Celebration

I have been divorced for 3 years today! And I have never been happier. But I wish someone had told me THIS story when I was a little princess.

Once Upon a Time in a Land Far Away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said

"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young price that I am, and the, my sweet, we can marry, and set up housekeeping in your castle, with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs, seasoned in a white wine and cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't fucking think so!

And today, I celebrate my independence and happiness! Celebrate with me!

Hospital

I have to say that we were in the best hospital! Our arrival time was at 8:20 am. They took us right back to get the pre-op stuff taken care of. Once that was done, they put him in a bed and gave him "giggle juice". Almost immediately, he was blinking and complaining about seeing "things floating". psychedelic dude! lol

The Dr Hotty (more on him later!) came and talked with me, signed some papers and away Son went! I didn't even cry. The nurses showed me where the PACU waiting was and I had just enough time to send one email telling family that he was in surgery and it would be about 30 minutes before I heard anything else. I looked up from that email and here comes Dr Hotty to tell me that everything is done, looks good and I can see Son in about 20 minutes or so. WOW!

So I send another email telling everyone that he's done! And of course, call my father who didn't have email today! Eventually, they are coming to get me to sit with him while he wakes up. He always has woken up easily. No fussing, puking or crying. He drank some juice and watched some TV while things floated by still. And then whined when they said it was time to get dressed. Of course because a good show came on the TV. Typical!

Our nurse got pulled away to tend a smaller patient who wasn't waking up nicely from the giggle juice. She wasn't even with us when the wheel chair came to get us. But we were cleared to leave!

We got home at 11:10 am. I can't remember a quicker trip to the hospital for surgery! They ROCK!

Son has been vegging on the couch since we got home. I am working Saturday chores so I have Saturday free. Always a good thing when there are TONS of things to do this time of year!

Now, Dr. Hotty. yum. He is not Son's regular ENT but he had time free in his OR schedule for Son. WOW. Had I known he was HOTTY, I would have switched! And would be happier that Son has ear problems cause it would be more chances to flirt/drool! Oh well. My prince is out there.

Have a happy weekend. I know I will!

Pins and Needles

I have been through this 4 other times but experience doesn't always help with the anxiety. Son's surgery is tomorrow sometime. But I am still worried about tomorrow. I guess it doesn't matter how many times you have been through this before, you still worry about what these people are going to do to your baby. Even if the baby is 10! lol

I have instructions from the hospital to attach my phone to me today while waiting for them to call with our arrival time. Its in my pocket as I type.

This will be the first surgery he has had that I am not taking "support" with me to the hospital. I have convinced myself that since we have been through this before and I am in a MUCH better place mentally, I can do this on my own. Plus the hospital has free internet so I can still keep in touch with my "support" cybernetically.

So, positive thinking: Everything will be fine for Son. Actually, he will be better because when he comes out, he will be able to hear! YAY! I will be fine because I am strong and healthy.

And I can't wait to get him home and watch movies all afternoon!

Facebook

Everyone I know has a MySpace page. Not me. I even mocked people with MySpace pages. pfft! What do you need THAT for? HA.

Then my friend said that she was on Facebook. And that I should see ALL the people we went to school with who were on there! It was COOL to be on Facebook, or so she said.

So I signed up and made friends with her. Yes, there were lots of people I knew and/or went to school with. But I didn't "hang" with these people in school. Why would they want to be friends with me now? So I wasn't and still am not very proactive about being your friend on Facebook. I am choosy about who I am friends with. So if I am friends with you on Facebook, I really like you!

Until Denise of Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys, sent a friend request to me. She and I weren't really friends in high school, we certainly didn't "hang" together. I dated her brother for a while but when that fizzled, I moved off in a different direction from Denise. Don't get me wrong, I liked her but she was just my boyfriends little sister. lol

So the day that Denise friended me, I was feeling particularly lonely so I accepted. From that day forward, she always commented on my status, eventually we were emailing through facebook, then exchanged home emails and phone numbers. OH! And when we figured out that we lived around the corner from each other, that was the deal sealer! We were destined to be best friends!

