I was clay in therapy tonight. We had a family session and I was told to be clay. I guess I was showing too much emotion and Vickie was afraid that would shut Son down. Oops!
Anyway, Son was telling Vickie about his last overnight visit with his father, complaining about Maddie and how they are getting along. Maddie is his father’s girlfriends granddaughter who is living there for a while. Son doesn’t like her and they don’t get along. He was describing some of the stuff that Maddie does that annoys him and it sounds like she is just an annoying little sister. Which Son is not used to dealing with of course. It also sounds as though Maddie can and does anything she wants and no one disciplines her. And no one is taking Son’s side in this situation.
Son’s father actually told him that if he couldn’t get along with Maddie that he can just stay the h*ll home. (This is when she made me clay) How nice! Instead of trying to parent and teach your children, let’s just avoid everything. At this point Son would love to stay home just so he didn’t get yelled at so much about the things going on between him and Maddie.
Son asked the therapist to call his father and talk to him about what’s going on and maybe give him tips about working with the 2 to get along better.
We had Son list some ways that he could get along better with Maddie. His ideas are mainly to stay away from her and ignore her, which are going to be extremely difficult for him to accomplish.
We moved on with the lesson at this point, with Son molding me and vice versa. We drew a picture together and that was the end of the session. On the walk out Son was way far ahead and I was chatting with Vickie. She asked me if I got what the secret was. I totally missed it. Apparently, Son told me the secret he was keeping because his father told him too. Crap! I need to be clay more and react less. HA. She won’t tell me what I missed because she pinkie swore with Son but if I guess she will confirm for me. I have gone over and over the conversation and I can’t come up with anything that would be worthy of needing to be kept a secret from me.
So since Son is with me for the next three weeks, we will be having family or individual sessions and I have until the end of July to work on my homework that I am avoiding. I have been working on why I want to avoid this so badly, though. That’s a little progress and probably another post.
This was LAST week's session. This week, Vickie saw him alone. She also has not made contact with Son's father about the Maddie situation, she hasn't tried, not that Son's father hasn't responded.
This was LAST week's session. This week, Vickie saw him alone. She also has not made contact with Son's father about the Maddie situation, she hasn't tried, not that Son's father hasn't responded.
smiles. good job staying maleable...and thanks for sharing the journey...not always easy...
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing. interesting idea of "clay" -- and i'm also wondering about the secret part. when the therapist talks about you reacting, it is any emotion, or certain ones? i'm only curious because sometimes i think certain emotions are lumped as okay, not okay (ie: dads can be angry and moms can't).
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