Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Hurts Do Heal

I love the Thoughts of the Day that I get in my email at work.  There are days when just the right thought comes in.  This one came in a couple of weeks ago, I printed it and taped it to my printer as a reminder.

Time has a way of marching on and taking away bad feelings and softening the bad memories.  Whatever has been real and meaningful tends to remain with us - the rest gradually fades away.

I know this is true for many things in my life.  I have shared the story of Jakes birth - the talk of C-section; Mom feeling bad that I might not "experience labor"; labor starting at Mom's viewing; leaving the graveyard to go to the hospital; the COMPLETELY natural child birth experience.  I remember the details leading up the the hospital but not much after that.  I mean I remember certain parts of the delivery, holding him in my arms and all that.  I remember there was pain but its just a fague memory 11 years later.

The same happens with emotional pain.  My divorce was emotionally traumatic  for me.  Overtime, some of the pain has dimmed.  Some of it is brought back to the surface when my ex is stupid.  I can only hope that all of the pain diminishes as time goes by.  And I can't let it be painful forever.  I WON'T let it.

The situation with Jakes and his behaviors has been another painful time.  But I know that once we are settled in what ever treatment we are meant to be in, time will help to fade this to a distant memory as well.

I cannot allow myself to dwell on my wounds otherwise I won't move forward with my life.  By not dwelling on them, I will heal quickly.  There is no room in my life for self pity.

In the meantime, I will remember that what hurts today will pass in time.  I can speed its departure by refusing to indulge in self-pity.


  1. An excellent life leason to be reminded of - thank you.

    btw, I had no idea that you lost your mom at the same time you had your son. I can not imagine going through both of these experiences at exactly the same moment.

    You are a Super Woman, you know that right?

  2. true you had a rough time all at once...ugh. but you made it right?

  3. Hang in there - things will get better! (I'm WAY behind in blog reading & I'm sorry to hear things have been sucky)

  4. I commend your resolve - it's so hard to get past the pain of divorce. *hugs*


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