The Wedding

My Best Friend In the World, Kimber got married this past weekend and it was a wonderful day and party.  She was the most beautiful bride, the groom couldn't have been handsomer, the weather finally cooperated, the food and drink was perfect and there was plenty of DANCING!

On Friday, I shipped Jakes off to his dad's and packed myself and Jaxon in the car to drive north for the weekend.  Poor Jaxon still gets car sick!  yuck.  But he got to stay at Kimber's and play with her 3 doggies.  It fabulous that our doggies all get along to well.

We arrived at Kimber's with plenty of time to pack her truck and head further north to where the wedding was being held.  On Friday night, I was sharing Kimber's hotel room and found out that there were going to be 5 of us in the room with one King bed.  ummmm, I love all the girls in the room but probably not THAT much.

We went to the rehearsal dinner, where all of Kimber's family was waiting, people I haven't seen in a long time.  Especially her grandmother!  I was so happy to see her!  She had a rough year but she's stubborn and toughed it out to be at the wedding.  She actually yelled at me because I took so long to come over and hug her!  Gotta love her!



Grandmom with her sons and grandsons.



The food and drink were wonderful and the company fabulous!  While floating around visiting with family, I scored a room key!  Woot!  Cousin Kelly and her husband were staying at the hotel and had an extra bed.  Karen (Kelly's sister) and I shared the bed.  SO much better than squishing in with Kimber and the kids!  Still love ya, Kimber!

Of course it was a late evening and we had an early call to be up in the moring.  We were supposed to be at Aunt Mary's by 7:00 am.  ugh.  There were six girls who had to have hair and make up done by the time the photographer came.  I didn't bother with hair and make up since I wasn't in the wedding.

I was Honorary Maid of Honor.  Its a good thing too!  With the long dresses, it would have been almost impossible for Kimber's daughter to help out too much. I confiscated Kimber's phone and she was allowed to have it only when absolutely necessary!  I hovered around Kimber in case she needed anything and all she had to do was ask.  I helped to tighten the corset on her gown, I held the gown when she walked, I helped the photographer set up shots, I paid people, I drove her to the hotel, I don't think I sat down and relaxed until dinner was served.  And then it was time for dancing!  Woot!

Once Kimber was beautiful, we went back to the hotel for more pictures with the groom.  That's where the photographer got a fabulous picture of me, Kimber and Dale.  I can't wait to see it!

The ceremony was lovely.  Everything went as planned and Kimber's Mom sent a ray of sunshine just as she headed down the aisle.  Perfection!

The Veil is Kim's Aunt Mary's.  Its been worn by Mary, Kelly and now Kimber.

As a way of symbolizing the formation and unity of the family, they held a sand ceremony.  Everyone had a different color sand and they poured it into a larger container to show how the colors combine to make an all new brilliant design.  Just as happens when you combine a family such as theirs.  It was lovely.

A Family Is Made

After the cememony, it was time to PARTY!  Of course, there were still family pictures to take.  Once they were done, Kimber and Dale had their pictures taken in this:

AWESOME!

Kimber works for a distributing company and one of the sales reps brought this so she could get pictures.  LOVE IT!

THEN it was time to party!  Of course, Kimber and Dale wanted a few minutes alone and I had set out the brides gift for the groom and a couple glasses of campange, then found the head caterer so they could take up munchies for them.  My job was almost done!

Right after the new Mr and Mrs were introduced, the dancing started.  I missed the salad cause I was on the dance floor.  I did sit down to eat dinner, YUM!  And I had a whole bottle of wine to myself.  :)

More dancing!  Go Grandmom:

We couldn't resist getting down with Grandmom!

The evening ended with the cake cutting.

On the way back to the hotel, I gave Kimber back her phone.  My duties were done!  All of Kimber's hard work and planning paid off!  It was a beautiful wedding for a wonderful couple. 

I wish them all the love and happiness in the world!

Wordless Wednesday

Doesn't she make a beautiful bride?

Check out other Wordless Wednesday Pictures.......

The Flood

Last Friday, Dad, Renie and Ms. Kathy left for a trip to Florida.  They missed the storm.  But that left ME in charge of the compound.  Oh boy!

