She's a Butterfly

The end of the year is typically when people take a look back at the year just past to reminisce, review old goals, and to make new goals and resolutions for the coming year. That’s just what I spent this evening doing.

I’ve had a busy year, one with ups and downs, I have had my struggles with Jakes and his father, I’ve had worries over my job, my father and money. I have had to learn about a new illness with Jakes, surgery for Jakes, and his schooling. I have struggled with the hardest decision of MY LIFE, what to do about Jakes.

I have had many good things happen in my life this year. I’ve solidified my friendship with AZ, traveled twice to visit with him. We spent time together exploring his corner of the country and we’ll make a cross country trip in the spring to bring him home.

I have spent many wonderful hours visiting with my parents and other members of The Compound, who I am forever grateful to have in my life.

I have wonderful friends who have listened to me whine and cry over my life, friends who I hold close in my heart and would give anything for. I have held friends hands through break-ups, loss of loved ones and marriages.

When I went back to my 2011 New Years post, I found that I didn’t make any specific resolutions. I just wanted to find peace in my home, which I did. I know that I did the right thing for Jakes. He is doing well in school and at his dad’s. He and I are getting along better one on one. I have peace in my home.

For this New Year of 2012, I want to keep this peace in my home while at the same time expanding my horizons. I want to learn more about ME as a person. I know that I am a wonderful mother and daughter. This year will be about finding who I am and being more comfortable with me, myself, and I.

I want to find my wings. I want to see the colors of my wings as I learn to fly. I want to love my life and for everyone to know it. I have the strength to fly and my wings will never touch the ground.

She’s a Butterfly

Martina McBride

She remembers when she first got her wings

And how she opened up that day

she learned to sing

Then the colors came, erased the

 black and white

And her whole world changed

when she realized

She's a butterfly, pretty as the crimson sky

Nothing's ever gonna bring her down

And everywhere she goes

Everybody knows she's so glad to be alive

She's a butterfly

Like the purest light in a darkened world

So much hope inside such a lovely girl

You should see her fly, it's almost magical

It makes you want to cry, she's so beautiful

God bless the butterfly,

give her the strength to fly

Never let her wings touch the ground

God bless the butterfly,

give her strength to fly

Never let her wings touch the ground