paper.  She was arrested on drug charges.  A week or so later, she was in the police blotter AGAIN for shop lifting from Wal-Mart.  How nice!  And the entire time, she would lie to Kathy about how she was a good person, all this was a tissue of lies and she was innocent.  Kathy was even able to get a copy of her criminal record that shows she was found guilty of these things.  But Phyllis still insisted to Kathy that she was innocent.

Phyllis keeps a different schedule than everyone else here.  She's up most of the night and sleeps during the day.  She keeps Nancy and Len up with her noise at night (they live underneath her apartment).  Today, I was planning to sleep in, since work and school has been canceled.  But at 5:30 I was woke up by her slamming the washer and dryer doors around.  My apartment is sealed off from the laundry room but it is attached to the outside of my apartment and I usually can hear when the machines are running.  In the past, it has never been a problem but Phyllis does her own thing and doesn't care about the rest of the world.  Since Phyllis moved in, Kathy has posted hours for using the laundry room, 7 am to 10 pm.  I will be a tattle tale and let Kathy know later.

I feel for Nancy and Len because before she woke ME up, she cleaned off her deck and steps with a shovel and I am sure that work them up.

Other than Phyllis, I love living here.  We are almost one big happy family.

For those that are snowed in, be safe and warm.  I will be! and since I did all my housework/laundry on Monday, I will be curling up with some good movies and a few books.  And don't forget the cuppa tea!

Disconnect Day

Have you ever felt like you just wanted to hide from the world?  Yesterday was that kinda day for me.  So, I turned off the computer (mostly!), ignored the phone and set the cell to vibrate.  I just sat and tried to read but mostly stared blankly at the TV. 

I also did laundry and scrubbed my kitchen floor.  But now that all my housework for the weekend is done, I won't have anything to do on the weekend.  Won't even have Son.  And with the snow storm bearing down on us AGAIN, it looks like it will be a short school/work week.

Schools here were closed yesterday, don't ask me why because I saw no reason for it. Even MY little dead end road was cleared so there is no reason the rest of the roads shouldn't have been clear.  But Son was very productive.  He completed a lot of homework that he had been hiding from me as well as a lot of research on a project that is due 2-26.

Well, time to get the day started.  Need my breakfast, need to get Son motivated, need to answer about 25 text messages on the cell (I think 6 are from Denise!  Love you!).

Have a great day and for those in the path of the snow storm, be safe!