All Good Things

This was inspired by Brian's story "Remnants".  Check out WayStationOne for your inspiration.

They gathered in the dining room, the funeral had been over for many weeks.  Jesse sat cradling her infant in her arms while everyone chatted to get caught up on news.  Jesse shared the story of Michael's birth, leaving the graveyard and how quickly Michael made his way into the world.

There was an aura of sadness at the table; it was obvious that Jesse's mom was missing and they were still working accepting the new dynamic.  Jesse's dad looked sad and proud at the same time, if that was possible.  He had lost his wife and soul mate but gained a grandson at the same time.  He too was struggling with the new way of things.

Michael finished his bottle and was sleeping.  The group decided to start in the sewing room upstairs.  Jesse's dad was going to stay downstairs and watch Michael sleep.  He said he wanted everything cleaned out as quickly as possible.  The memories just hurt too much.

They found so many things that showed Kathy's love of her husband and family.  There were measurements of the kids as they grew and notes about projects she wanted to tackle for them family.  Hidden away was a pattern that Jesse had said she wanted as her wedding dress.  Jesse was flabergasted to know how much her mother wanted to give her the dream dress, even though she was too sick to make it.

In the cubby hole was an entire box of baby clothes and a blanket that Michael still uses today.  Some were handmade clothes, some were obviously store bought.  Some had labels of who made them and those were packed away as heirlooms.  The dismantled sewing room looked forlorn and lonely when they were done. The table her grandfather had built was empty for the first time in Jesse's memory.  It hurt Jesse's heart to see it that way.  She knew how much peace and pride this room had given her mother.

They moved into the bedroom.  Judy suggested that Jesse look over her mom's jewlery box.  There were many treasures in there, not monetarily valuable, but valuable to Jesse and her family.  In there was jewlery from Jesse's mom's mother and father, a bite disc from Jesse's grandmother, a ring suitable for a child and many other things that Jesse had never seen.  Also in the box were the dog tags for Jesse's father when he was in the Navy.  They were lovingly encased in plastic to protect them.  Jesse's father may not have wanted a reminder of his time spent in the service, but Jesse's mom obviously wanted those memories.  It was after all, the beginning of their love story.

Also hidden away in a dresser drawer was a family history.  There were pictures and letters from relatives Jesse had only heard about briefly.  And a detailed account of how the family came to America.  What a treasure!

Its amazing that such a hard and trying day could bring such good things and wonderful memories.

First Love Comes Full Circle

In high school there were lots of couples who were "in love" and it was thought that they would stay together through college and end up together for happily ever after.  AZ and I were such a couple.  We were together in high school through most of my freshmen year and broke up in my junior year.

We were almost joined at the hip, always together, always in the same activities. The only times we weren't together is when one of us had to work or my parents said Nope, time for family.

I would sit in science class and watch the back room for a glimpse of him working for another teacher.  We both got in trouble for kissing in front of a teacher. I remember going back to the auditorium where we held the plays and thought about the times we hid in the catacombs to make out.  Boy was the teacher upset when we both walked out together.

We went to his junior prom together.  There was something called a Candy Stripers Ball that was our first date ever.  I don't think we came up for air on the ride home, the kisses were SO good.

I don't remember why I broke up with AZ but I really broke his heart.  He was still friends with my brother and they hung out some what.  Whenever I was around him, I was uncomfortable so eventually, I moved away into my own group of friends.

AZ graduated and moved away for college.  He also fell in love and got married.  I fell in love and got married.  I didn't see him again until I was 9 months pregnant and mom was dying.  AZ and his wife stopped by on Christmas Eve to see the parents and Brother.  I had butterflies in my belly that evening and it wasn't from the baby!  A month later, he was at Mom's funeral but I don't remember seeing him.  It would be another 9-10 years before we saw each other again.

We ran into each other in the local diner.  We hugged and it felt "right" to me.  He was moving to AZ.  Unfortunately, things didn't go well with him out there.  That is his story to tell.  When things went south for him, we reconnected and grew close again.

AZ has since moved back here with me.  We have come full circle and are taking things day-by-day to make it work.


This was written as part of Theme Thursday. 

Hope

Such a short word. Such a powerful word. Such a hard thing to believe in.

I consider myself an optimistic person, I try to see the good in any situation. Yes, I may wallow for a bit, but that's normal.  You have to take time to process things and see which way is up.

With all that I've been through in my 30's, I have very high hopes that my 40's and later will be a wonderful time in my life.  I've learned so much in my past, I don't want to say it was worth it, but how else will you learn?  By living with the good and living through the bad.

I will continue to live with hope.  Hope for a good life and hope for the strength to live through the bad.

Finding the Balance

This weeks theme over at Theme Thursday is Balance.  It got me to thinking about how I "balance" my friendships.  I have wonderful friends, lots of them!  But there are times when I wonder if there are some friends that I use when life is hard and others that are only for the good times.

My definition of friendship is being there through thick and thin, good times and bad.  I will admit that I have good friends and then I also have true friends.  The difference you ask....  (IMO) A good friend will be there for you to call for bail money.  A true friend will be there in the jail cell saying, "lets do that again!"  I can happily say that I think I would have trouble finding someone to call for the bail money cause everyone would be in the cell with me!

I know that dealing with Jakes and making the decision about where he would live was a very bad time for me and I love that my friends rallied around and supported me through all.  I know that I was a very Negative Nelly and couldn't have been much fun to listen to.

