Monday, January 24, 2011

Dearest Momma

Dearest Momma,

I can't believe its been 12 years since you found your peace.  Where does the time go?  I know you are keeping an eye on us and I hope I am making you proud.  So much has happened this year, so much to share with you.

This year has not been the easiest for me in a long time.  I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now and I know I will be able to survive this storm.

I know that family meant the world to you and you did everything in your power to keep it together.  I am ashamed to say that I apparently don't have that same feeling of family.  Maybe its the Gerwitz in me. 

Brother seems to have cut himself off from us.  Dad calls and he doesn't respond.  We don't even know if he is still living in the same place anymore.  I just hope that he is okay with his decision to cut himself off from us.  I hate how hurt Dad is by Brothers actions. 

I also have not kept in contact with your sisters and brother.  One does get tired of negativity and put downs, you know?

Jakes is growing like a weed!  He's almost as tall as me and when I stand next to him, I feel short.  I don't know how to go about talking with him about puberty.  And until recently, I don't think he would listen.  I will find a way, momma.

Dad's busy being stubborn about his health. Like we'd expect anything else from him?  Renie does her best to keep him in line but he makes it difficult at times.  You know Dad.  :)

There are two things I want to thank you for since you left us.

Thank you for watching over me in my search for help for Jacob and me.  Several times in the last few years, you have shown me wonderful people to help me and us together.  Those are the times I feel your presence the strongest.

Also, I wanted to thank you for wishing a child like myself on ME!  I'm extremely grateful you didn't wish TWINS on me!  Just so you know, your wish came true.  Jakes is SO like I was as a child, only worse in some ways.

I love and miss you everyday, mommy.  So many times I wish you could wrap your arms around me and make it all better.  You did that so well when I was growing up.

Your Loving Daughter,



  1. That is very sweet, but I have a feeling she has been watching you from where she is, and I also think she likes what she sees.

  2. Beautiful letter to your mom! I wish mine were here too!

  3. SO sweet Amy. I don't know if I knew that Jakes was born just a couple days after your mom's death. I see HIM in HER face! They DO look alike don't they!?


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