Thursday, November 19, 2009

Writers Workshop

I am participating in Mama's Losin' It: Writers Workshop. I chose Prompt #3, in 1000 words or less, describe a life changing event.  I am also cheating a little, as I am recycling an old post from my defunct blog.  Grab a tissue and settle in.

My life changed with the death of my mother and the almost simultaneous birth of Son.

I want to pay tribute to 2 people actually, my Mommy and my son. Mom first.

She was my best friend. Yes, we had our problems, but what mother / teenage daughter don't? In my senior year of high school, she was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. She had her first surgery and came home from the hospital in time to see me off on my prom. On my graduation day she had her first chemo. And was sick as a dog in the stands watching me do the walk.

Two weeks before my wedding she was diagnosed with it again. The Monday after my wedding, she started radiation. All this time she was in tremendous pain. She took massive amounts of pain meds and tried her best to soldier on. She certainly was a strong woman and I hope I have half of her strength.

May of 1998 I got pregnant, August of 1998 Mom got Hospice. So we knew the end was coming and lived every moment we could together. My pregnancy proceeded nicely except the Dr kept checking me via ultrasound. I don't remember why now but I have lots of pictures of Son before he was born. The Dr was talking about a C-section for me too. Mom said at one of the ultrasounds that it would be a shame if I didn't experience labor. Right, Mom. Knock me out and wake me when it’s over. Who wants to push a bowling ball out of THERE???

Because I was so busy with work and Mom and getting ready for the new baby, I never took the childbirth classes. I had NO clue what was supposed to happen!

Christmas came and we had a great one. It was pretty much the last that Mom was up and around. In January she became more bed ridden and on more pain meds. We all took turns saying our good-byes and waiting for her peace to come.

By this time, the Dr was happy with my pregnancy and decided that I would deliver naturally. I wasn't thinking about that, my mom was dying.

A couple of days later, Mom is finally at peace and we are at the funeral home. Well, every where I went, there was someone from the funeral home behind me. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, she was standing outside the door. I think she was worried about me possibly giving birth in this place of death. Maybe, it’s bad for business or something. Of course, all night I was having labor pains. Nothing too bad, I could stand and talk and act normal.

We went to the hospital that night and they sent me home. I wasn't ready to be there. So I get up the next morning and go to the funeral. The pains are starting to get worse. Nothing that I can't handle, YET. Someone with a big mouth told the reverend who was conducting the service that I was in labor, which she proceeded to announce to the entire gathering! Nice. All I want to do is hide, but where can a whale hide in a funeral home???

As we are getting into the cars to go to the graveside, everyone stops me and says I need to go to the hospital! Ok, people, I will get there. But the car was in the line to go to the cemetery. We had to go to the cemetery. Dad tries to get me to sit down in front but standing was much more comfortable. I think that was the first that he realized that I was in labor. The Poor Man was lost. I remember seeing Uncle Richard physically drag Dad away from the graveside.

So after the services, we got into the car, came home so I could change and get my bag. By the time we get over there, I am well on my way to bringing Son into the world! I start asking for Drugs. The hospital was swamped with other women who got there first. I don't care, where are my drugs???

This is where my tribute to my mom comes in. Because I took my time getting there (had to say goodbye and have closure) and because they were BUSY, I NEVER got my drugs!

Yes. Completely natural child birth for someone who wanted to be knocked out! Thanks to MOM, I got to experience NATURAL CHILD BIRTH!

At the time it was horrible! Of course, I don't remember much of it now, but the stories Son’s father told was like scenes from the Exorcist, where the head spins around and green puke fills the room.

Seriously, though, my tribute to Mom is that she showed me what I am made of, watching her live with the pain and disease and not letting it get the better of her until the very end. Because of Mom, I am a strong person who knows I can survive anything thrown at me.

And then, I was holding my son. My beautiful son, who looks like Mom and saved me and my dad when we were totally lost without Mom. My tribute to my son, my savior.


  1. This was a nice story. Sad and happy at the same time. Thanks for sharing.

  2. I know just how you feel...but I'm still looking for my happy-ever-after! Last Christmas I lost both of my parents, then soon after my sister and my brother. Four years ago I became a widow, at the age of 26. I have no children, and now no family, so this is coming up to a really bad time of year for me. But, I try to get on with my life as best as I can, and although people on here can be really cruel at times, I have made many great friends! That's why I started to blog. Not that I was looking for sympathy, because I never told anyone much about myself until recently, and even now, not very many people know my full life story.
    I am still very wary of what I tell people though, and a lot of things come through in my poetry.
    Thank you for sharing your story. Many people will identify with it.
    Big hugs.

  3. Wow what a great post! I needed tissues for that one!

  4. Wow Ames, I remember hearing that your mom had cancer and said many prayers for her and you at the time since I knew you from dating our son. I had no idea what you went through or that you had a baby at that time. I remember hearing you had a little baby boy but didn't put two and two together. Thanks for sharing that with me and others who need that this time of year. I am so happy that you are back in my life again even if it is due to you being such friends with our daughter now and not dating our son. This works too. LOL (((Hugs)))

  5. You were right about the tissues. That is a really beautiful life story. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Well written tribute, Amy! Life stories can be the best because of how they ring with truth and personal emotion. Nicely done, here.

    Marvin D Wilson


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