According to T.S. Eliot's Poem, The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter. Each cat must have THREE different names. One that that family uses daily, practical every day names. Then there are names that belong to just one cat. And lastly, there is the name that no human research can discover, the name that the cat himself only knows. So if you see a cat in profound meditaiton its because he is contemplating his ineffable effable, effanineffable, Deep and inscrutable singular Name.
I was surprised at how much of this poem I remembered from the musical Cats. It started me thinking about names I use for people in my life. People who have been there for a long time and I love very much.
I have many parents of friends that I call "Mom" or "Dad" Nancy and Ray are Mom and Dad. AZ's mother is Mom. Kimber's Mom was "Mom" before she passed. Janet's mom is "Mom." Its just easier and most of the parents don't mind.
But for ESM, who has been a part of the family for SO many years, I still call her by her first name.
When I refer to Dad and ESM together, I say my parents. To Jakes, she is Grandmom and has been for many years.
But I just can't seem to bring myself to call her Mom. Or even some variation of Mom. She has never tried to take the place of my mom. When I need a mom, she is there in whatever way I wish. When Kathy would refer to ESM as my mom, I would correct her.
Why am I so afraid to have this world think I am this fabulous woman's daughter? Most people who know us, know my mother passed and know that ESM is not my biological mother.
Her birthday is in January and Dad and I are at a loss as to what to get her. Maybe my gift to her will be to call her Mom. Its an inexpensive gift yet one that could mean the world to her.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Twas Christmas morning and not a creature was stiring, not even....... wait! The dog was doing the potty dance at the door. Come on, pup, out you go.
Where was I?
Oh yeah. No creature was stirring, no one at all. There were no kids ripping paper and scattering it around the room. There were no shrieks of joy and amazement. There was no tantalizing scent of Cinnabons baking. There was no anticipation of the Grandparents visiting for Christmas breakfast.
Just silence and a clean, organized house.
This is the reality of my first Christmas Morning without Jakes waking up in my home with me. It broke my heart to miss out our traditional Christmas morning stuff.
Without the chaos and the mess and the grandparents barging in, it just didn't seem like Christmas.
Even later in the afternoon, when the gparents and Jakes were in the house, it didn't seem like Christmas day. I guess I just have to accept that things are changing as we grow up.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Three more working days for the year for me. I love the week between Christmas and New Years. My company gives us Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off as well as New Years Day. That's THREE holidays within a week of each other. THEN they also give us TWO floating holidays to be used within a certain timeframe. I use them to the week between Christmas and New Years. I usually have to to take one or two vacation days to cover the entire week but that's not a big deal. I still am getting almost TWO WEEKS off on the company!
This has worked out wonderful for me since being a single mom. I haven't had to worry about babysitters or day care while Jakes is off of school. Now he is older and doesn't need a babysitter AND he lives with his Dad.
We are working out the details of the holiday visitation as well as extra time for Jakes to be with me. There's still time and Jakes gets a say in how much extra time he'll spend with me that week. I'm expecting him to stay with me for the entire week.
Its going to be a good holiday week. Lots of plans. Painting the kitchen, relaxing and maybe a trip to the beach. Oh and LOTS of reading!
What are your plans for between the holidays?
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
I have the best Daddy around!
He videoed this with his phone.
Its just a snipit of the concert.
Unfortunately, you can't see me because I'm behind the mic.
But I am there! It was a wonderful concert both nights.
I am going to miss gathering and singing with this wonderful group of people while we are on break. But we will get back together at the end of January!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Just a quick update on things around the nest.....
Spent the weekend SICK as a dog! Just a cold, thanks for sharing AZ! But it kept me in bed Sunday and Yesterday. UGH. I hate being sick! Jaxon, on the other hand, loved it! He spent most of the day snuggled in bed with me.
The Holiday concert went well! We had an awesome turn out for both performances. Daddy videoed a little bit for me but I have to catch up with him to get the thumb drive from him.
Jaxon is getting a playmate for a week or so! Oscar is coming to visit while my parent go out of town. Its going to be exciting having 2 dogs running under foot! If anyone has any tips for parenting two active dogs, please share them!
I am going to be off work for almost 2 weeks between Christmas and New Years! Jakes will probably spend most of that time with me! I am looking forward to and yet dreading the time! I'll have to see if I can afford a little trip to OCMD for us like we used to do.
The weather here has been rainy, overcast and foggy for over a week now. I'm beginning to think we live in Seattle rather than the East Coast. YUCK. What I wouldn't give to see a little sunshine!
Because of things going on in my life, I am thinking of getting in touch with my old therapist. I have gotten some good advice from friends on the situations but I think I might want an unbiased opinion on some things. And she could also remind me of the coping skills I needed in the past. Not to mention some ideas for changing things that we haven't thought of.
I think Jakes is grounded because of his grades. I got a progress report that included TWO F's and he hasn't texted me lately. If he were in my house, he'd be grounded from texting. I emailed his father letting him know that I am willing to continue the grounding rules in my home as well as curtail his working at the farm until his grades come up. As usual, the father-of-the-year hasn't responded to my inquiries. If the school didn't send me information, I wouldn't know anything. Oh well, I will continue my efforts to co-parent even if his father doesn't reciprocate. If we ever had to go to court over it, I can show my efforts and his lack of cooperation.
That's about it. Its time for a quick walk over to the bank and then back to work on the applications at work! Have a wonderful Tuesday!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
I'm getting good at avoiding things that can't be changed in my life right now. But if they continue to affect my health, I might have to deal with them before I'm really ready. We'll see what happens.
Jakes texted me last night. He is having problems with controlling his temper and his mouth. He wanted to know why. I love that he came to me for advice! He knows where to get the answers and support. I've instilled a good thing in him! He knows where to come for help with his behaviors.
We talked about how he's a teenager and impulsive and that he needs to try to use the STOP method.
T - Think
O - Options
P - Price
We used this when he was little and it worked for him. As he's gotten older, I think he's gotten away from applying the skill. I also didn't want him thinking that its from his Aspergers/ADHD because then he might think he can use that as an excuse to continue the bad behavior. I also don't want him to think he can't change. If he thinks its more because he's a teen, then he might put more effort into changing the behavior.
I was so proud of him for recognizing that he has a problem and that he wants to make a change.
Jakes, Jaxon and I stopped over to visit the Gparents this weekend. Jaxon has been a little skitish with Oscar and Oscar likes being the boss. When they play ball down the hallway, Oscar usually bullies Jaxon into letting him get the ball. This weekend, Jaxon started fighting back to get the ball. Good boy! About time Jaxon put Oscar in his place! They are learning to share. Oscar is coming to visit us for a week or so while Dad and ESM go away. Its going to be so much FUN!
Christmas is coming and I am so not ready. I don't want to shop, decorate or anything. But I have a kid who wants to see the tree and all that he's grown up with, so I have to get it done. Time to get the tree out of storage and put up. Maybe this weekend.
This weekend is my Holiday Concert. I can't wait! Going to be so much fun! The countdown is on!
That's what's going on in my world. How're things in your world?