Let put this out here right at the beginning. I LOVE, LOVE my family. Even the ones that get on my nerves, I still love them.
Ok. For the past 3 years I have lived in the same house as my parents. Not WITH my parents cause we each have our own apartments. There were adjustments to be made for me to go back to living so close to my parents and to living in an apartment. But after the divorce, I needed my parents and the unconditional love and support they gave to me and Jakes. And the VIEW is Fabulous!
|From my Front Porch|
Not only do I have my parents right there but our neighbor Kathy is part of the family. This makes for three parent-figures for me and three grandparents for Jakes. Lots of love. Lots of hovering. From both sides, me and them. Over the weekend, Kathy got up later then usual and we all noticed. We didn't go in and check on her as she did materialize but we were prepared to check on her if necessary. If Dad isn't feeling well, everyone knows and does what we can to help him out, if he'll let us. Its a great neighborhood with people who care about each other.
Dad, ESM and Kathy go out for lunch and dinners or they eat together at home. When Dad and ESM go away, I would step in to take Kathy out for meals. I didn't usually have much else going on in my life and it was a treat to not have to cook for a few days.
Now, I have AZ back in my life.
|AZ and I at his Junior Prom|
We were SO young and in love!
And my life is going in a different direction. I don't want to spend as much time with my parents. I don't want to be tied to the Compound, taking care of Kathy when Dad and ESM go camping. I want to be able to go away on weekends with AZ and our boys. Its hard enough to schedule our weekends around the boys and their schedules, I don't want to feel guilty for not taking Kathy into the equation.
I have to find a way to let my family, who I love more than just about anything, that I need my space. That I need that space to see where my life as it is now, will take me. I KNOW they only want whats best for me. I know that they are willing to welcome AZ and his son into the mix. Its ME wanting the space and the ability to live my life without feeling like I have to check in with my family.
I don't want to feel guilty for moving on with my life after everything they have done for me over the years. The love, the shoulders to cry on, listening to me complain about JF and Jakes' problems, the fun stuff, the bad stuff.
I don't want to leave them completely, I'd NEVER leave my family. Not after all they have done for me over the years.
So yes, I think there is such a thing as too close. But there has to be a balance. And that balance just has to be found.