Jakes Journal #3

This is my journal of my adventures with Jakes and regulating his medication.

Things are going downhill rapidly. Over the past 2 days, his mouth and excitability has increased ten fold.  Yesterday morning getting him ready for school was horrible.  He wasn't listening to my instructions (Nagging) so finally I just walked away and let him be.  If he went to school, Fine.  If not, I was beyond caring.  Then, his mouth started.  I don't remember what he said but it stuck a nerve and next thing I knew, I was pushing him into his room to get him away from me.  Lots of yelling and screaming at each other.  He did finally get ready for school, with more yelling and screaming from me, of course. 

He just doesn't think before he opens his mouth.  How do you get a kid, ANY KID, to do that?  ugh

Last night we went to dinner with the family and Jakes was rude to everyone.  Not mean rude but he didn't wait for his turn in the conversation, just interrupted whenever he wanted.  I tried to gently stop him from talking when others were but he wasn't getting it.  So when I started glaring at him while he was talking he got mad at me.

He's almost like one or both of the meds are not working.  I know that he's taking both of them, I watched him yesterday and today, just to be sure.  I know that we just started with the Intuniv at 2mg and it takes time to work but I was seeing changes, good changes.  Now, its like we are almost back to the beginning.  sigh.

I know these things that time but I am tired.

Jakes Journal #2

This is my journal of my adventure with Jakes and stabilizing his medication for Aspergers with ADHD Combined.

I still see improvement in Jakes from a week ago. But last night he was a little more pingy. As in ping-pong. He loved dinner, meatball sandwiches. Jakes was more or less cooperative, not as focused as he was on Sunday. I'll still take it.

Today was the first day of 2 mg on the Intuniv. This is also the med that he says keeps him from sleeping. Today I picked up Melatonin as per the drs suggestion. Another medication. Lovely.

This morning, he needed a bit more prodding and nagging to get ready for school. But again, no major yelling. Yay!

When he is off his meds, he makes noises. Doesn't matter what kind of noise, just any kind of noise. Today was a trilling sound. It was so high pitched it hurt my ears and Jaxon even flinched. I have no idea how Jakes makes this noise but I can only hope that as his voice changes he won't be able to make that noise anymore.  I would just like to have quiet in the mornings.  I don't mind talking or music but I cannot stand his noises, especially the high pitched ones.

This evening he was still a bit pingy and less focused than I have seen him in the week. But he's not as bad. I can live with this I think. Most days.

I am waiting for the dr to call me back with the results of the EEG from last Friday. Since he has taken his time getting back to me, I'm going to think that there is nothing wrong with his brain waves. YAY!

Of course, I'm still waiting for his father to get back to me with the answers to my and the drs questions. What was I thinking that he would get back to me within a week. Oh well. I have test results that will hopefully show everything the drs need to know. And the biggest hopeful is that his seizure was just a fluke!

Off to sing!

Phillies Game

My choir is singing the National Anthem at the April 3rd Phillies game!!  I CAN'T WAIT!!!  Here's the press release that was in the local paper today.. (I edited a little for privacy)

Oak Singers to perform Sunday, April 3

Sunday, April 3, will be a very special day for some members of the Salem Community College Oak Singers.

Under the direction of Charles H. Musser of Carneys Point, a group of the chorus will be singing the National Anthem at Citizens Bank Park, Philadelphia.

The 50-plus member chorus has sung the anthem two times for the Phillies: Once at Veteran's Stadium in the mid 1990s and the second time in September 2005.

Joining the Oak Singers will be a large entourage of family and friends to witness the singing and watch the game between the Phillies and Houston Astros.

The coordination of the arrangements for the chorus to appear at the game was handled by Paul R, a member of the group.

The Oak Singers is a community chorus that is based at Salem Community College. The group was established in January 1991, with 23 singers and has grown to more than 60 members.

In addition to putting on two major concerts each year, the Oak Singers participate in Salem Community College's commencement and occasionally perform at various civic functions.

Their spring concert will be held in Davidow Theatre on Friday, April 29, and Sunday, May 1.

