The Graduate

Its hard to believe that this little baby



One of my favorite pictures of my baby Jakes



 

Willl be graduating from 8th grade today!

I will share pictures of the graduate next week!

Meeting

Tomorrow is the IEP meeting at Jakes new school.  They have done their evaluations and sent me the info on what they are recommending for him.  They also have been following the old school's IEP until this meeting.

I am thrilled with the testing results.  Jakes is doing very well in the new school.  I am a little worried that they want to allow him to use a calculator for math.  Ok, so he tested low in addition and subtraction but isn't using the calculator just going to hinder him further?  Shouldn't they work with him to improve his skills, not give him a crutch that will make things easier for the teacher?

I am tempted to send an email to JF and let him know what I will want addressed tomorrow. I would like to think JF and I could present a united front where we both have the best interest of the child in mind.  But in my past dealing with JF, I'll be labeled as the hysterical mother and he'll be the GOD.  Not to mention he thinks because he has residential custody of Jakes, he is in charge and holds all the power.  He just has no clue, as usual!

But since I've sat through these meetings many times before, I have confidence that everything will be fine.  If I have the chance to make JF look like the ass he is, you know I'll be taking it!

Son's Goal

Son has been having difficulty with his Aid recently.  Well, not really recently, more like ALL school year.  He is very disrespectful to her and I don't know what to do about it. 

At every IEP meeting with every new child study team, I expressed that I would like to see Son taught the skills he needs to cope with daily school life without an Aid by high school.  And since he is in 5th grade, I felt that a reasonable goal.

In his last IEP meeting we discussed working toward cutting the Aid to half time with him.  There seemed to be only certain times of the day (as well as every other Monday) that he needs the extra support.  His teacher seemed to think that as long as the class size stayed where it was, that she and Son could handle things without the Aid.  Btu there were skills that he needs to learn and practice in order for the Aid to be cut back and eventually weaned out completely.

This week, I have received not one but TWO emails as well as write ups on his behavior paper about his attitude towards the Aid.  I have told him in the past that this behavior is UNACCEPTABLE and we discussed and practiced ways that he can do better with her.  It seems to me that there is something about her that just irritates Son and makes him snap.  He can never seem to tell me what goes on and why he is mean to her.

So this week, when I got the first email from the teacher about his mouth, we talked.  I explained to him what I see as my role in his education plan.  I am his advocate to make sure he gets all that he needs to get through school as best he can.  I asked him if he wanted the Aid.  He said he didn't want her to go to 6th grade with him.  I told him that there are things that HE needs to do in order to be without an aid and that I would work with the teachers and the Aid to figure out what everything is and how we can help him to learn those things.

I was SO proud when Son said he didn't want the Aid to go to 6th grade!  This is the first goal he has set for himself during all this.  And now that he has a goal, I want to do everything necessary to ensure that he gets to meet that goal.

For now, I have a meeting with the Aid on Monday to find out what she does to help him through the day as well as to find out details of WHEN Son is mean to her.  I want to see if there is a pattern to his attitude.

I also have a meeting with the behavioral specialist at the Autism Center (which keeps getting postponed due to snow!) where I will discuss ways to help Son with his attitude.

Friday Lesson and Bragging

THIS IS A LONG POST!!

My son has Aspergers Syndrome, which is a form of Autism. I have known about this since 2006 and have done everything I could to help him. Weekly therapy appointments, specialized services in school, even planning selling my house and not moving until it was a good time for him. His father on the other hand, doesn't believe in the diagnosis and doesn't apply any of the interventions that help him. Here is some info on Aspergers Syndrome (AS) and some of Son's symptoms:

Characteristics of Asperger Syndrome:
Each person is different. An individual might have all or only some of the described behaviors to have a diagnosis of AS.

These behaviors include the following:

• Marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as: eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction.
• Extreme difficulty in developing age-appropriate peer relationships. (e.g. AS children may be more comfortable with adults than with other children).

Son doesn't have a "best" friend but he does play with kids in the neighborhood pretty well. They are younger than him. If you get him with his classmates, things don't go as well. But the school is working on this with him.

