Thursday, May 20, 2010

Online Dating - Freak Show Included!

Ok. I’m single and have been since my divorce. I have taken lots of time to heal myself and to hopefully figure out who I am. My divorce was hard on me then add into that having my son diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at the same time didn’t make it any easier. I was a walking zombie for many years.

But, I have had counseling for me and for Son. I have a good group of friends and family but I want more. I want someone to be my partner and to share our lives together. So I have started looking, in my neighborhood and online.

I live in a pretty rural county, lots of farms and farmers but not lots of single ones my age. So while keeping an eye out on the locals, I also created a profile online to see what’s out in the big beautiful world. I have gotten some flirting and started talking with someone via email. I setup a throw-away email to give out and was very careful about what personal information I shared with him.

My complaint is that at first the guy sounded pretty good. I loved his profile and we sounded quite compatible. Now, after a few emails, it’s getting weird. He was telling me about his family and where he grew up. But it was confusing. In one sentence he grew up in Portland, in the next he graduated from first and second schools in Mexico. He met his late wife in the Netherlands and his father just moved back to Nigeria where he used to live. See? WEIRD. So, since I think he is not a real person looking for a real relationship, I won’t be emailing with him anymore.

My problem: HOW do you know when it’s a real person and not some freak on the other end? I guess you don’t until you talk with them a bit. You just have to be VERY careful when putting yourself out there. I Promise to be careful!

And if anyone out there knows a good way to meet someone, let me know!    I'm open to ideas.....


  1. way uncharted territory for cousin met his wife online so i know it can happen...there are some scary people online though. i think i would start by determining what the qualities are of the man you are looking for. dont be afraid to get sons input as it will give him a sense of ownership...

  2. Well, just look at "A Nut In A Nutshell" & "Otin", they met online and they're gettin hitched! Oh the bloggy love connection!

    But seriously, I really don't know how you can tell. My mom met her soon to be husband online through a church dating website. I guess you just have to keep getting to know them online before ever think about meeting in real life.

    You are very intelligent and just like you did with this guy, I think you'll know who the bums are and who's not.

    Good luck!!!

  3. Ooh I can't imagine dating online ... sounds scary!! Though I know quite a lot of people with fairy tale endings as a result of it. I suppose you just have to trust your gut instincts about these guys and be so so very careful! Good luck! :)

  4. I know of a site called E-Pals, and actually I joined this site because of a girl that I met on there.
    I did meet a guy though, although we only e-mailed, I realised that he came with too much baggage that I could cope with.
    So, after writing to him for a year, and still no sign of us ever meeting up, I pulled the plug on it.
    I live in a very small place too, and single men are hard to come by too, but I'm not planning on staying around here too long. This place can run itself, and there is a big world out there!

  5. The main objective would be developing romantic or sexual relationship. It is a service which is not moderated .It can be done by the use of personal computers and cell phones .

    online dating

  6. wow,
    good luck!
    it could be dangerous!

  7. I was 49 when I met Joe. Luckily I had worked with him for 7 years, but he flew under my radar and I never paid any attention to him, since I had decided to NEVER let another man in my life.

    But what I'm getting at is this : before I even noticed him as dating material, I KNEW of him and what the other men said about him. It all sounded too good to be true, and I was more focused on the male "train wrecks" around me as they reinforced my determination to avoid men and die alone.

    So ONLINE is scary since there's no one to give you the 4-1-1 on him. Then again, the nice man you meet at the church social could be on the news that night for all kinds of weird things.

    My feelings are this: time is the only true test, whether in person or online.

  8. p.s. As for the wack-o that gave you SO much "information" that he was tripping over his own lies: when there's too much info, it's usually made up and quickly forgotten by the one telling the tale.

    Like Judge Judy says: if it doesn't make sense, it's not true.


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