One thing they forgot to metion in the article is that Sunday is MY BIRTHDAY!  What a way to spend your birthday!  Singing in front of 43,000 people!  WOW!

The game is going to be televised on PHL 17 and on MLB.com.  It might be on other channels and as I find out, I will let you know.  I don't usually watch ball games, do they televise the National Anthem?

Jakes Journal The First Episode

I really need to find a way to keep a journal of what goes on with Jakes.  So, here we go!

This weekend Jakes went to his fathers cause I was busy being a singleton and dancing my butt off.  When I got home on Sunday he was already there with my parents.

**** on a side note, I have to say that I love having my parents so close.  At this point in my life, I need to be close to them. ****

Jakes was calm and quiet but still himself.  One of the things I worry about with the medication is that we will loose "Jakes."  That is a scary thought to me!  We chatted and then went to Ms. Kathy's for dinner.  I wasn't eating and neither was Jakes but we went over to keep everyone company and to get caught up on the happenings around The Compound.

Jakes is currently on two medications for his ADHD, one a quick acting, short duration medication and the other a longer acting medicine that has to build up in his system.  The Dr is hoping that we can increase this medicine and reduce the other one.  This medicine has fewer side effects and is not a controlled substance.  I'm all for this plan as long as it works for Jakes.  He's been on the new medicine since Wednesday, is on the lowest dose made and I am seeing a change in him already.  LOVE IT!

When I got home last night, he was calm and quiet but still himself.  He chatted appropriately and was pleasant.  He whined when G-pop asked him to put the trash cans out for pick up but he was moving to get his coat on when he whined.  That was a normal "I can't believe you want to do something" whine and we all ignored it.  He is allowed to express his opinion, after all.  In the past, he would have out and out refused to do it and it would have been a battle.  I was SO proud of him!  And when he came back in I told him so.

At home, he went into the living room to hang up all 3 of his coats that were tossed about the house.  YAY! I didn't have to ask him!  YAY!  I asked him to unpack his bag and give me his clothes so I could wash them.  He did!  Without arguing or stalling!  YAY!

We chatted about his grades, which are still in the toilet but are coming up.  He was starting to stress himself about getting better grades.  I told him that I am happy with the work that he has put into getting them up and if he keeps it up, things will be fine.  He was concerned because he has a C in science and I don't like C's.  I said, "you're right.  But you've brought science up from a 56 to a 79 in a couple of weeks.  I just want you to keep doing what you are doing."  He's doing so much better about getting the homework turned in!  Last week there was only one assignment that he missed turning in and he insisted that he had done it but the teacher hadn't marked it.  My point to relating this conversation is that it was a calm and rational conversation, without yelling and crying!  YAY! 

We chatted about his homework and getting his book bag together.  No arguments!  YAY!  It was such a wonderful evening, I invited him to settle in with me to watch TV for the last half hour before bedtime.  At bedtime he whined again that he didn't want to go to bed. He did stall for a few minutes but I didn't nag him and he went in by himself!  YAY!  When I went in for kisses (yes, my 12 year old still wants me to tuck-tuck him!) I told him how much I enjoyed our evening together!  I praised his behavior!

Mornings have been notoriously rough.  This is because he doesn't have any meds in him by the morning.  That's why the Dr has prescribed the second one. 

Today started out pretty nice!  We got snuggles in and when it was time, he got up and started playing with the dog.  I had to do a bit of nagging about getting ready.  At one point he asked to make a deal, if he got ready for school on time and without arguing with me, I'd let him play my iPad until it was time for the bus.  I said no and he had a little fit.  But he took himself to his room, I left him alone for about 10 minutes, then went in to ask him about dinner.  I slipped questions about getting ready for school in there and he was back on track.  All in All it was a good morning!  Especially if you compare it to past mornings!  YAY!

So as the #2 medicine works its way into his system and we move up one dose, I have hope that we will be able to function normally.  I have hope that I won't need medication myself!  HA!

I've already checked his grades on the school website and he handed in the missing assignment and there are no zero's for today!  Way to Go, Jakes!

My weekend contained..................

Yummy food, cherry penises, buttery nipples, green boobies, dancing, laughter, long night, and a hang over.  And I had a WONDERFUL time!  SO relaxing!

