My last post was so dark and doom-y, it should have come with an adults only rating. Reality sucks sometimes.
In a complete turnaround from that post, I wanted to share with you a revelation I made today, with the help of some good drugs. See I had a colonoscopy today. Gross, I know. But necessary to keep me healthy. After making my toilet a VERY good friend last night, my Best Friend in the WORLD picked me up for the ride to the hospital. Neicy took the day of work for me. I am blessed by her generosity and love. She loves to save her vacation time for, what else but VACATION, not sitting in a hospital listening to me whine.
She sat and listened to me whine about being hungry. She even shared her dinner menu from last night to comfort me. She laughed at me when I cried from the IV needle and quickly lowered the bed when I got lightheaded from it. THEN she sat in the waiting room while they took me back for the happy drugs. Waiting is usually the worst. I've been there lots of times, just waiting for the Dr to come out and tell you everything went just fine. She waited and then drove the slightly drunk me home.
She loves me, I know this. I am blessed to have her in my life.
On the way home, I realized I was blessed because the test came out perfectly clean and I don't have to go back for 5 years. My toilet is happy about that. I am blessed that I am not going to succumb to the curse of colon cancer that seems to run through my family. That curse will end with my mother. She will have sacrificed herself for me. I am blessed to have my physical health.
I am blessed to have my best friend, Janet in my life. She contacted to check on me later in the day. She knows what the test entails, the before, during and after. She and I will celebrate my cleanliness on Friday with a Girls Night Out.
While my parents didn't have anything to do with me today, (dad was getting chemo and ESM was working) I am blessed to have them in my life. I am so lucky to STILL have my father in my life. There are so many that don't have either of their parents at my age. I have my father who spoils me to whatever extent he is capable and a wonderful step mother who is a mother without taking over my mothers memory.
I have been extremely depressed and negative about so much in my life and probably with justification. But there comes a time when you have to stop being stuck in your negative head and start looking to the positive. I'm not saying that I will always be wine and roses, that there won't be down and dark days, but I am going to make an effort to look for the good in my life as well as deal with the bad.
I will make the effort because I am sick of being in my head. Time to get into a new head.