• Inflexible adherence to routines and perseveration.

Son is getting better with changing the schedule around but it used to be that I could not change ANYTHING without him loosing it. He just could not change things in his mind and feel secure with things.

• Fascination with maps, globes, and routes.

When he was 2, he would give me directions to the babysitters every morning. I thought it was cute that he could do that. He also loved the map of the US that was in his room. He spent hours staring at it and memorizing it.

• Superior rote memory.

He can recite almost anything back to you. AND he can remember details of almost every outing we have been on. SCARY!

• Preoccupation with a particular subject to the exclusion of all others. Amasses many related facts.

AS kids seem to have a particular fascination with trains, cars and making lines of things. Son has been in love with trains since he was tiny and still is. He loves Thomas but is getting away from that a bit. He loves the big trains and can give you details about how they are different from each other and how to drive them. He also has every Matchbox and Hot Wheels car ever made and loves to line them up all over the house.

• Difficulty judging personal space, motor clumsiness.

Son was always too close to people and definitely will not be a ballerina. :) He is getting better about judging the personal space and no longer has a special gym class to help with his clumsiness.

• Sensitivity to the environment, loud noises, clothing and food textures, and odors.

This is a big one. Son doesn't mind the fire engine sirens but when the nuclear siren would do their test, he would FREAK. I used to think it was because of his ear problems but apparently its from AS. He will not wear jeans, prefers elastic pants or sweats. His food cannot be too hot or too cold and NO GREEN! And it cannot be to hard to chew. This is the most frustrating for me because I want him to eat well and because I LOVE food and know what wonderful things he is missing out on!

• Speech and language skills impaired in the area of semantics, pragmatics, and prosody (volume, intonation, inflection, and rhythm).

Son is LOUD. The teachers at school think its because of his ear problems but I disagree. When his ears are normal, he is still loud. He also tends to talk fairly monotone, this has gotten better and he is learning to put feeling into his stories.

• Difficulty understanding others' feelings.

Son had NO empathy for anyone or anything. One of the goals for his therapy was to teach him empathy. Now, there are times that I think he is too sensitive. But at least he is considering other peoples feelings.

• Pedantic, formal style of speaking; often called "little professor," verbose.

Again, he uses BIG words (I thought it was because I didn't talk "baby" to him) and enjoys lecturing people on his favorite subjects.

• Extreme difficulty reading and/or interpreting social cues.

Son still has difficulty with this. There are times when he will burst out laughing when it is TOTALLY inappropriate. This will take time for him to learn and with all the different situations that could happen, may never be perfect.

• Socially and emotionally inappropriate responses.

Son has trouble with this. He still has meltdowns over little things. But he is working on this as well.

• Literal interpretation of language. difficulty comprehending implied meanings.

Son still has trouble recognizing sarcasm. And I like sarcasm so he gets a workout with me!

• Extensive vocabulary. Reading commences at an early age (hyperlexia).

Son didn't start reading at an early age but he does have a good vocabulary, thanks to Mom!

• Stereotyped or repetitive motor mannerisms.

Thankfully, he doesn't have any of theses that I have recognized.

• Difficulty with "give and take" of conversation.

He definitely monopolizes the conversations and interrupts with his own thoughts. We are working on this.

So the reason for this lesson on AS and my son? Next week I have a meeting with the child study team to determine his services for the remainder of the school year. I was reviewing the current plan as well as the website http://www.aspennj.org/index.asp for ideas of interventions that might benefit him.

Also, I wanted to brag about him. I received a WONDERFUL email yesterday from one of his teachers and wanted to share. The AS lesson was background to try and help you to realize that I am not only PROUD of my child, I am floating on a cloud because of the words from the teacher. Email:

Hi Amy,

I wanted to let you know that Jacob's behavior this year has been outstanding!!! He is polite, well mannered, and has an excellent attitude. He has been completing all work when asked. It is amazing how much he has improved since he started in 4th grade last fall!

Tammy

My son may have a disability but he is willing to work on his problems to fit in and succeed! His disability doesn't stop him from doing much and when it does, we work together to find a way to work around that.