It all started with a very adult dinner with Neicy at a yummy place in Cherry Hill.  We've been there before and loved the food, atmosphere and prices.  They had a special menu for South Jersey Restaurant Week.  For $35.00 you got to choose three courses and a desert tray.  Pair that with wine and good company and its a fabulous evening! I had a tomato and fresh mozzarella with basil pesto to start.  The next course was a yummy zucchini crabcake on a bed of spinach.  Our main course was a broiled lamb chop with mashed and assorted veggies.  Pair all that with a nice Pinot Grigio and it was a lovely meal.  We had a plate of assorted deserts with a little Godiva Liquor to finish off the meal.  Neicy and I got to chat and get caught up on things that we can't cover in email.  With us being such good friends, there is never a lack of conversation!

On Saturday, I went North for Kimbers bachelorette party.  We all met at a yummy Italian restaurant for dinner.  When I say, Yummy, I mean YUMMY!  After dinner we headed back to Kimber's to get the Party started and wait for the club to open.

We started with Jell-O shots and other vodka stuff while they called the club for VIP seating and the cabs to take us there.  I have never been in the VIP area of a club but I LOVE IT!  You get your own area to sit and dance in, you get your own waitress so you don't have to wade into the bar for your drinks.  Its expensive unless you have a bunch of people to split it with, which we did.

Okay.  Back to the Pre-Party.  There were cherry and orange penises.  Penis maraca's.  Jell-O shots.  Silliness.  and giggles.  And green boobies!  Kimber had gotten necklaces with a light up moon for us to wear.  It would make it easier to keep track of the entire group.  Then the Taxis came for us and the Party got started!

At the Club, we get a couple of shots.  Kimber got a lemon drop and I got a buttery nipple.  I like sweet tasting stuff.  The buttery nipple is like drinking a butterscotch drop.  YUM.  And it will kick your A$$ cause you don't know you're drinking liquor.  After the shots, we moved into our VIP area with more vodka and dancing.  We started out on the dance floor but as it got busier and more crowded, it was almost impossible to dance.  So we danced at the VIP area.  And we danced!  It was a great night.  It even included Michele getting a lap dance from the lesbian lovers who stopped over in the opposite VIP area!

We closed out the club and took our taxi home.  Once there, we had to find spots for everyone to sleep. I shared Kimber's bed with her and two of her dogs!  But at least Kimber couldn't kick me like she used to when we were kids.

This morning was rough.  I don't drink very much or often so all that I drank hit me hard.  Last night and this morning. And my feet hurt from all the dancing in heels.  I just feel OLD today.  So I am taking this old self off to bed!  See ya'll tomorrow!

Total Transformation Thursday Week 1

I'm sure everyone has seen the commercials for the Total Transformation Program by James Lehman.  He makes the promise that if you use his easy to follow program, you child will be totally transformed.  Sounds pretty outlandish, right?  Check it out:

I have whined a lot on here about how difficult a time I am having with Son and his Aspergers with ADHD combined with puberty.  I have whined to Neicy and Kimber.  I have yelled at Jakes until my father comes downstairs and suggestes I take a walk.  Jakes and I are in therapy.  Jakes is on ADHD medication.  I WANT to be on medication!

And we are still failing.  Him in school and me as a Mom.  I am tired and depressed, angry and miserable.  And DESPARATE.  And goodness knows how Jakes is feeling.  I imagine along the same lines as me.

Kimber has been having trouble with her kids, different troubles than mine, but troubles none the less.  She saw the commercial for the Total Transformation Program and sent away for it.  And shared it with ME!

Things in her house seem to have settled down.  I don't know if its becasuse she has implemented the program or if its just the natural cycle of things.

Anyway, the kit comes with a DVD, workbook and audio discs.  I am supposed to be starting Week #3 but I want to review week #2 again.  The first couple of weeks are describing your child and the behaviors as well as the ineffective parenting roles we have adopted and WHY we have adopted them.  I am hoping that Week #3 will enable me to learn how to correct my ineffective parenting ways.

Week #1 feels like a commercial to convince you that this program is great.  Like you are being brain washed.  Week #2 wasn't as much washing but there was some.