I don't want to say that she cyber stalked me but............ I am glad that she did!

Its been just over a year since she and I reconnected on Facebook and we have had MANY Girls Nights In and Out (with more to come!), our kids get along very well, and her husband likes me too, always a plus!

After I had a particularly trying day and whining to Denise that I wished my therapist hadn't discharged me, she introduced me to blogging. "It's therapy without the car ride, the wait and its FREE!" Free? I'm there! So I started a blog, which I have since closed down do to a stalker. And she was right. Free therapy!

Then she would talk about all the blogs she was "following" and she showed me how to do that. Now I spend HOURS reading and commenting on other peoples lives. And I am not as lonely.

So, Facebook, Thank you for bringing me new/old friends!

Denise, thank you for introducing me to free therapy and for cyber stalking me! Love you!

An F Bomb Kinda Day

Have you ever had a F-Bomb kinda day? Well that was my day today. Here's some background leading to the F-Bomb.

Son has a retainer on the top only. It is PRE treatment, getting things started before they put braces on the top and bottom. He needs teeth pulled on the bottom before they can put braces on. Son has had a terrible time remembering to wear the thing. He has left it at 2 restaurants and we were very lucky they found it for us.

After Son got out of the shower tonight I told him to brush his teeth and put his retainer back in. After he tried to say he couldn't FIND it, we finally determined that he did indeed wear it to school this morning and he threw it away at lunchtime. At SCHOOL.

There's the first F-bomb. The second one came when I looked at the price of the one in the trash that I am STILL PAYING ON.

The third F-bomb came when my best friend called to say that she thinks she is having some medical problems. She is still recovering from a major surgery and thinks this might be a complication from the surgery. Big time F-bomb! Even bigger than my retainer fiasco.

So did you have an F-bomb kinda day? Please tell me about it!

Blessings

I am blessed. I know this but there are days that I am reminded of this. Today is such a day.

Son had pre-admission testing for his ear surgery next week so we spent the morning at the hospital. Now, this is not your ordinary hospital that caters to all ages, this is one of the top children’s hospital in the area. Just walking through the lobby is enough to break you heart.

My son has a disability as well as ear problems that make him special. He has worked very hard with the therapists and other specialist in his life to learn to cope with his Aspergers Syndrome. It helps him that I have advocated and pushed for every intervention he has had since the 2006 diagnosis. To me, Son is special, even without the diagnosis. With the diagnosis, he is special to a lot of other people, mainly the school district and the therapists that work with him.

But when you go to the children’s hospital, you can see that Son is normal in comparison to a lot of the kids there. We were on our way out when I saw a mother walking down the hall with her son and daughter. The daughter looked to be about 5 and the son, well it was hard to tell. He was in a wheel chair, a fancy electric one that seems to recline. The mother was also pushing an IV pole with bags of stuff and an oxygen tank. She was good at driving the wheel chair and guiding the pole at the same time. My heart broke for that family.

There were other kids there with various physical disabilities, lack of hair as a result of chemo, and of course their parents there to support and encourage them.

Going to this hospital is a good reminder for me to hug my child close and to say a prayer of thanks for my blessings. When you count your blessings the next time, ask God to keep all the families with special children close to his heart.

I did.

I Want

Well, that could be a LONG list! There is so much that I want from life. Some material things and some non-material things. I just have to figure out what is priority to me. The material things are not important to me, I can work my way to getting those things.

The non-material thing that I think I want to work for is love. I have the love of my son, my parents and my friends. What I don't have is the love of a man in my life. Oh, I had it at one time; son was the result. :) The death of that love and the relationship was hard. The growth and getting to know myself that came from that love and relationship was well worth it. Of course, at the time, I didn't think so but I do now. That to me is one of many signs that I am ready to give love a shot, again.

So, I live in a rural farming community where the best place to meet guys is a bar and this bar has the same people in it that were there when I was in college and partying there. yuck. Maybe I am being a snob but I don't think so.

I have posted myself on several matching sites on the Internet. I hope I am successful. Of course, I welcome your input and suggestions for putting myself out there.