Monday, December 30, 2013


Just wanted to check in and let you know I am fine.

I have moved!!!  No more drug house for me!

Christmas was wonderful at my parents.  They spoiled Jakes, Jaxon and me!

I am busy unpacking and getting my pantry filled.

I promise to check in and bring you up to date on things later this week!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday and a Happy and Safe New Year!!


Friday, December 20, 2013

Looking Forward to the New Year

I am moving right after Christmas.  If all goes well, I will be ringing in the new year in my new place.  While I am resigned to moving, I am still scared and worried about how to make this work on my own again.  I know can do it, its just in my DNA to worry over things.

Its going to be just me and the dog, with Jakes on the weekends.

Things I am looking forward to:

Being able to sit in the living room and watch TV without having to listen to people snore.
Being able to walk from the bedroom to the bathroom in the middle of the night without having to fully dress
Being able to cook spicier food.
Being able to have green veggies in the house.
Being able to have fruits in the house.
Being able to sing and play my music whenever I want.
Being able to sleep through the night because stupid people won't be walking into the bedroom at 2:30 am for their fix.
Being able to have friends over without being embarrassed by someone passed out on the couch.
Coming home at lunchtime to see my puppy. (The new place is closer to work!)
Not having to pick up after everyone in the house, just me and the dog.
Not having to worry that someone will overdose during the night.
Not having to worry that someone will wreck their vehicle when they are driving under the influence.
Not have to worry that the gas stove is turned off when someone is done with it in the middle of the night.

There are so many reasons to be happy with this move. Just getting through the stress of the next couple of days is going to be hard.  I have made plans so that I won't have to spend much time at the house until its time for me to show up with a truck to cart my boxes out the front door.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Quick Thoughts

I should be sleeping.

I hate stress and worry.

Things at home are deteriorating the more I pack up. He's being aggressive over little things that I'm taking. I'm taking what's mine and only mine. He thinks I'm taking his stuff. I don't want his stuff.

ONE MORE WEEK. I think I can. I think I can.

I have wonderful supportive friends and family. Jakes can't wait for us to move. He wants to see me happy and he sees I haven't been. Love that kid!!!!

Dad took another header into the tub in the middle of the night. He scrapped himself up good and thinks he cracked a rib. OUCH. ESM and I are collecting bubble wrap for him. If you have any just laying around, I'll give you my address.

Guess I'll try to get some sleep. Morning will be here before I know it. G'nite all!

Sunday, December 15, 2013

The Concert

I've been working with my choir since September on the songs for our annual Holiday concert.  When we started in September, it was a little weird to be singing Christmas Carols and such, especially when the weather was still so warm.  We've been practicing phrases such as

 Jing, Jing, Jing, Jing-a-ling-a-ling.  and jing-a-ling-ling-a-ring-a-jing-jing

Try saying them fast and on key.  Every week, we would work in just those parts of the songs that had those phrases in them.  But it paid off.  I was able to sing most of that song without looking at my music.  I could watch the director, which he wanted!

Here are a couple of songs, thanks to Jakes in the audience recording.  Sorry for the shak-y camera action.

The Virgin Mary Had A Baby Boy

And Another One.....

Dong Dong Merrily on High
written for 4-hand piano
Our accompanists are FABULOUS!

The audience was a little sparse thanks to Old Man Winter pretending to bring snow to us.  There was no snow but lots of rain.  Hopefully the second concert will have many more people for us to entertain!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Its Going to be a Very Merry Christmas at My HOUSE!

Daddy got a good report yesterday from the Doctors!  The chemo is shrinking his cancer!  YES!  There is remarkable changes in the size of the tumors from the first scans done before chemo.

They are going to keep going with the treatments.  Although yesterdays was a reduced dose because some of his blood work indicated his body needs a little break.  As long as the blood work comes back normal at the next treatment day, they will go back to the original dose.

In the meantime, we are doing our happy dances and saying prayers of thanks!  

Its going to be a good Christmas at my house this year!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Its Time to Quit

As you might have noticed, I haven't written too much about things in my household.  Mainly because things between me and AZ haven't been going well at all.  Yes, there have been pockets of good, like date night to see Catching Fire.

In October, I was ready to leave and start life anew.  AZ talked me into staying, saying things could and would be different. And they were.  For about a week.  And then he went back to the Drs and got his prescriptions renewed.  He promptly started using again.

 For two weeks, I had the man I care about, then man I can talk to and enjoy hanging out with. Only for two weeks.  Then for Thanksgiving he was stoned on his medications, again.  The only reason he didn't face-plant in his food is because I kicked him under the table.

So, its time to leave.  I am not changing my mind, I am not going back on my word this time.  I am leaving and not looking back.  I have found a place and will be moving in after Christmas.

I will be starting a new life in the new year.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Crossing Fingers and Toes

Daddy had a scan on Friday to see what's going on inside him since beginning chemo.  He goes for Chemo on Tuesday and has a meeting with the Doctor to get the results of the test.

I have all my fingers and toes crossed and prayers are being said all over for good news from this scan.

Can you add yours to mine, please?  As always, the more the merrier!


Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Bathroom Redo

ESM decided it was time to repaint their bathroom.  She's never painted before.  Interesting!  So I of course offered to help her with the project.

She cleaned out the room, Daddy taped the areas, they got the paint and supplies and we got to work.

I started out with cutting in and then showed her how to roll the walls.
Rolling the second coat

ESM caught on quickly with the rolling.  She made sure all the areas were covered and smooth.  We did have to put a second coat on just to make sure it was all covered.

Daddy kept the couch company which is where he needed to be!

Jakes was over for the weekend but he didn't help.  The bathroom was barely big enough for me and ESM.

Jakes kept the dogs company which was a big help.  We didn't need any yellow noses!

ESM was going to put the bathroom back together on Sunday and she wants to paint a cabinet a purple color.  I can't wait to see it completed!  I'll share pictures later!

Monday, December 2, 2013

Counting my Blessings

I was going to put this post together last week but just didn't have time!  I was hosting Thanksgiving Dinner and had lots to cook and clean, in addition to work.  

We had a FEAST! ESM took pictures of the Turkey and as soon as she shares with me, I'll share with you.

I have so many things to be thankful for:

  • I have a home that is warm and cozy to come home to everyday.
  • I have a job that takes me out of my home everyday.
  • I have a wonderful son who is amazing and shows such love and attention to his grandfather.
  • I have a wonderful set of parents who will do anything in the world for me and who I would do anything in the world for them.
  • I have a wonderful farm where Jakes has learned so much more than therapeutic riding!  Jill is an amazing person who does wonderful things through her faith and hard work.
  • I have a wonderful group of friends who listen when I cry and worry.  
  • I have a cute and cuddly dog who brings me such comfort and joy.
  • I have wonderful co-wokers.  They make the days go by so quickly, with laughter and mostly joy.

These are just the tip of the iceberg of blessings in my life.  I have been taking the time recently to remember my blessings and give thanks for them.

I hope you have all had a wonderful, family filled, turkey filled Thanksgiving holiday.