So, next Thursday, I will let you know how well I did at digging through Week #2, Ineffective Parenting Skills.  Sounds like a self esteem builder, right?

Wordless Wednesday

What a Sweet Face!

Railroad Tracks and other Random Thoughts

Look!  Two posts in a Row!  Woot! 

Son got his braces today and my mind flashed back to all the names kids called me when I had mine.   

• Brace-Face
• train track mouth
• metal mouth

Not saying any were creative or nice.  Now I get to endure the physical and emotional pain of having a teen brace face for the next two years!  In addition to everything else with him.

Jakes has been just fine since his little problem on Saturday.  I haven't been too worried about him either.  At least not until I talked with the nurse at the Drs office.  AM seemed very concerned.  She has been a pedi nurse for many years.  I mean she took care of me when I was in the hospital in 1986!  Plus she has raised 5 kids of her own.  She is FABULOUS.  But when she called me back and seemed so worried, I wondered if maybe I should be a little more worried about Jakes.  Maybe if I had watched him have the seizure or been at the hospital, I might be a little more rattled.  But we go to see the Dr today to talk about medications and seeing a Pedi Neurologist.

I have great plans for this weekend.  Neicy and I are going to a YUMMY place for South Jersey Restaurant week on Friday night.  On Saturday, Jaxon and I are going to North Jersey for a relaxing weekend with my BFF Kimber!  Should be lots of fun and WINE!

I took today off work so that I can take Jakes to all the appointments.  There was just no way that I could fit work into my schedule.  Bummer!

Daddy just stopped by to invite me to lunch with them.  Catcha later!  You guys should check out Keely's for more RTT

The Dreaded Phone Call

Every other weekend (more if I have plans) I pack my son up and send him off to his fathers. When we first started this, I hated it. I would crumple to the floor and sob my heart out cause Jakes was gone. What was I going to do with myself for the entire weekend? Then Neicy and I started planning and doing things on my weekends without Jakes and I would look forward to my time away from him.

There was always the thought in the back of my head, what happens if he gets hurt or sick at his dads’? I KNOW his father can’t handle him as well as I can. No one can do that. But 5 years have gone by, I practically push the kid out the door when I see his father turn onto the street, and I have stopped worrying as much about there being a medical problem.

Until this weekend. On Saturday, I left my phone in the house while I changed the laundry and when I came back, there was a missed call, a voicemail AND a text. All from A/H. Well, crap. This can’t be good. There is a restraining order in place that we are not supposed to communicate other than email, about the kid, except in an emergency. And this was such a case.

Jakes was in the ER in MD near his dad’s house, TWO STATES AWAY. He’d had a seizure but was fine. A/H needed the insurance information because he couldn’t find it in Jakes overnight bag. Idiot! And I don’t give a RATS ASS about the insurance information, I want to know what’s going on with my Son.

I had to be nice to A/H. Tell me THAT didn’t bite the big one. I called back and gave him the information he needed, while getting the address for the hospital so I could fly down there.

I called the g-parents and Neicy, then hit the road. Stopped by to grab Neicy. Then got stuck in traffic. Can’t people in Delaware PLEASE learn how to drive over the Churchman’s Marsh so there isn’t a traffic jam through there? I mean, COME ON People! It’s a FIVE lane highway! Plenty of room to MOVE IT.

Jakes and A/H were discharged before I got there so I had to go to A/H’s apartment to see Jakes. (shudder!) But there is NO way I would have been able to rest without seeing my baby and hugging him close.

Jakes was Fine, they did all kinds of tests and found nothing wrong. He wanted to finish out his weekend with his dad and I let him. They think it was the ADHD medication. He has been on 2 and he didn’t like the one so he stopped taking it. I told him he had to take that one but he stopped and I didn’t know it for sure. We have an appointment with the Pedi Dr tomorrow afternoon and I will be asking for a referral to a Pedi Neurologist for a follow up just to be sure.

Funny things about the visit: the girlfriend HID in the bedroom while I was there. Is she afraid of me? Why doesn’t A/H want me to meet her? I mean, I would have been nice and even thanked her for taking care of my child in his time of need while his father was working. I probably would have offered my cell phone number to her in case she wasn’t able to get in touch with A/H in an emergency. IDIOT.

