One Step Closer

The news for Daddy doesn't seem to be good. The cancer Drs think they are on top of the cancer, even to the point of saying its under control. But Daddy doesn't seem to be able to handle the treatments very well.

He gets chemo about every other week because his blood counts are whacky.  So they give him shots to help balance his blood so he can get chemo. But the shots make him tired and weak.  The chemo makes him tired and weak. He spends a lot of time on the couch which is frustrating for him.

Daddy had a visit with his heart dr, who had a phone conference with his Primary Dr.  They are in agreement that Daddy might want to consider stopping the cancer treatments.  They think the chemo is really affecting his quality of life and if there isn't going to be much improvement in the cancer, that he might want to stop taking the chemo and let things play themselves out.

When we got the diagnosis of Stage 4 with liver metz, the Drs didn't say they could "cure" him, but hoped to make him more comfortable and extend his life.  To be honest, seeing Dad struggle with fighting this, I had expected they would recommend he stop chemo at the time of the last scan.  But there was no new growth with the last scan which gave us hope and renewed fight.

I talked to Dad about it and he does have some questions for the cancer drs.  He wants to find out if he should stop fighting or if he needs to fight harder and if so, how much harder.  ESM is going to the Drs with him today.  I will be having lunch with Oscar and waiting by the phone to hear what the cancer Drs have to say.

In talking with Daddy yesterday, it seems he wants to keep fighting but would be willing to accept stopping if its a lost cause.  He wants to live.  I want him to live but not if he's going to feel miserable all the time.  Yesterday seemed to be a good day.  He was at least in a good, talkative mood while I was there.  He was tired but it was nap time too.

I haven't given up on my Daddy, I am still praying that he will be able to live longer but feel better.  I will respect and help him in anyway I possibly can, no matter what decision he makes with his life.