Friday, April 15, 2011

I Am Loved

Love is the lamp that lights the universe: without that light the earth is a barren promontory and man the quintessence of Dust. 
                                                              - Mary Elizabeth Braddon

Knowing you are loved makes like easier to handle. Childcare, car repairs, finishing your reports – its all easier when we know we are loved. We don’t feel as alone in a crowd if we know we are loved.

If you are a single parent, such as myself, its very easy to forget that you are loved. You may not have a partner in the adventure of life but there are so many other people who can remind you that you are loved. Loved by your parents, family, and friends, even when they don’t say it or show it.

Jakes and I have been in serious crisis for quite sometime now and it recently escalated. I have been very depressed, embarrassed, and frustrated by everything in my life. And feeling very unloved. I just wanted to crawl into bed and stay there for a very long time. I still feel that way, but not as badly.

I know that I am loved. Yesterday, Kimber reminded me how much she loves me. She called my local spa and ordered a massage for me. I’m going on Saturday. As I take a few minutes and look back over the last week, I now see loads of expressions of love toward me. From the comments on my blog posts to keep my head up to the massages waiting for me! I am extremely grateful to everyone’s kindness.

Kimber and Neicy top my list right now, Kimber for the massage, Neicy for helping her get the info to call! Both of you have also reminded me day in and day out that I am not a bad mother. Just a mother with a special needs child and a limited professional support system. I’m getting that support system now!

My Parents for just being there and offering their quiet support. Knowing that you are there when I need you is comforting.

HS in AZ for telling me that he admires at how I am dealing with all the crap I am dealing with. Just have some margaritas ready in May!  ;)

Annabelle from Don’t Make It Like I’m Dumb for just listening and pestering me. I appreciate it. I LOVE your colorful descriptions of A/H! Keep ‘em coming! And we need to get together for coffee and pie!

To Brian at WaysidestationOne for always commenting and offering positive thoughts. I appreciate them more than words can say! And you’d be my first pick for a therapist if logistically possible!

Even in the darkest of times, you have to remember that you are loved and the darkness will fade, even a little bit. Wherever we look, someone will find the day easier if he remembers he’s loved.


  1. you know i would do it...and this is a beautiful do need to keep in mind you are loved...and hopefully it gets better...going through a crisis with another fam right now and i keep reminding them of that...

  2. I know you KNOW but Jakes loves you too.

    He's a difficult kid, but everything Ive read about him points to the chemical imbalances and emotional fallout of having a douche nozzle for a father. In fact I would wager that his guilt from being so intolerable and out of control of his own actions makes him pretty darn frustrated too.

    You're kick ass awesome and though single, you're never alone in the world.


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