You remember that massive storm last week that caused destruction from Oklahoma to Maine?  All those horrible tornadoes on North Carolina?  Well, we had a flood!

As I have talked about before, I am right on the Delaware River and marshes come right up to the road.  When it floods, it usually comes from the marshes.  We have a fairly new bulkhead that keeps the river where it belongs.

The conditions were just right for a flood.  The wind was blowing and kept the water in the Delaware Bay, which meant the water stayed in the marshes as well.  AND there was a full moon, which meant a higher than normal tide too.  I looked out at the river when my tide clock said low tide and there was no beach, no sand bar, just lots of water.  I knew we were in trouble then.

High tide was around 10:30 pm and that's when I take Jaxon for his final walk of the night.  All the neighbors were out too.  There was water EVERY WHERE!  In the road, in the driveway, in the yard, in all of Jaxons favorite bathroom places.  I walked out by my car and it was ankle deep, but wasn't covering all of the driveway yet.  Ten minutes later, it was calf deep and was pouring into the storm cellar.   That's when I decided the get my rubber boots on and move the cars.  Dad has a truck and still had 6 inches before I had to worry about it.

I checked with my neighbor who has lived there for a long time to see how worried I should be and he said not too worried.  Once the tide turns, it will dry up.  He was right!

By 11:00 pm , the tide had turned and the water started to recede from the yard.  By 12:30 the road was uncovered and I could get to the storm cellar.  It was filled with water still.  The sump pump was working overtime.

The next morning, I went out to move the cars back and survey the damage.  Debris everywhere, mud every where.  There was still a good 8 inches of water in the storm cellar.  I counted up seven cinder blocks that were wet, that's over 5ft of water!!  In the storm cellar!!

In talking with the neighbors, I found out that the main road from town was washed out and impassable. That road is still listed as Closed, but people are using it.  They are supposed to do a study to see how badly it was undermined in the flood.  Two of the three main roads leading to the interstate were washed out and closed.  Many of the neighbors had to have the fire department come and pump out their basements.

All in all we were lucky. Until the sump pump started misbehaving.  It would stay on even when there wasn't any water to suck. I didn't know this until Monday evening when my neighbor came over to tell me he'd heard it sucking air and that he had come over during the day to empty out the basement occasionally.  What a wonderful man!

So the rest of the week, I babysat the sump pump when I would come home.  We were still getting 3 and 4 inches of water in the cellar all week.  I sent Dad an email telling him what was going on and that we would need a new pump when they got home.  I also complained that I was left in charge but no one told me this.

Of course when I left for the weekend, I let someone else know what was going on and how to handle it but they didn't.  When I got home on Sunday, Dad told me the pump had burned up.

While they were in Florida, they got me my own tool kit for when I am the substitute Handyman.....

I think this will definitely come in handy the next time!

Sunday Check-in

yes, I know its Monday but my weekend was so fun-filled that I lost track of when was what.  Just to let you know, I had a fabulous weekend and will fill you in when I get caught up! 


And the room stops spinning. 


And my legs stop hurting. 


And I can feel my feet again.

Well, you know the drill!

Wordless Wednesday

My Daily Commute Now That It's Spring........



The Meeting

This has been a fairly peaceful week, in comparision.  I don't know if its because of my medication kicking in or Jakes Concerta is finally out.  I don't care. I will take the loving, happier Jakes anyday.  Its not perfect and we still have a lot of work to do.

Last night Albert came to the house.  When I was talking with Melissa about setting the service up, I asked for a male counselor.  We've never had a male counselor before but with Jakes getting older, I thought it would be a opportunity to try and see how he responds.

Albert came right in and talked more to Jakes than to me.  He got most of the information about Jakes and our problems from Jakes, I only chimed in when Jakes didn't have the answers.  Jakes seemed to like Albert from the start, then when Albert started talking about science experiments and Mythbusters, Jakes was HOOKED!  When Albert talked about Mythbusters, you should have seen Jakes eyes pop open!

Albert and Jakes set up some goals, Albert described to Jakes how he likes to conduct the sessions, and Albert gave Jakes some homework.  That was it.  Albert also gave Jakes lots of information about behaviors and such, especially when Jakes yelled at me while I was relating a story.

