Thursday, February 18, 2010

Dear Asperger's Syndrome

Dear Asperger’s Syndrome,

Long ago, I came to the realization and acceptance that you were going to be a part of our lives. A big part. However, we learned to live with you, learned how to work through the struggles, and we succeeded! Things have been happy and peaceful. Things are being done, life is being enjoyed.

Why is it that you feel the need to make waves now? We were happy with the compromises we have made. Now everything is a daily struggle. And let me tell you, I am tired of the struggles. Tired of the arguments, the nagging, the incomplete tasks and assignments.

I am going to ask you nicely to please return to your former self. Let us get back into our routines and comfort zones. If you refuse to do this on your own, I will be forced to get reinforcements.

Remember, I have been there, done this before and back then, I wasn’t as mentally capable as I am now. I know whom to turn to for help; I know where to find help. And I will DO it.

So this is your one and only warning. Behave yourself.  Or ELSE!


UPDATE:  After reading this article and the comments left by people about changing the classification of Aspergers Syndrome to just Autism, I am ashamed of my above whining.  There are people in the comments who have NO clue about what services are available or where to even look.  Here is a quote that hit home for me:

"How am I supposed to have any hope that he will reach his full potential if his delays aren’t considered ’severe’ enough to get services yet he is clearly not functioning where he should be in comparison to same aged-peers. "

I am very fortunate that I have access to wonderful services locally.  Hell, I even had access to wonderful services that weren't local.  Son and I are very fortunate.  And I will continue to work my butt off to make sure I am not the mother in the above quote.  I will ALWAYS find a way to get the services for Son that he needs.  I will ALWAYS have hope that Son will reach his full potential.

I promise this to my Son.


  1. working in the field, it kills me sometimes the kids that they reject for services. i have to deal with that all too often.

    as fara as the comments...we all have those moments of weakness when we wish for things to be normal. i am glad you have the outlet...

  2. You're a hell of a mom to fight like that!

    I don't think you need to apologize for your whining. I think it's natural to want life to stop handing us waves no matter what it is in relation to! Finances, illness, etc.

  3. I'm sure you shouldn't be berating yourself for whining. I whine, moms of kids without IEPs whine, hell, even parents of those near-perfect Stepford kids whine. It's human. And you sound like a hell of a mom; and by writing this blog you're letting other people know what services should be available.

  4. You are a great mom who does amazing things to advocate for her son. I really admire you for that.

  5. Girl, you have every right to write that letter. There's always going to be someone out there who has it worse then you but that doesn't mean you can't ever feel frustrated with your own difficulties. And it doesn't mean that what you are going through isn't hard.

    Because it is.

    Write all the letters you want!

  6. You go girl, FIGHT for your kid! I can only imagine in awe and respect what kind of a struggle it is to deal with this kind of challenge in a family. The closest my wife and I came to any kind of severe challenge was with our son, who is a right brained, creative artist type thinker and also he was quite hyperactive as a kid. The school said he had ADD and wanted to put him on Ritalin. No way, we said, they just didn't know how to each a kid like him and hold his interest. So we forked over $6k a year to put him in a Rudolph Steiner middle school where he flourished ... withOUT any drugs.

    Marvin d Wilson

  7. Very nice post, truly touching -- and is not whining, you are more than entitled, and keep up the fight!


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