Parenting and Facebook

Jakes is old enough to have a Facebook account.  He won't be my friend.  But I have enough friends who ARE friends with him that are helping to keep him in line and report back to me anything that I might need to know about. Thanks, Suzanne and Gmom!  You're the best!

Anyway, I found out that he was playing some of the Facebook games, the games where you have to accept friend requests from total strangers in order to advance in the game.  OH NO!  That just doesn't sit right with me.

So the other day, I spoke with Jakes about the situation and explained my fears.  I wanted to talk with him as an adult.  He complains that I am too protective (I am!) so I am trying to back off and talk to him as I would an adult about certain things.  I asked him to change his privacy settings so that he wouldn't get requests from strangers in the games section.  I could feel his resistance, even over the phone.  I could feel him getting more and more resistant to everything I was saying.

As I was explaining my fears to him, he just FLIPPED out.  He yelled at me and bad mouthed me.  I tried to be calm and collected. I  tried to calm him down. I finally told him that if he didn't change his settings, I would involve his father in this. That set him off even more.  I ended up hanging up on him and walking away from him.

10 minutes or so later, I rec'd a text from his father that he had addressed the Facebook issue.  Apparently, he was home and hear Jakes flip out and investigated.  When Jakes was allowed to have a Facebook account, rules were established and agreed upon by Jakes and his father.  Jakes was breaking those rules.

I didn't know about those rules, I was just acting on my motherly protective instincts.  Fortunately, his father is on the same page as I am.

But I haven't heard from Jakes since the incident.  I did text him that he shouldn't be angry with me, I didn't tell his father, he did by yelling.  

I'm sure I'll hear from him soon.  He wants to go to the farm this weekend.

Unconditional Love

I started thinking about unconditional love because a friend on facebook frequently posts about how much she loves her daughter. She is so eloquent in her posts that I can see the love flowing from her heart toward her daughter, even through the computer screen. She describes her love for her daughter as "love you to the moon and back".  So sweet!

Every parent has unconditional love for their child. Even me for Jakes, even when he's driving me crazy! And we all express it differently.  My friend can say it and I've seen her kiss and hug all over her.  She has no problem with showing her unconditional love.  Me on the other hand, I tell Jakes I love him and ask for hugs and kisses from him.  But I don't usually proclaim my love to all my friends and family on facebook.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with how either of us share our love for our children.  Its just a matter of how comfortable we are with the various ways of sharing.  I love reading her posts of love for her daughter.  It makes me smile and warms my heart.  It also reminds me that I really do love my child.  Even when he's being a big pain in the butt.

Thanks, Kris.  You're amazing in so many ways!

Let's Get Organized - Randomly

Its going to be a crazy, crazy day!  Jakes 24-hour EEG was canceled yesterday so I at least didn't have to deal with that today.  They rescheduled for next week.  I am very grateful that my boss allowed me to switch my time off around and for me to make up the time I was late yesterday.  I love that she is so flexible with me.

Today at work is going to be nuts.  I have stuff to get done, plus a meeting at headquarters this afternoon.  I haven't even STARTED prepping for this meeting.  Since I am the one that called this meeting, I probably should get ready for it.

After the meeting, I have to run over to the airport to pick up my Daddy.  My neighbor, Kathy went to Florida to stay with a friend so Daddy drove her down and now he's flying back.  I think ESM wants someone to pick him up, I think she wants Daddy home.

Once I get Daddy from the airport, I'll have to make my way through rush hour traffic to come back home to get Jakes from summer camp before they close.  I should be able to make it.  Hopefully.  Fingers crossed and I will be activating my cop-shield!

I hate when my subconscious mind takes over.  I have a situation which I'm trying to step back from to protect myself but my dreams won't let me.  When I'm awake I can control myself and put the wall up.  But when I sleep, my dreams take over and while I like those dreams and wish I could make them come true, I can't let them take over.  Last nights dream was so perfect and heavenly but I need to let it go for now.  I need to put that wall back up around my heart.  How do you do that when the wall came down so recently and when I don't really want to?  be strong and just do it.

I joined Google+1.  I got an invite from my friend, Annabelle Archer.  I don't know how to use Google+1 yet.  And I don't have many friends on it yet.  I still prefer facebook.  Maybe in time I will get the hang of it and it will become the New FaceBook.  We'll see.

I'm on vacation count down!  Not too many more days to go!  Can't wait to see my friend from AZ when he gets here!

Ok. I think I have everything organized in my head.  Now time to get organized for my meeting this afternoon.  Happy Tuesday all!

Facebook

Everyone I know has a MySpace page. Not me. I even mocked people with MySpace pages. pfft! What do you need THAT for? HA.

Then my friend said that she was on Facebook. And that I should see ALL the people we went to school with who were on there! It was COOL to be on Facebook, or so she said.

So I signed up and made friends with her. Yes, there were lots of people I knew and/or went to school with. But I didn't "hang" with these people in school. Why would they want to be friends with me now? So I wasn't and still am not very proactive about being your friend on Facebook. I am choosy about who I am friends with. So if I am friends with you on Facebook, I really like you!

Until Denise of Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys, sent a friend request to me. She and I weren't really friends in high school, we certainly didn't "hang" together. I dated her brother for a while but when that fizzled, I moved off in a different direction from Denise. Don't get me wrong, I liked her but she was just my boyfriends little sister. lol

So the day that Denise friended me, I was feeling particularly lonely so I accepted. From that day forward, she always commented on my status, eventually we were emailing through facebook, then exchanged home emails and phone numbers. OH! And when we figured out that we lived around the corner from each other, that was the deal sealer! We were destined to be best friends!

I don't want to say that she cyber stalked me but............ I am glad that she did!

Its been just over a year since she and I reconnected on Facebook and we have had MANY Girls Nights In and Out (with more to come!), our kids get along very well, and her husband likes me too, always a plus!

After I had a particularly trying day and whining to Denise that I wished my therapist hadn't discharged me, she introduced me to blogging. "It's therapy without the car ride, the wait and its FREE!" Free? I'm there! So I started a blog, which I have since closed down do to a stalker. And she was right. Free therapy!

Then she would talk about all the blogs she was "following" and she showed me how to do that. Now I spend HOURS reading and commenting on other peoples lives. And I am not as lonely.

So, Facebook, Thank you for bringing me new/old friends!

Denise, thank you for introducing me to free therapy and for cyber stalking me! Love you!