Jakes loved that his father and I were being nice to each other. I was not nice. Just polite. I talked with Jakes and Neicy, the only things I said to A/H was to ask about the ER visit. I wanted as much info for when I talked to the Dr on Monday.

Jakes is still working on his dad to be allowed to stay there for the summer. He was especially pleased that “Now you know where Dad lives for when you come to get me during the summer!” Right kid, jut what I wanted to know. I wanted to tell him that his father was having a temper tantrum and we weren’t talking about the transportation stuff anymore. But I didn’t.

The bottom line is, Jakes is fine. And I know that in an emergency, I can work with A/H to get through the crisis. 

Shopping after a crisis is good therapy!  Neicy and I stopped at the Mall on our way home.  I mean, we had to go right past anyway!

I Am Only Capable of Short and Not So Sweet Thoughts………………..

Ok so I went an entire WEEK without posting. I’d like to say its cause I am living my life and am just too busy to record it, but truth is, I’ve spent too much time on my butt on the couch. I can’t stop being tired and miserable. I’m so miserable, I hate to be in my own head.

Moving on with the Randomness…………………..

Since last summer, ESM and Kathy have been on the lookout for a Bike Trainer at yard sales. I had just about given up when Jakes and I spotted one. We weren’t looking at yard sales but happened past this one when Jakes yelled “THEY HAVE A BIKE THINGY!!” We turned around and so I now have a bike trainer. I used it one day and now I have a flat tire that won’t hold air.

I feel like the universe is against me training for the Bike to the Bay in Delaware this year. I had decided that if JF would take Jakes for the summer, I would have lots of time to train. When that fell through, I was disappointed for many reasons but no biggy. I got the bike trainer and decided I would train in the house or on the front porch when the weather was better or actually out on the road as I could. But with the trainer I would be able to get my miles in.

Now I have a flat tire. Is the universe out to stop me from training for Bike to the Bay? A less blockheaded person would probably say, yes, but this is me we’re talking about here. I’m going to get the tire fixed and see what else the universe throws my way. I got my glove on, ok!

I flirted with danger and lost this past weekend. I took Jakes off his Concerta for the weekend just to see if there was a difference in him. Not much of one. He was still defiant and disobedient but he wasn’t as hostile and miserable. It was a rough weekend. On a good note, when I put him back on it for school, he seems to be calm without the miserable side effects, etc. Let’s see how long it lasts. And I will talk with the Dr about it next week.

Ok, I’m over the random short and not so sweet thoughts. But if you are craving more, head over to Keely's! Plenty more over there!

Random-Up!

Thank you to all who commented on my last Frustrating post.  I appreciate your support and thought provoking questions.  I am working on finding the answers. 

I suck at meditation.  But there is a great website that I am using to teach myself again.

I met with a friend for lunch today and she asked when we are going for our next GNO.  Quickly I went over everything I have going on in my life for the next month and a half and its CRAZY!  Good crazy but crazy just the same.  Don't worry, Janet!  We'll get another couple of Rita's in SOON!

I turned Tweets to my Phone off for most of the peeps I follow and while I miss seeing what they are up to instantly, I don't miss the phone blowing up all day long.  Sorry, friends!  I will catch up at the end of the day!  My direct messages and mentions still come to my phone right away.

Jakes announced at therapy last night that he wants to try the medicine.  He is 12 and deserves to have some say in what the treatment is for his disabilities.  So, we're trying it.  Today was the first dose and I can't wait to hear from him after school to see how it went.

Seeing the word "dose" makes me laugh.  His father can't spell to save his -----  well, he can't spell.  So whenever he sends me an email he has "dose" where I think he actually means "does".  See?  Stupid.

I am VERY glad that I have unlimited minutes for my cell phone and that calling AZ isn't considered long distance!  HOURS spent chatting makes for a nice way to pass the evening.  Is it May yet?

On another note, can anyone make AZ follow Day Light Savings?  After this weekend, instead of being 2 hours behind, they will be 3.  And I don't think I can stay up that late.  I'll get things started with a petition.  Ya'll sign it with me, right?