I think Albert is going to be a good addition to the team that's going to be working with me to get family harmony back.

The Story

Jakes and I have been operating in crisis mode for a while now. Things really blew up a week or so ago but in a way it was a good thing. Because now we as getting all kinds of help. Help I have been begging for.

I was recommended to enroll in a program called Mobile Response. They are a crisis intervention service. I can call them 24/7 to get help and they will send someone out to the house to de-escalate things if necessary. By being enrolled with them, they will also send someone out to the house to do a needs assessment for us. The therapist would then recommend and case manage us until we got into the services.

I called Mobile Response last Sunday morning because Jakes was melting down and saying threatening things to me. Mel came out to the house and did a little needs assessment as well as talking to Jakes and myself to make sure everyone was calm.

On Tuesday, Mel called to say that she was recommending an 8 week family stabilization program. A therapist will come to the house and work to stabilize us once a week for 8 weeks. It's hopeful that after that, we will be stable enough to enter traditional therapy and/or parenting classes.

On Thursday, the therapist contacted me to schedule our intake appointment for tomorrow.  When they say they are going to offer services, they don't mess around with getting them started!

On Friday, I met with the Mobile Response team for what they call a Family Planning meeting. This is a pre-planning meeting where we decide who to invite to the actual meeting. At the meeting we will review everything that has been going on with us and try to come up with a plan to meet all our needs.

Last week, I sat in Val's office, sobbing my heart out over all this.  I came out of Val's office with things to do for me.  I was to contact me Dr to see about going on anti-depression meds, which I did.  I just started them but I am feeling better already.  I also feel like I have more patience with Jakes.  We also realized that I have a lot of resentment to deal with.  Resentment towards Jakes and his disabilities, towards A/H for having the ability to walk away from being a parent, and oh so much more!

Once the in-home services are in place, I will continue seeing Val on  my own to work on ME.

Another thing I did with Jakes is I took him off the Concerta, which is a stimulant medication.  He is still on Intuniv and seems to be able to function on that alone.  Once he was off the Concerta, a lot (not all!) of his hostility and anger has disappeared.  I am hoping we can work on that more in the therapies we will be having.

So that's my story.  Its been a rough couple of weeks and I am hoping that this was rock bottom and we can only go up from here.

I Am Loved

Love is the lamp that lights the universe: without that light the earth is a barren promontory and man the quintessence of Dust. 
                                                              - Mary Elizabeth Braddon

Knowing you are loved makes like easier to handle. Childcare, car repairs, finishing your reports – its all easier when we know we are loved. We don’t feel as alone in a crowd if we know we are loved.

If you are a single parent, such as myself, its very easy to forget that you are loved. You may not have a partner in the adventure of life but there are so many other people who can remind you that you are loved. Loved by your parents, family, and friends, even when they don’t say it or show it.

Jakes and I have been in serious crisis for quite sometime now and it recently escalated. I have been very depressed, embarrassed, and frustrated by everything in my life. And feeling very unloved. I just wanted to crawl into bed and stay there for a very long time. I still feel that way, but not as badly.

I know that I am loved. Yesterday, Kimber reminded me how much she loves me. She called my local spa and ordered a massage for me. I’m going on Saturday. As I take a few minutes and look back over the last week, I now see loads of expressions of love toward me. From the comments on my blog posts to keep my head up to the massages waiting for me! I am extremely grateful to everyone’s kindness.

Kimber and Neicy top my list right now, Kimber for the massage, Neicy for helping her get the info to call! Both of you have also reminded me day in and day out that I am not a bad mother. Just a mother with a special needs child and a limited professional support system. I’m getting that support system now!

My Parents for just being there and offering their quiet support. Knowing that you are there when I need you is comforting.

HS in AZ for telling me that he admires at how I am dealing with all the crap I am dealing with. Just have some margaritas ready in May!  ;)

Annabelle from Don’t Make It Like I’m Dumb for just listening and pestering me. I appreciate it. I LOVE your colorful descriptions of A/H! Keep ‘em coming! And we need to get together for coffee and pie!

