Monday, October 18, 2010

The Truth and Nothing But The Truth - Day 1

For the next 30 days, I am going to write the complete and utter truth about myself.  Here is day 1

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

There are lots of things that I dislike about myself such as my weight, my couch potato practices but all these things are things I can change if I really wanted to. I am working on these things, I am on a diet (and HUNGRY!) and I have been going out more when Son is at his fathers.

What I really hate about myself is that I beat myself up for things, big and small. My marriage failed, I beat myself up. Even though I KNOW that I did everything I possibly could to make it work, I still beat myself up over being a failure.

Jakes and I are having problems, I beat myself up for not being able to be a perfect parent and handle this.

I write what I consider an AWESOME grant and we don’t get the money, I beat myself up, wondering what else I could have done better.

When a friend offers a fun time, I do the “safe” thing instead of the fun thing, I beat myself up.

I have MANY examples of beating myself up but I think you get the point. I have been this way all my adult life. In a way its good because I strive to be the best I can be so I don’t have to kick myself up later. I worked hard to make my marriage work, I am in therapy times 3 with Jakes to try and make that work, and I write some MEAN grants and organize them to the best of my ability.


  1. yeah, stop doing that. you do much well.

  2. Sometimes you do everything right and it doesn't work because it just wasn't meant to be. Stop beating yourself up.

  3. There's not a one of us who doesn't do this from time to time, and all of us including you should cut it out!

  4. I have a clinical problem with self blame, self hate, etc. I always Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda myself...

  5. Just be you and stop beating your self up!! You are doing a great job of being a good mom!!

  6. What a great idea -- 30 days of truth. And this one I relate to BIG time, although I'm getting better the older I get. Maybe you will too.

  7. You're awesome.
    All of us do this. But all of us should stop doing this...after all.

    Big hugs!

    B xoxo

  8. I'm a single moms of 2 and I find your site very interesting. I hope I have much time each day to drop by and check your site for recent post.

  9. I kick the crap out of myself too. We shouldn't do that. We're ok. Really we are.


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