Girls Night Out

It's been a rough week. Too much stress from Jakes and work and living life. Plus my friend Lori has been bugging Janet and I to get together for some girl time. So we did it. Lori and I got babysitters, Janet left her hubs at home playing games and we went out for margarities.



Rita

It was GREAT!

The place was packed but Lori got us a table within 15 minutes and she even ordered our rita's for us as Janet and I were pulling into the parking lot. How'd we get along without cell phones and text messaging?!?!

We spent the evening chatting about our kids, love lives or lack there of, beach trips, jobs and just about everything.

The food was yummy as it always is at this place. The rita's fabulous! And the service was prefect! The waiter was there when we needed him, absent when we didn't, kept the rita's flowing and never, ever rushed us. Even if we were taking up a table on a Friday night, the place was packed and he could have rushed us out but didn't. Even when he probably knew we were done, he still didn't rush us out. Of course we left a great tip for him.

After dinner, I hung out at Janet's for a while to sober up a bit so I could drive home from her house. Next time I will drive so Janet can drink if she wants.  Of course this morning, after spicy food and several rita's my insides are not to happy with me. Small price to pay.

And we will be doing this more often. We need this time to bond and relax and share. Ok girls, let's plan it!!!

Expectations, Acceptance and Freedom

I had (still do actually!) a wonderful father. He was there for all the important and not to important things. He participated in my growing up and while I was always closer to Mom, I knew Dad loved me and he could be counted on.

I have complained many times about the waste of fatherhood my ex is. I kinda had a light bulb moment yesterday when he texted me about Son’s email to him. I, from time to time, have tried to hold A/H to my expectations of the kind of father he should be for Son. You know, when I offer A/H more time with Son, when I inform him of changes the Drs are recommending (ADHD medication), when its time for summer camp or how to pay for braces. 

I want that for Jakes. I have shown him that I will be there for everything, big or small. I have shown him that I will fight for everything he might need.

Apparently my expectations of what part A/H should play in Jakes life is very different from what he can give to Jakes. Every time I want more for Jakes and his relationship with his father, there is conflict, heartache, drama and more hate because his father doesn’t live up to my expectations.

All of this conflict is limiting my opportunities for growth and change. I need to accept that A/H is just that, an asshole that doesn’t want to be or just cannot be a father who meets my expectations.

Over the years, he has shown me that he will be an every other weekend babysitter plus dinners on Fridays. He has shown that he will pay the child support as long as it’s taken right from his check.

He has shown me that I will have to fight for any of the unreimbursed medical expenses associated with Jakes health and well being. He has shown me that he will not be a participant in learning and teaching Jakes how to cope with his Asperger’s Syndrome with ADHD Combined. He has shown me that he really doesn’t care about Jakes grades or school functions.

As I remind myself of his choice of the level of participation in raising this wonderful child of mine, I will learn to accept this and find a way to handle everything myself. If I don’t ask for more than he is willing or capable of giving, I won’t have the conflict, heartache, drama and more hate (aka CRAP).

Without all that CRAP, I will feel more at ease with my life as well. Learning to accept that will free me!

The Lawyer

**** There’s a bit of nudity in this story! Cover your eyes!****

Cassie lived right on the river. Most days, Jesse would ride her bike over and the two girls would swim and float the day away. One day while they were playing, one of the neighbors came out with his windsurfer.

I should tell you that Cassie and Jesse knew the neighbors mostly by titles, not they actual names. The Lawyer lived three houses down and was HOT! The People From Pennsylvania lived on the other side of The Lawyer. You get the picture.

It was The Lawyer who came out with his windsurfer and speedo bathing suit. Cassie waved hi to him and he called the girls over.

“Would you like to learn how to windsurf?” he asked. “I’d be happy to teach you both.”

Both girls were excited and of course wanted to learn. Hanging out with the cute lawyer would be so much more fun!

They moved to waist deep water and The Lawyer gave them instructions on getting on the board and pulling up the sail. It wasn’t as easy as he made it look. Once the sail was in the water, it filled with water and was crazy heavy. You have to pull the sail up out of the water while maintaining your balance on the board. Not an easy thing to do.

Finally, The Lawyer got on the board with Cassie and helped her pull the sail up. They sailed a bit, then Cassie lost her balance and into the water they both went. Then it was Jesse’s turn. She and The Lawyer were able to get the sail up but Jesse lost her balance right away and splashed into the water.

This was when The Lawyer suggested that maybe the girls had had enough for today and he sailed off on his own. The girls swam back to shore and giggled over their wonderful afternoon.

Several days later, Cassie was walking down the bulkhead to Debbie’s house. When she passed The Lawyers house, he was standing in his living room buck naked! And all the windows were open! Cassie did a double take, not believing that he would be standing there NAKED for all to see! Then she hurried on to Debbie’s house where both girls giggled over it and called Jesse.

Every time the rest of that summer, the girls would crane their necks to look into The Lawyers house to see what they could see! And when he would come into the river to give them windsurfing lessons, at least Cassie knew what was hidden in the speedo.

Life

I Have been living it and having fun. Not doing anything special. Just living.

Of course living has not been without its hiccups.



The deal with a/h fell through of course. This will probably get it's own post later. Briefly, jakes came home upset. I reacted but not too badly. A/h took offense because I protected jakes and he canceled the deal. After talking more with jakes and the therapist, I came as close to apologizing as I ever will to a/h. He has since said he doesn't want Jakes for the summer. Which he sent to me in a text message and wants ME to tell jakes. NOT happening. He can take responsibility for it. Like I said I will give more details in another post.




