Thursday, June 16, 2011

Life with Jakes

Life with Jakes has improved recently.  There have been so many changes to things in the house that I cannot and will not attempt to pinpoint what has caused the improvements. There are improvements and I am not going to question WHAT exactly is helping the improvements, I'm just going to take them as they come.

As I've said before, Jakes and I were in crisis mode for a long time.  Fighting and arguing and no peace in the house.  After trying everything I knew, we were referred to Family Stabilization.  With the Family Stabilization program, we were afforded Case Management and In-home therapy.

After meeting with Albert and getting the therapy started, we were also given a Behavioral Analyst (BA) who is working closely with Jakes on certain issues.  This is in-home as well.  With Albert, Jakes has been doing the homework and Albert is very pleased with how Jakes is doing the homework.  Whenever the weather is cooperative, they walk up the street and talk.  Albert says that Jakes talks more when they are walking.  Albert is teaching Jakes how to not argue with people, taking ownership of his behaviors and getting along with his peers.

John is the BA.  He comes on Sunday evenings and helps with Jakes transition from his dad's into the coming week.  John is also working with Jakes to get back into chores around the house, ownership of his behaviors, and getting along with his peers.

In addition to working with Jakes, they are giving me lots of parenting tips and I am still seeing Val for myself.  My homework from her is to read the book "Scream Free Parenting."  I'm working on it and have gotten tips from that as well.  I have started depression medication and am feeling better with that. 

I never told JF (Jakes Father) about all the stuff going on, the family stabilization etc. but Jakes did. So JF sent me threatening text messages and emails over that weekend.  He didn't make any direct threats to harm me but it was clear that he was threatening me in order to control my responses.  He even suggested that Jakes live with him after school was out. hahahahahahahahahahaha

So I did just what he does when I need something from him.  I ignored his messages.  Well, first I said "go f*ck yourself" to the phone.  Not to HIM, just the phone.  Then I went about trying to enjoy my weekend. On Monday, I called the case manager and asked her to call him.

It took him over a week to get back to her and get the information from her.  She continued to get in contact with him but he never answered or returned her calls.  Nice huh?  Since he has talked with her, I haven't heard from him about this situation nor have I heard anything more from him about Jakes living with him.

Albert really wants to talk with him and make sure he is included in the family therapies.  How can Albert say that he is doing family therapy if he hasn't talked with all the family?  So we sent a text message to JF asking for a meeting.  No response from JF, of course.  And he seems to have stopped talking to Jakes about living with him.  Good.

We have until the middle of July with the in-home therapy, then we will transition to office based to continue the improvements. In the meantime, we have an appointment with the pediatric neurologist in a couple of weeks and they might be recommending a change in Jakes meds.  But that's one of the reasons why the therapists are sticking around into July; to make sure we can transition successfully through that.

Jakes has been very loving lately.  Wanting hugs and kisses from me.  And following directions, making dinner, doing his chores.  There is still some lying going on and he is not doing very well in school.  But school is out and we'll just start fresh in September there.

Along with all this and the therapies, life is getting better.


  1. You are SO strong. I mean really and truly amazing. I'd fall apart without a supportive partner and I don't have a tenth of the stuff you do.

    I'm so so so happy that youve found such a great resource that does seem to be working.

    And JF is JF. All bitch and moan.

  2. I love the fact that the support is there for you. Not from the JA/JF but from the others. Stay strong and keep the chin up.

    You are the bomb.

  3. smiles. i am so glad this is working out good for you guys...and that you are getting the support you need and you are working will keep getting better...wish all my cli8ents were as willing...

  4. Lovely to see that things are improving. You knew they would but having it actually happen is just like...ahhhhh, relief.

    So Jizzhead Fucktard is still just that huh? Well, water is wet, the sun rises in the east, etc., etc.

  5. You are awesome!! So glad things are getting better.

  6. Glad things are better and sorry your ex has to be such a butt head.
    Stay the Course, good always prevails!

  7. I really am so very happy for you!! You should be very proud of yourself for getting help for you and your son!!


Leave me some seeds