Being Right SUCKS

I have so many titles for this post.  All witty and with attitude.  Attitude I'm not feeling right now.... I am processing still.

We went to the Drs appt for Daddy.  I am thrilled they got him in so quickly, thrilled that they are affiliated with a top notch cancer research center and was very happy with the care and the time the Dr took with us.

I took notes while we were with the Dr and the Dr appreciated that I wanted to take information with us.  He gave us some print outs and gave me time to keep up with my note taking while he was talking with us.

So the final verdict, which I'm sure you want me to just put in the first line of this post.  I'm stalling.

I am a research junkie. I love to research things and learn about them.  Even if it is through Dr. Google and may not be exactly correct.  When Daddy first told me about all this going on, I went right to the Mayo Clinic and read up on what the Drs thought this could be.  That research resulted in many scared and irrational thoughts running through my mind.

Unfortunately, my diagnosis through Dr. Google was correct.  Daddy has Stage 4 Gastric Cancer. This is not treatable with surgery or radiation.  There are two options, one is to send Daddy home with Palliative Care and wait.  The other is to treat with chemo.

There are several cocktails that the Dr feels would be effective for Dad's cancer and also improve his quality of life.  They are running a couple more tests on the biopsies that will help to determine which cocktail will benefit most.  They are not saying they can CURE this, but can reduce the symptoms he is feeling from this growing in his body.

They are going insert a MediPort to allow easier access for administering the chemo.  He will have to go every two weeks for an infusion and will come home with a pump for two days after that.  As long as his body tolerates the cocktail, they will continue for about 3 months, then do some scans and other testing to see the status of the tumors.  (Yes tumors, more than one)

We are going to meet with a dietician to talk about proper nutrition and things he can eat to bulk up.  He's lost about 75 pounds this year.  He has no fat layer and is always cold.

We were joking at lunch that if there was a way to transplant Fat, he'd have a line of people willing to donate!  Dad smiled at that.

BUT!  If you want to send me your weight gaining tips and most fattening recipes, especially if they are flavored with vanilla, I'd appreciate them!  I told Daddy I'd make him anything he wants to eat!  Lasagna! I mean look at Garfield!

So.  A part of me feels better because we have answers and a plan of action.  Another part of me wants to hide under my desk and rock like a baby.  For tonight I think I will do just that,but with my teddy bear.  Tomorrow, I will pick myself up, dust off and march forward in this fight.