I am going to change what I call A/H.  Supposedly if I can call him by his name (HA!) or refer to him as Jakes Father (JF) rather than a bad name, I won't be as angry at him (HA!).  So from now on, JF = A/H.  Unless of course he dose (see, annoying!) something stupid.  Then I will just have to call him A/H.

I bought oil for my bike chain yesterday!  This means that spring is coming!!  Woot!

Ok. I have to go pee (TMI!) and get to writing an actual grant.  Its one I am going to have fun with.  Party planning for a Women's Conference!

Go over and see the Un Mom for more random-craziness!  Its all the Economy's fault!

Frustration

My jaw hurts. Why you ask? Cause I am clenching it ALL THE TIME. Especially when the kid is around. I have so much anger and frustration from dealing with him that I clench my jaw and make my whole face hurt. Then I get more frustrated by that.

Whenever he is around, I am angry. Angry at his grades, his attitude, his mouth, his just being here; it all makes me angry. And I don’t know how to stop being angry.

I don’t want to be around myself, let alone other people. Neicy and I went to the mall over the weekend and I found myself clenching my jaw with her. Not that she was doing anything annoying, it actually was the most relaxing thing I have done since GNO.

On Friday, after Jakes left, I just shut the world out. I locked the door, turned off the lights and watched TV. I don’t even remember what I watched so I think what I actually did was zone out.

I had a chance to go to Kimber’s this weekend but I just didn’t feel like driving up there and having to be nice. I just wanted to wallow in my own anger and self pity. I’m pretty sure Kimber is a little annoyed with me because I didn’t explain why I wasn’t coming up.

I didn’t even want to chat with my friend in AZ. If I could just crawl under my desk and stay there for a very long time, I would. I know that I am depressed.

Unfortunately, I’m a single mom who works outside the home. We Mom’s don’t get vacations or sick time or self pity time. Right now I LIKE going to work. It’s the one place where I feel like a person. I don’t have to worry about my kid and what stupid thing he is going to do to piss me off. I dread going home when I know he’s there. Most of the time, I don’t answer my phone when he calls me after school.

This weekend while Jakes was away, I tried to get my mind in order and anger free. By Sunday evening, I was feeling pretty good. Jakes came home, we had dinner with the family and 5 minutes after we were home by ourselves, I was angry at him again.

I hate that I can’t talk nicely to him, everything I say seems to have anger behind it. I haven’t said anything nice to him in probably a week. Maybe longer. Its no wonder the kid is mouthy and hateful to me. That’s how I have been to him.

I don’t want to feel this way. I have to STOP feeling this way. I have to stop acting this way with him and the rest of the world.

I have started meditating again. I suck at it. But I will get better. I am going to make sure I get at least 15 minutes of sunshine every day that the sun is out. I am going to start exercising regularly. All of these things were prescribed by my therapist when I was diagnosed as depressed.

I don’t want to go back on depression medication. I want to try to make this work without it. Its so hard to get off of it once you start on it. And I don’t want to be on it for the rest of my life or through Jakes teen years.

I have to change how I think about him and his behaviors. Most of his behaviors are caused by the Aspergers with ADHD and he has no control over them. Since he has been on the medication, I think I have felt that he should be able to control them and I have changed how I think of him. Since he is on medication, he should be the perfect child, with the perfect grades, with the perfect attitude, right? ADHD medication is a miracle drug. At least that must be what is in my head.

But he still has Aspergers with ADHD. He still has the same impulse control, inattention and socialization issues as before the medication was started. These symptoms have improved with the medication but they are still there. I have to remind myself that while he is better, he still has Aspergers with ADHD and therefore he might not be able to control himself.

I  have to change my thinking and classification of Jakes and his behaviors. I have to find the patience and make the effort to change out I interact with him. I have to do this before one of us looses our minds. And it would probably be ME!

The Surgery



Crazy Hat Day to Celebrate
Dr. Suess's Birthday



Jakes ear tube removal surgery was Wednesday and it went well.  We both survived.  It was scheduled later in the day than in the past but as he gets older and remains healthy, his priority goes down. 