To Brian at WaysidestationOne for always commenting and offering positive thoughts. I appreciate them more than words can say! And you’d be my first pick for a therapist if logistically possible!

Even in the darkest of times, you have to remember that you are loved and the darkness will fade, even a little bit. Wherever we look, someone will find the day easier if he remembers he’s loved.

Hawaii

I wanted to share this info with my friends here.  I am hoping I can liberate the money necessary to go here this year.

Its a fabulous price that includes airfare AND hotel!

There are only prices for a couple of airports but if you call the travel agents, they can help you find one that is close to you!

If you decide to go, let me know so we can meet up over there!

Sunday Check In

Just a quick note that I am still here and sane.  I had planned to give more details on what is going on but I am just too raw right now.  In time.

For now, I am ok.

In hiding

I am going to be taking a break from blogging and reading your wonderful words.  There are some very important and scary things going on in my life at the moment.  I just don't think I have it in me to blog.

I hope to be back soon but until I have a plan in place, I can't say when.

What an Experience!

Yesterday, for my birthday, I sang the National Anthem at the Phillies game.  What an experience!  What STRESS!

ESM and I left the house with what we thought was plenty of time to get there.  We only live 40 minutes from the stadium.  Who knew the Flyers were playing at the SAME TIME??  Janet did!  :)  Who knew the traffic would be HORRENDOUS?  Anyone who has been to a game in say the last year or so!  I can't tell you the last time I've been to a Phillies game.

Anyway, after sitting in traffic for way too long, ESM and I ran all over the stadium trying to find someone who could get us out on the field.  Finally, at 1:31, I was lead onto the field, over the Astro's dugout.  COOL!

By 1:37 we were done singing and heading back underground.  WOW!  Looking around at about 40,000 standing with their hats off for US to sing!  AMAZING!  Would I do it again?  HELLS YES!  But I will be leaving my house at 5 am to get there! 

Here's the video:

I'm in the front row to the left......

Its My Birthday!

Its my birthday

and I'm going to spend it



Singing at the



Game which starts 1:35 pm Eastern Time

Check out PHL17 if you're in the Philly area!  Hopefuly, you'll see me getting hugs from

Love him!



My Adventures with the Police (Almost)

The other day I had to travel to another county for two meetings.  I don't like to go to meetings but they are a necessary evil to my job.  This time I was grateful that both meetings happened to be scheduled on the same day.  While I was traveling around, I had several run-ins with the police. 

It was a giggle day!

So on the way to the meeting, I followed Pinkie, my GPS.  She got me there nicely but of course, she can't tell me where the parking lots are.  I went around the block cause it was all one way streets. 

I pulled into a parking lot but then saw a sign that I was in the wrong lot and I could be towed.  The parking lot I needed to be in was about 50 yards behind me on the wrong way of the one way street. 

hmmmmmmm   

Can I sneak from this lot over to the one that I need without incident?  I'm going to chance it.  And I did.

When I got out of the car and looked around the neighborhood, I saw the Police Station was right across the street from the parking area.  Good Job, Ames!   Going the wrong way on a one way street in front of the police station. 

Giggle!

My next run-in with the police was on my way to my second meeting.  I was in a city (as opposed to the country roads I drive every day) and there were traffic lights every block or so and once you catch one red, you catch ALL of them red.  I caught the first one red.  sigh.......

At the same time I was slogging my way through the lights, I was texting with Neicy.  Every red light, I would send a text.  Green light, put the phone down and drive. 

Lather, Rinse, Repeat. 

Until I got to one light with a left hand turn lane.  I'm sitting there waiting for the light and typing out a text.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see another car pull beside me.  It was white.  I looked up and there was a cop car sitting there waiting for the light.  In the car was an officer glaring at me for texting.  ooops!

I smiled and gave a little wave. 

And put the phone down.  Then the light changed and me and the officer went our own ways.  At the next light, I texted the incident to Neicy!    

Giggle!

I am thinking that maybe I have used all my "lives" with police.  I'm going to be paying close attention to stuff around me and the speed limits for a while!  Giggle!



NOTE:  this was a REAL adventure, not april fools!