Thursday, October 28, 2010

The One That's Been Banging Around in My Head & I Finally Let It Out

I am interrupting my 30 Days of Truth to share this with you. Its been banging about in my head for a few days and I decided to let it out.

I follow lots of bloggers and I think of each and every one of you as friends. I follow writers such as Brian from Waystationone – who is an AWESOME writer. Give him a topic and ask for poetry or story and he will give it to you, sometimes in 55 words or less. There is Marv at the Old Silly Free Spirit Blog, another awesome writer. You should stop over and see him and his blog hopping book tour. Fabulousness!

I follow mommy bloggers such as Blogging Mama who writes about raising kids and baseball from the mid-west. There is Amber from Airing My Dirty Laundry – One Sock at a Time; she puts the funniest spins on daily living with two kids, one who is Aspergers with a touch of ADHD – AND her husband is stationed in Korea for a year.

I read some humor bloggers such as Barefoot Foodie who is planning to say I (Still) Do in December and invited all her followers to follow her to Vegas! In my list of must  reads is Sincerely Jenni.  She writes about her life as a mom and all that encompasses.  She is the blogger who turned my onto the 30 Days of Truth.

Another category of blogs that I follow are ones about experiences with raising kids on the Autism spectrum. With Jakes being on the spectrum, I need all the help I can get with raising him. I have followed Teen Autism for a while now. Tonya has lots of good links and info for raising our AS kids.

My most recent addition to my blog family is Lynn from My Life as an Ungraceful, Unhinged, and Unwilling Draftee into the Autism Army. Her post on the Anniversary of Diagnosis really touched me. By the end of the post, I was crying, for her and her grief and for me, in my exhaustion of fighting this war to get the best of everything for my Jakes.

I have been in this war for about 5 years now. Plenty of time to have dealt with the grief process and accept the diagnosis. And long enough to have battle fatigue. With all the problems and stress I have been under with Jakes behaviors of late, I have been extremely tired and patience-less in dealing with most everything in my life.

Lynn’s post reminded me that this war is not about ME. Its about getting the best of whatever our kids need to function in this world. My Thought for the Day email reminded me also.

“Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. – Satchel Paige”

Children make us aware of how tired they are by sitting down and crying. As adults we don’t have that luxury. We have to be grow-ups, responsible. Instead of sitting down and crying about it, we need to find another way. We need to learn how to ask for help. Help with the problem or with daily chores if necessary. We just have to ask.

I have been doing a lot of sitting down and crying like a child. I have a child who needs ME to be responsible, to fight for HIM, to ensure he has everything he needs to function in the world.

While I have been crying like a child, I HAVE been asking for help. We have been seeing a therapist, who has not been helping enough. Unfortunately, instead of recognizing this, I sat and cried when I should have been asking for help. Actually, maybe I was asking for help of the therapist and she wasn’t listening. It doesn’t matter. After our world crashed, I asked for help from others. People who have helped in the past. People who I have high hopes to help us again.

In the future, I will try to recognize when I need to ask for help, even if I have to change who I am asking. But I will never give up and cry. I will hold my head up high and dig deep for the strength to fight for what Jakes needs.

Lynn, Thanks! I needed that!


  1. smiles. i have a hard time asking for help as well...i am glad you are getting the help you need and fighting for him...we need more parnets like that...thanks for the shout out as well. i appreciate you.

  2. speak truth and I need to hear that. Asking for help is NOT EASY! Asking for help is PAINFUL! Being a parent of a child with disabilities can be SO VERY LONELY!!!! I struggle with PRIDE issues as my son constantly does things that embarrass me and surprise me and I have always thought I should be able to CONTROL these things. I am in the mental health arena...shouldn't I be able to handle this? BOTTOM LINE is...I need help!!!

    Good post. Thanks.

    I am going to check out some of the blogs you listed that I have not visited! ;)

  3. Dear golly, did you just say I was from the mid-west? Bite Your Tongue.


    Thor goes for an official full testing autism panel at the children hospital in Cincinnati on Wednesday. All we have no is our previous ped looking for a few minutes and declaring him aspergers. I want the full test so we can know how and what t do but it's still scary because I think there's more than just the one thing going on. I'm coming up on one year of knowing and I still struggle too.

    Hugs and positive thoughts. Having you to look to for advice has been a blessing to me because I don't know anyone else who gets what this is like.

  4. Amy,

    Blog land does offer a wide variety of writers, and the ones you mentioned are excellent. I feel sure that your support to them, is greatly treasured.

    I am truly blessed to have 2 beautiful and healthy children (18 & 26) and I can only imagine the day-to-day struggles you face each day. Even though you are an adult, you can still cry and break-down, that's how you turn the page.

    I hope you always find a warm smile, and strong arms for hugs and support when you need it most.
    And that is what I offer to you,

    warm smiles and hugs,

  5. Asking for help can be so very hard. Good for you for reaching even further out and asking for what you need. I believe the universe will send it to you, if you ask.

    I offer my shoulder, my ear, my smart ass comments - they are yours for the taking.

  6. Amy, I'm flattered that you think I was your inspiration, but you know that this is all YOU. You clearly have all of the strength and will that you need within you. I'm so honored to have this attributed to me and my little blog! Asking for help is not in my nature either (is it in anyone's?) but it takes guts to reach out and admit that you need support. You just made me love our little corner of the blogosphere so much more this I sit here wiping puke out of my hair from my sick child. You made my day! I'm going to definitely check out the other bloggers you mention as well. Thanks!

  7. I'm gonna argue your point just a little bit. While it's definitely our priority to make sure our children are taken care of to the best of our abilities, it's also about us. If we don't take care of ourselves, we are no good to our children.

  8. It's good you have found others in the blogosphere that have kids with autism and you can support each other. It is okay to sit down and cry every once in a while, though. It recharges the batteries.

  9. You are right our children and in my case grandson too are first but Blue Violet is right too we have to take time for just us!! So take care of you too!! Prayers and hugs!!

  10. Love you!
    Thanks for the shout out.
    Take care of yourself, you owe it to yourself. (And to your kids).

    Warm hugs!

    Betty xx


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