Dad has at least one cracked rib. We're waiting for he results of the X-ray. I don't have all the details but he fell last night and banged himself and his ribs up pretty good. can you say percocet is his new best friend?

See what I mean about hiccups?!? Sigh




My brother actually stopped out the other night. He hasn't been in touch with dad since JULY. And the only reason he came out this time is because dad saw him in town and ordered brother to come out and get his mail. Brother was only there for maybe 5 minutes. And that really hurt dads feelings. Needless to say I'm PISSED at brother and I no longer have a brother. Not a big deal cause we have never been close and he usually gets on my nerves.




I moved into my new space at work today. Yay! It was getting tiresome moving from office to office depending on what was open. I haven't settled in and still have lots of boxes to unpack but I have a home again.




Joining my choir has been wonderful for me. I love going and can't wait for the spring concert. Did I tell you that we are singing the national anthem at a Phillies game ON MY BIRTHDAY?!?? OMGoodness! I can't WAIT and neither can jakes cause he gets to go and we can stay to watch the game! Woot!!


And my evening had a wonderful ending with a long phone call with a great friend!




Was that random enough for you? Well if not go see The UN Mom to see the craziness around there.

DOTS

Jesse and Cassie were planning a surprise party for Cassie's brothers birthday. They invited all Steve's friends plus their boyfriends.

In the weeks preceding the party, Jesse and Cassie went around to all their teachers hole punches to collect the DOTS. They ended up with a huge bag full.

The day of the party Jesse and Cassie passed the bag of DOTS around to share. As Steve came home they all hid and waited to bombard him with the dots.

Everyone let loose at the same time and yelled surprise. Steve was surprised! And blinded by DOTS! There was laughter all around and the requisite dot fight.

There were DOTS everywhere! In hair, down shirts, in the furniture, in the food. Just everywhere.

When the party was over Jesse and Cassie worked together to clean up the DOTS but years later when Cassie moved out they found more DOTS.

As the years went on, occasionally one of the girls would gather up some dots and mail a care package. And laughter would ensue at the memory of so long ago.

You'd Better Sit Down For This One!

When I checked my email this morning I got a shock!  A/H has finally agreed to everything we have been discussing!  AND he also agreed for us to go to the courthouse, have them type up the order, figure the child support and save us attorney fees!  We are both giving a little to get a little.  I can't believe it!

Jakes spent the weekend there and came home miserable.  He is STILL miserable and growly at me.  But only me.  He speaks mean to me, with an attitude and when I call him on it, he denies it and huffs and puffs at me.  Then he speaks to G-pop or G-mom and he nice as pie.  Little brat.  Makes me glad he's going to spend the summer at his dads!

I had the best Valentine's Day.  When I left the house for work, a card fell out of the doorframe.  When I came home for lunch, I tripped over a card in the doorway.  It was a singing card!  With a Jack Russell puppy dancing!  I love my parents!

I love Sunday night dinners.  I usually cook dinner for my parents, Jakes and Ms. Kathy and we gather in Ms. Kathy's house.  Its a great time spent with the family catching up on the week past and events for the week coming.  After we make the changes to the court order, I will be picking Jakes up from his fathers and we'll have to come up with another plan for having Sunday Dinners.

Ms. Kathy has been sick this past week.  She had the flu this past week.  And we worry about Ms. Kathy when she gets sick.  We want to make sure she gets better quickly! She said she's sick of chicken soup. But she's feeling better.  She went out to lunch AND dinner yesterday.

When I go to AZ in May, I'm going with Ms. Kathy cause her granddaughter is graduating from high school and she wants some company on the plane.  I'm using her as an excuse to see a good friend and to have some relaxing time off from work and Jakes.  I think Ms. Kathy and her family in AZ are more excited to have me head out West for a visit than I am!  Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to the trip but Ms. Kathy is giddy with anticipation of the trip.  Too funny!

I want to do some sight seeing while I am there.  Any sugestions for things to see in the Phoenix area?

ESM is a great evil step mom.  Ever since she joined our family, she has been there as a mother presence but hasn't pushed being a mom on me. I can't express how much I appreciate that.  At the Sunday Dinner, she asked if she could give me some "motherly advise".  I said "go for it!"  While, I'm not ready to share that advise yet, I will say its some good stuff and has worked very well for her!  Thanks, ESM!

I am getting new office space at work. I am going from an office space all to myself to a little cubicle in the middle of a walk-through room.  Nice, huh?  But since my job doesn't involve the confidentiality of clients, just privacy, I had to give up my office space.  Bummer.  While they are creating my cubicle, I have been moved out of my office and have no "Home".  Thankfully, I work on a laptop and there is wireless in the building so I can work just about anywhere that there is a plug.  But I want MY space.  I'm tired of traveling each day to a new space and adapting.  Hey Construction Guys!  Get moving!

Maybe if they were cute workers, I might not mind too much.  The leader looks like Weird Al Yankovich dressed up and Michael Jackson.  Pretty scary!  And his helpers are all too young.

I guess that's all that's running around in my head for today.  Tune in for more Randomness over at Keely's!

Happy Valentine's Day

Wishing Each of You a

Happy Valentine's Day

I hope you are able to spend it with the ones you love!