I love the childrens hospital that we go to.  They KNOW how to care for kids and their parents.  Jakes complained that a couple of the nurses talked to him like he was a baby.  I agreed with him and explained that they might not be used to working with older kids and asked him to have patience.  And he did.

We went through all the hoops for pre-op and he drank the Giggle Juice like a champ.  And he got silly, then they took him away from me.

I headed over to the waiting area and got settled.  I was there for maybe 5 minutes before the Dr came out to tell me that everything went well.  WOW!  That was quick, the quickest I think.  The tube is gone, the ear looks good, there's no infection and not even a hole in the ear drum. 

I found a spot that had a cell signal and texted/called everyone.  Then went back to wait for them to get me to watch Jakes wake up.  He was already awake when I went back, babbling about different stuff but I don't know what.  We got him to rest a little bit then I made the mistake to give him my iPad to play with.  He didn't want to give it back or leave.  uh, Dude, we have to go!

We got into the car finally and he said in a weak voice, can I call Grandmom?  Drama much, kid?  He asked g-mom to call g-pop and have him meet us at the car to help walk into the house.  Silly kid!  G-pop was there for us, not that he was needed.

Jakes planted himself on the couch with the laptop to play video games.  His world was perfect.

Things To Think About..................

Everyday there are things that you have to think about. What blouse to wear to work, what to make for lunch, or how much to medicate your child.

Getting the medication in place for Jakes has been a fight and a long time coming. The Dr and I both think we have found a good medication for Jakes. It works to help with his concentration and most of his impulse control problems. But then there is his MOUTH. Not the part of his mouth that needs braces but the mouthy mouth that plucks my last nerve which hasn’t healed yet.

Since starting the ADHD medicine, Jakes has been grumpy with everyone and his mouth is over the top. It may not always be the words, but his tone. He is surly, growly and sometimes just plain MEAN when he responds to anyone. He got smart with Ms. Kathy the other day. UNACCEPTABLE!  When I talk to him about his tone, he denies it. He doesn’t think that he is talking differently.

In talking with the Dr this week about the medication, I mentioned this and we discussed whether it could be the medication or if its just his age and the fabulous hormones kicking in. Dr is recommending another medication for us to try. It’s a non-stimulant and if he’s having issues with the Concerta, this medication should help his mouth.

My problem that I am pondering is: Do I want ANOTHER medication for my child?  I fought for years to keep him off of medication, until it became my last resort.  Since Jakes has only been on the medication for about 2 months, do I take the easy way out and give him another medication?  Or do I try and work with him on his mouthy-mouth to see if we can make improvements without another medication?

I mean, I haven't even tried other than to talk with him.  I haven't set a period of time for us where I bring to his attention his attitude and help him to find other ways of responding.  I haven't talked with our therapist about it to get her take on the situation.

I guess since I have paused to think about this is because I really am not comfortable with giving him another medication to possibly counteract the medication that is working.  If this doesn't help with mouthy-mouth, what is next?  A different medication?  Where does it stop?

I guess I will be discussing this with the therapist and pondering it more by myself.

Random therapy room thoughts

I'm waiting in the therapy room and should probably save these thoughts for her but I choose YOU! For some of them at least



I'm here by myself cause I need to talk with her about several things without jakes hanging around.


Tomorrow is surgery day for him. He has a tube in his right ear that's causing more problems than it's fixing. So they are taking it out. The one In his left ear has fallen out all by itself. Why can't the right ear behave like it's other side? So tomorrow. No food for jakes. And after 10:30 nothing to drink either. He's already asking for the giggle juice they give before surgery. Have we been through this too many times?


Work is suddenly busy as all get out. I have many proposals due all around the same time. This is going to prevent me from getting spring fever.



Dad finally got the results of his x-ray and he doesn't have any cracked or broken ribs. Just very bruised. Yay! Quicker recovery time. I still want to wrap him in bubble wrap.


It's a good thing I have unlimited minutes on my plan. I've spent HOURS chatting with various friend, both near and far from me! Love it!!


Time to go in and cry. Yes neicy, I do cry too much!