Why does leaving have to be so hard? Why am I so conflicted about leaving? I need a tissue. Or several!
I let down my walls this week. Walls that I've had up for a very long time. I know he struggled to keep his walls up too. I hope he was more successful so he's not feeling as crappy as I do right now.
See we have a history. One that goes WAY back. I'm not going to say how far because I'm not that old, really. I broke his heart so long ago (I'm a b*tch) and it's taken us many years to come back together.
Are we destined to have a second chance at happiness? It doesn't look like it right now. Families, careers, illness and distance are keeping us apart at this time. Neither of us is able or willing to make the huge sacrifice to be together. We are both putting others and careers ahead of a chance at happiness together.
When I left, it seemed the right decision. But now with the ache in my chest and the tears falling I have to wonder if its the wrong decision.