Faith

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.     
                                                            - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I saw this quote on Martin Luther King day and its been haunting me since.  I have been a planner, if I am doing something, I like to have a plan.  I guess you could say, I like to see the whole staircase.

Over the years, I have proven to myself that I can have faith in myself.  I have been able to pick up after a messy divorce.  I have been able to provide a good life for me and my son with minimal financial help from his father.  I have been able to fight for everything Jakes needs to succeed in life.

I have come to rely mainly on myself for everything.  Yes, I use my parents for babysitting at times but those times are few and far between.  And I am grateful that they are here to help.

When Jakes was diagnosed with Aspergers, one of the things recommended to us was to maintain a schedule and to try to plan things and give him notice on those plans.  I got very good at planning.

My life has revolved around planning.  Most of the time that is good but there have been other times when it is boring.  There are times when I look at something I want to do and I chicken out because I don't have a plan in place.  And I don't even work on making a plan.  Because I don't have faith in the other people that it would involve.

Where do you get that faith in others?  I mean, I am sure there are people in the world who have been hurt as I was in the past.  Why am I so afraid to put my faith in others?  And how do I learn to put my faith in others again?

Titanic

Is this the iceberg that sunk the Titanic?!?!? 

Right here on MY beach!

OMG!! ITS JON BON JOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was AWESOME! Says Jakes as we left the ballroom.  He was bouncing around with excitement.  The Bon Jovi concert was over but still so fresh in our memories.

Last night was Jakes first concert ever and I was able to get tickets to his favorite artist for his 12th birthday.  After standing outside in the cold, wet, icy parking lot to be let in, we warmed up, found a GREAT spot to watch from and waited for Jon Bon Jovi and his friends to enthall us for the evening.  I'll share some pictures with you.

Check out how CLOSE we were to the stage.  And Jakes had the BEST view!

Isn't he HOT! 
This was Jakes view ALL night. 
I zoomed WAY in, sorry for blurry



sigh.  Can't say anything else.

Jon invited some of his friends to sing with him.  I didn't recognize any of them and rumor had it that they were local semi-pros.  They were all good and it was a great show.

Son thought it was the BEST birthday EVER!



Jakes having a GRAND time!

Here's a little snippet of my favorite Bon Jovi song.

Now, I have to get back to work.  TGIF!


Twelve Years Ago Today.......

This little Cutie came into my life and stole my heart



He has since taught me so much and grown into this handsome young man.

We will be celebrating here:



sigh, can I bring him home?



Happy 12th Birthday, Jakes!

We're going to have SO MUCH FUN!

I LOVE YOU, JAKES

COLD

Cold has griped most of the nation again.  Ok, its January and supposed to be cold.  But I am not enjoying it ONE LITTLE BIT.  I don't know why.  Its not like this is out of the ordinary for where I live.  It could be that as I get older, the cold gets harder to deal with.  Or it could be that I have a friend in AZ who keeps me posted on how WARM it is there. pphhfffttt!

Right now, I am keeping a CLOSE eye on the next storm eyeing up the Northeast.  They are predicting mainly rain and slush for my area and I hope that holds true.  Fingers crossed that its not that bad 4-letter "s" word!

On Saturday, we had a tug and barge head downriver, dodging the ice bergs at sunset.  It was pretty.



Tug and Barge at Sunset

We still have some ducks and geese that make the trip up the ice for corn

Isn't that GORGEOUS???

I am holding out hope that Spring is coming, SOON.

Dearest Momma

Dearest Momma,

I can't believe its been 12 years since you found your peace.  Where does the time go?  I know you are keeping an eye on us and I hope I am making you proud.  So much has happened this year, so much to share with you.

This year has not been the easiest for me in a long time.  I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now and I know I will be able to survive this storm.

I know that family meant the world to you and you did everything in your power to keep it together.  I am ashamed to say that I apparently don't have that same feeling of family.  Maybe its the Gerwitz in me. 

Brother seems to have cut himself off from us.  Dad calls and he doesn't respond.  We don't even know if he is still living in the same place anymore.  I just hope that he is okay with his decision to cut himself off from us.  I hate how hurt Dad is by Brothers actions. 

I also have not kept in contact with your sisters and brother.  One does get tired of negativity and put downs, you know?

Jakes is growing like a weed!  He's almost as tall as me and when I stand next to him, I feel short.  I don't know how to go about talking with him about puberty.  And until recently, I don't think he would listen.  I will find a way, momma.

Dad's busy being stubborn about his health. Like we'd expect anything else from him?  Renie does her best to keep him in line but he makes it difficult at times.  You know Dad.  :)

There are two things I want to thank you for since you left us.

Thank you for watching over me in my search for help for Jacob and me.  Several times in the last few years, you have shown me wonderful people to help me and us together.  Those are the times I feel your presence the strongest.

Also, I wanted to thank you for wishing a child like myself on ME!  I'm extremely grateful you didn't wish TWINS on me!  Just so you know, your wish came true.  Jakes is SO like I was as a child, only worse in some ways.

I love and miss you everyday, mommy.  So many times I wish you could wrap your arms around me and make it all better.  You did that so well when I was growing up.

Your Loving Daughter,

Amy

The Science Fair Results

The Science Fair was held this week.  Son's project was to build two different types of roller coasters out of K-nex and determine which style is faster.  Check this post out for the first Coaster.  It ended up being a really cool project.  Unfortunately, I had to help build the coasters and I am not a good choice for working with picture plans and things that snap together.    Plus I have trouble imagining the finished product.  Son says its cause I'm a girl.

So, here are pictures and another movie of the second coaster:

here's how it all started

Spiral Coaster

spiral to your death!

The Movie:

The required Story Board

The best thing about all this............................................

HE GOT 3rd PLACE!!

I'm SO PROUD!!