Jumping For Joy

Jakes has been doing riding lessons for about 3 years now.  He's been through several teachers over the years.  They have all been great teachers and he's learned things from them all.  One day we arrived to find another new teacher, Miss Torri.  She's been riding since she was 8 months old.  WOW!  Miss Torri brought her mother with her.  Miss Eileen has worked with horses and in many barns over the years.  She has been away from it for a long time.

Being at Ms Jill's farm is a healing experience.  And the farm worked its magic on Ms. Eileen as well.  She stood there watching all the kids, the ones taking lessons and the ones who were there early to work for their lessons. 

Ms. Jill was running behind on some lessons and asked Ms. Eileen to step in and help out.  It all came back to Ms. Eileen and she was in heaven.  She didn't realize how much she had been missing this until she stepped into the ring. 

That was three weeks ago and she has given Jakes his lessons every week that they've both been there.  She fell in love with my Jakes and who wouldn't?   He fell in love with her too.  Ms. Jill asked him to work with Ms Eileen, making sure she had the horses she needed, etc. 

Jakes and Eileen formed a wonderful team.  Ms. Eileen would be in the middle of the ring, tracking the progress of the horse and rider with Jakes walking (or running) beside the horse in case the rider needed assistance.  He listened to everything that Ms. Eileen was telling the rider and would help to remind the rider of their position, helping them to correct it before Ms. Eileen could. Ms. Eileen loved that Jakes was learning everything she was putting down for the other riders and she wanted to see if he would be able to apply it to his lessons.

For the last three weeks, Ms. Eileen has been giving Jakes his lessons and I have seen SO MUCH progress in him!  With the other teachers, Jakes would say "I'm not ready" and they wouldn't push him.  Ms. Eileen has been working on Jakes confidence and comfort with the horses and he has been trotting (something he was afraid of) and she had Jakes CANTERING this weekend!  He didn't realize it but he was!  Jakes even JUMPED this weekend!!!  And he went back begging to do it again.  Ms. Eileen has been a godsend for my Jakes. 



Jakes on Milkshake with Ms. Eileen instructing him

During Jakes lesson, Ms. Eileen told him he was off his diagonal.  He said, "I know, give me a second" and he fixed it without Ms. Eileen having to tell him how!  She was impressed by my Jakes.  I am impressed with my Jakes. ( I have NO clue what the diagonal is but as long as Jakes does, that's all I need to know) 

Here is the video Ms. Jill took when Jakes went over the jump. Sorry its so small. But I am still proud of the progress my Jakes has made!

At the end of the day, everyone gathers under the trees to chat and enjoy the delicious breezes that are ALWAYS at the farm.

The Gathering Tree

I have said time and again, how blessed we are to have found Ms. Jill's farm. There is just so much good being done there. Ms. Jill's mantra is "with God all things are possible."  And she is right. 

God does watch over this little farm and its inhabitants and visitors.

Say a prayer with me that He continues to watch over this little piece of Heaven on Earth.

Life Can Be Ugly But There Are Lessons To Be Learned

I have been struggling a lot with ugliness in my life lately. I have talked a lot about Jakes and my struggles with parenting him. Any kid in puberty can be challenging, but add in Aspergers and ADHD into the mix and the struggles can increase. Which they have between Jakes and myself.

My personal life (yes, I consider it different from my parenting life) had taken a turn for the better. I connected with a friend and spent the past several months getting to know him again. Letting myself care for him again, even knowing the complications that could come from caring. I had high hopes for happiness for myself with him.

Over the past weekend, things changed completely. A miracle happened for him, a literal miracle. And you can’t and shouldn’t fight a miracle. And I won’t fight it no matter the heart break for me. He deserves it and has been waiting for this for many months.

A friend on facebook posted this quote from a young lady who endured illness her entire, short life but never lost faith that her life would be good.

“Life is not always fair....It’s full of lessons. Life can get ugly, but even when it’s ugly, there’s good in it.” ~Megan Daddario

While I have spent the past week being miserable about how things in my life have been going, being disappointed and heartbroken, and being ready to just runaway and start over, this young lady never gave up. She endured pain and suffering but never let it get her down. She was always looking for ways to make things better for herself, her family, and the community. No matter how sick she was, she continued her schooling to become a nurse; she worked with local EMS services to help people who needed her.

I need to start thinking as she did and look for the lessons in the ugly of my life.

I have been very fortunate to get tons of services to help with parenting Jakes. In-home therapy services, counseling for myself, medication for me, support groups, and lots of support from everyone. The in-home services are about to end and I will have to work with the therapists to decide where to go from here. Its obvious that we will need further services to continue bringing peace into my home.

I am dedicated to bringing that peace into my home. I am dedicated to making sure that my son gets all the help he needs to be all he can be in life. I am dedicated to giving my son the best in life as possible.

So the lesson for this ugly in my life is that I am and will continue to be the best mom possible for Jakes. There is a reason Jakes was given to me to raise, because with my stubbornness, God knew I’d make sure Jakes gets what he needs.

I am still struggling with the ugly of my personal life a little, its still raw. By caring and sharing with him, I realized what I am missing by being alone for so long. I don’t have someone special to share life’s moments with, to snuggle up and watch TV with, to share my bed. And by coming to care for him, I realized that I really am missing that. And I want that. Very much.

My lesson from my heartbreak is a reminder that I am a lovable person; that I am ready to move on and find someone special to love. My heartbreak gives me hope that I am growing, that I am deserving of love, and that I will find someone to share my love and my life.

Anyone know a single guy age 35-45 who might be interested in a loving, wonderful woman to share life with?