Dreams

I am not a person that believes your dreams are a key to your future. I also am not a person who looks into my dreams to see what they are saying about me. I don’t usually remember my dreams in the morning.

Lately, I have had a couple that were VERY vivid and have stayed with me not only through the morning but I have been hanging onto them. The one dream, I know what it means and am working on it. HA!

This other dream is pretty significant to me because it tells me how much I am worried about things in my life. It also shows me that I am on the right path to fixing those things.

In this dream, Son and I are in the River only its REALLY high and its like flooding our house. The waves are fierce too. We are getting battered around like crazy. I have Saylors with us too. Yes, she plays an important role in real life in this instance.

Son and I are fighting over the best way to work with the waves and save ourselves. That’s when I hit the wall in my dream. A wave drove me forward and I hit HARD. Son takes Saylors from me and throws her at the wall too. Another wave pounds me, only this time I go under. I can’t figure out how to dodge these waves. I keep getting pummeled and I feel like I am drowning.

Then a little fairy in a green tutu complete with wings and a surf board comes over to us and tells me to duck UNDER the waves. WOW! A simple suggestion and while its not getting us OUT of the waves and water, at least I can control the situation a little better and don’t feel so panicked about it. That’s when I woke up. Still feeling a little out of breath, I think I was holding it when I ducked under the waves in my dream, but also with a sense of control.

See, Son and I have been fighting TONS here. He is grounded always and can never seem to change his behaviors to get un-grounded. I have been majorly stressed out over this and hating to come home to the turmoil of Son. He also has been hurting our animals. He started with Jaxon and I made excuses that he was jealous; he didn’t know how to handle a dog and many others.

Then when Saylors got hurt and he admitted to doing it, I panicked. I called his old therapist who doesn’t take our insurance. She called a colleague of hers at the place that does take our insurance and we got in the next day. Actually, only I met with her to bring her up to speed on what is going on. She is going to see Son next week but in the meantime, she gave me some tips to try and deal with him in a more effective way.

The best tip was to speak in a calm voice without emotion. See, Son’s Asperger’s’ hinders him from processing emotions appropriately and emotions can tend to freak him out. So if I can remove the emotional outbursts from ME, it should help him to cope better with life in general.

While I wasn’t looking forward to this weekend with Son because of how we have been in the past few months, I did my best to apply her tip. It turned out to be a pretty good weekend. Not perfect, not totally without conflict and emotional outbursts but a definite improvement.

I don’t feel like I am getting pounded into the wall ALL the time and I certainly am not drowning anymore. I have a lifeline and a fairy to help guide me.