Now that Jakes is happier and life is looking better, I WILL remember to share my happy days as well as be there for my friends through their good and bad times. I want to find that balance between needy negative nelly and a true friend.

The Caretakers Cottage - Theme Thursday



Everytime I drive past this cottage, I wonder what its history is, wishing it could talk to me



It was a cottage that had seen better days. The roof was patched yet still open to the weather in places. The windows were missing, leaving open, empty eyes offering a view into the cottage. The inside of the cottage was dusty and dirty, bare of any evidence of human existence.

Jesse walked up to the door, which wasn’t latched, and pushed it open. The sun shone in, reflecting off the dust motes in the air. There was a wooden table with two chairs around it. Under the window was a bed, no blankets or a pillow, just the frame with a dirty mattress on top.

Jesse glanced to her left, where the kitchen would have been. There were cabinets, a sink and a big cook-in fireplace. In the box next to the fireplace was wood, stacked and ready to get a fire started. One cabinet door was hanging from its hinges and in the cabinet, Jesse could see a rusted can of something.

Jesse wandered over to the window to see what the view offered. She was looking over a field of headstones in the cemetery. Many of the stones were covered in flowers, some with flags that marked the veterans, lots were so old their names had been rubbed off over the years, and then there were the new ones, the ones that were memorials to the recently deceased.

As Jesse looked past the cemetery, she saw the highway flowing by. That certainly wasn’t there when the caretakers cottage was inhabited, Jesse thought. She could imagine the changes that had happened over the years to the caretakers cottage.

In her mind, Jesse saw the caretaker standing outside his new cottage, admiring the roof and the solid door. The inside of was clean and new, the windows covered with cheerful curtains and flowers in a vase on the table. Another scene she imagined was the caretaker and his wife planting a tree together in front of the cottage. Jesse imagined the caretaker and his wife comforting a devastated husband as he made arrangements for his wife to be interred for eternity.

The caretaker and his wife worked together to maintain the graveyard, trimming the grass around the headstones, removing old flowers, and fixing any headstones over the years. On All Hallows Eve, the caretaker would chase the mischievous neighborhood kids out before they could cause trouble.

Eventually, it was time for the caretaker’s wife to be interred in the cemetery. He was the devastated husband who needed comforting. He would start each day wishing her a good morning, as her grave was close to the cottage where they’d shared many happy years.

It was harder for the caretaker to take care of the cemetery and his cottage. It wasn’t long before he joined his beloved wife in the cemetery. They were able to keep an eye on their cottage together.

There was no new caretaker for the cottage, the care of the cemetery was contracted out to a lawn company. The cottage was left empty, just a memory of times past.

Jesse took one final glance around and headed out of the cottage.  She closed the door and viewed the outside once more.  There had to be so many memories in the walls of the caretakers cottage, memories that couldn't be shared anymore.

Change - A Theme Thursday Post

On the ride home from the airport this past December, I was noticing things that had changed in my little corner of the world.  That set me to wondering if I would have taken the time to notice them had I been around the entire time.

The first thing I noticed was how frail my Daddy looked when he got out of the truck.  He was so skinny and even bent over a little bit.  He didn't even try to help me put my suitcase in the trunk, which is unusual for this gentleman who still opens car doors for ESM. But on the other hand, I was happy that he wasn't trying to do anything that would stress his already over-stressed heart.  I'm very proud that he's finding his limits and is trying to stick to them.

On the ride home, the highway part didn't look to be changed too much.  There were new areas of construction and such.

When we got off the highway and into my hometown area, there were so many things that stood out to me.  There had been a fire that destroyed a building.  It stood empty, blackened, and haunted.

The farmers had been busy with harvesting the soy beans and corn crops.  Once the fields were clear, they harrowed and tilled them.  The fields had turned from dead and deserted to a rich brown waiting to start the growing process again.  You could smell the clean, tilled dirt.  That is a smell that I will always associate with spring.

The biggest change I noticed was in Jakes when I picked him up the following weekend.  I think he grew 5 inches!  He is looking so mature and tall.

We rode through town on the way home and there weren't many changes there.  People were starting to put up their Christmas decorations and such.  Even though there weren't many changes, my eyes had been opened to the possibility of more changes.  Time away from your home does open your eyes and mind to see home as a new place.  Its good to get away for vacation but its also very good to come home.

 

Gadgets

Its been a rough week for me.  Starting off the week without my son in the house was not pretty.  Then there was the site inspection at work, which we ACED, thanks to my excellent P&P manual!  Woo ho!

I had to go to headquarters yesterday to train someone for Accounts Payable.  And I had to make my first child support payment.  But that hurt only my bank account.

I have loved my cell phone.  Last year I upgraded to an iPhone and I LOVE it.  I don't go anywhere without it and I cry when the battery dies on it.  I know, I know, plug it in.....

I have a new appreciation the texting and the cell phone Gadgets.  My Jakes called and texted me yesterday!  Its the first I heard from him since he moved on Saturday and I was really missing him.  I have been bouncing off the walls and smiling since last night. I couldn't sleep because I was so happy!

Then this morning, I got another text from him telling me to have a good day and that he loved me!  Woo ho!  Love those Gadgets.

This was written with Theme Thursday in mind.  Head over there to check out the other Themers.......