Thursday, March 14, 2013

Let's Talk Ex's

Yes, this has the potential to be an exciting topic!  So many people these days have ex wives or husbands, some have both! lol 

I can't use my relationship with my ex as an example because of the past abuse and the ignorance of my ex.  I know that we should be able to communicate about Jakes at the very least, but for some reason my ex is STILL angry with me over the divorce.  It doesn't matter that he was the one cheating and wanted out, he's still blaming me for everything.  It doesn't matter that he's re-married and moved on, he's still angry with me.  He won't even work with me to co-parent Jakes, which is a shame because there are times when Jakes still needs the both of us to be on the same page.

SO!  I turn to you for information about what may be considered "acceptable" in dealing with an ex.  Let me give you some background on where this is coming from.

AZ's ex lives nearby, doesn't have a car, job or custody of their kid.  Yet, she is always calling AZ to take her places, loan her money, give her food for the kid to eat when he stays over there and is just generally a pain in the a$$ about using AZ.  It usually pisses AZ off and there are days that he ignores her, which isn't easy when she blows up the phone 10-15 times an hour, then she switches to another phone when she realizes he's screening her calls.  To AZ sometimes its just easier to give her what she wants so she just goes away. Until the next time.

I hate it.  I LOATHE when she calls and its not about JR. I know that they have JR together and they should communicate about him and work together to co-parent.  I have made it QUITE clear to AZ how much I hate when he runs her all over the place.

The last time, he made plans to take her to the grocery store, just to give her a ride, but he wasn't going to sit in the truck.  They were going to walk the aisles together.  Really?  When he got home that day, I told him we needed to go to the store; that's when he told me about giving her a ride.  I flat out said, I am NOT going shopping with your Ex.  EVER.

So he postponed her.  She called while we were in the store to see where he was.  He was planning to take her AFTER we were done.  I was LIVID!  And he didn't understand why.  REALLY?

So, my question to you, am I being unreasonable?  Should I be more charitable toward her since she doesn't have a job, car or the kid and not be so pissed off about him driving her all over the county?  What's your relationship with an ex?


  1. ex here...i think that having a relationship is ok..but you have to set boundaries as well...dont want to create a codependant relationship you know..what did she do when he was not living in town? i assume this is a development since his return?

  2. No, that wouldn't fly with me at all. At all.

  3. Honey, please. Hell no you are not being unreasonable. And I'll tell you why - because AZ is not pulling his fair share in the home you keep together, therefor any - ANY - time spent contributing to some one else's household is bull shit.

    Yeah. I said it.

  4. It wouldn't be okay with me. Ever. If she's not responsible enough to get a job and take of herself, there's no way on earth he should be doing it. Kid or no kid. I might feel different if she had custody but she doesn't.

  5. asked, I will share. I have no EX but think that she needs to find someone else to give her rides, etc. A civil relationship regarding their son? Yes, of course! But trip to the grocery and other places? Nope.


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