Monday, July 21, 2014

Bucket List - Dad's News

Dad's news from the Cancer Dr was good and not so good. They didn't say "let's talk hospice." This time.  They did predict that he should have about 6-9 months to live while taking the chemo.  If he remains healthy enough to get the chemo.  They predicted he'd have about 3-6 months without the chemo. BUT....  Yes isn't there always a but?

But, Dad's cancer markers are going DOWN.  So this means something good is happening inside Dad.  Even when he feels like total crap.

The Dr said Dad is on very powerful drugs, the chemo and the superman shots.  There isn't much that can be done for the side effects that he's experiencing.  Daddy said the chemo doesn't affect him as badly as the superman shots.  The shots just put him flat on his back for a couple of days, even more if he gets them days in a row.

The shots are also affecting Daddy more quickly.  Before he'd make the 45 minute drive both ways, get the shot and be able to get home before experiencing the side effects of the shot.  Now, he's falling asleep about 20 minutes into the drive home.  ESM and I are sharing Daddy's trips over for the shots.

What the cancer dr is recommending is that Dad continue with this round of chemo, which is over at the end of August.  They will do a CAT Scan to see what's going on inside and Daddy will have to make a decision at that time.  I think he wants to fight for as much time as he can get.  I want him to fight too but I don't want him to suffer.

For now, we are at status quo.  Nothing has changed.  But it feels different to me. Maybe because there is a timeline.  We are long past the intermission and are quickly moving to the final act.  I have been enjoying the play up until last September when all this started.

But.  There's that but again.  Its time to put on my big girl panties and stand by my family.  We are in this together, no matter what.

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