Round Robin - Crazy Mind

I'm sure you've heard the game "Bringin' Home the Bacon"  Its a game where you name celebrities until you bring it back to Kevin Bacon.  At least that's how I think it works.

Well, something similar happened to me the other day.  Since its been SO cold, I dug out my red wool coat.  Its so warm!  

It amazes me how the mind works and here is how the Bringing Home the Bacon reference comes in...

Someone complimented my coat and how brightly colored it is.  Its a beautiful red!  So then my mind goes to other brightly colored clothing, like what my dad used to wear.  He always wore the fluorescent colors, especially orange.  He also had sweat jackets in every shade of the fluorescent family, green, yellow, orange and even PINK!

My mind took me to one day that I took Daddy for chemo and when he checked in with the nurses at his station, he made sure to show then the two different colored jackets he had on.  Throughout the day, a bunch of different nurses would come over to say "hi" and check out what colors he was wearing.

So while I was smiling, there were also tears as my mind took this round robin way far away from the compliment on my beautiful red warm coat.

The mind is an amazing thing, where it goes, no one knows.

Yet Another Beach Day

We took the family to the beach last week. It wasn't a beautiful of a day as when I went with ESM but it was a lovely day in different ways.

AZ and I packed up the kids (mine, his and plus one more), the chairs, lunch and sunscreen and headed to the Wildwood, NJ.  We chose that beach because there is a boardwalk with rides and yummy food.

JR and friend wanted to just walk the boards, checking out the chicks.  Jakes wanted to swim and body surf.  AZ wanted to take a nap and get some sun.

He got the nap but not much sun.

We got there late in the afternoon so there wasn't much time for sunbathing and there was quite the breeze blowing.  We lost the umbrella! I had to go running across the beach to save it.  YIKES!

Jakes and I spent some time in the water body surfing and splashing.  He had a ball which made me happy.

After a quick stop for some dinner we turned the boys on the boards again.  AZ and I wandered around remembering all our times there as teenagers.  We also went on one ride, the loop-d-loop roller coaster.  All the boys were afraid to get on it with us. It was AWESOME!!!!  We got the first car and it was a hanging coaster.  Nothing in front of you, nothing under you.  We LOVED it!

On the way back to meet the boys we stopped to play the water gun game. AZ WON!!

Its a Butterfly!  I LOVE IT!

We met up with the boys and on the way back to the car we caught a parade.... The MUMMERS!

The string band was strutting their stuff along the boardwalk

They are amazing!

With one final look at the boardwalk, we packed back into the car for a long drive home.

Wildwood Boardwalk

It was a lovely day that I hope can be repeated very soon!

All Good Things

This was inspired by Brian's story "Remnants".  Check out WayStationOne for your inspiration.

They gathered in the dining room, the funeral had been over for many weeks.  Jesse sat cradling her infant in her arms while everyone chatted to get caught up on news.  Jesse shared the story of Michael's birth, leaving the graveyard and how quickly Michael made his way into the world.

There was an aura of sadness at the table; it was obvious that Jesse's mom was missing and they were still working accepting the new dynamic.  Jesse's dad looked sad and proud at the same time, if that was possible.  He had lost his wife and soul mate but gained a grandson at the same time.  He too was struggling with the new way of things.

Michael finished his bottle and was sleeping.  The group decided to start in the sewing room upstairs.  Jesse's dad was going to stay downstairs and watch Michael sleep.  He said he wanted everything cleaned out as quickly as possible.  The memories just hurt too much.

They found so many things that showed Kathy's love of her husband and family.  There were measurements of the kids as they grew and notes about projects she wanted to tackle for them family.  Hidden away was a pattern that Jesse had said she wanted as her wedding dress.  Jesse was flabergasted to know how much her mother wanted to give her the dream dress, even though she was too sick to make it.

In the cubby hole was an entire box of baby clothes and a blanket that Michael still uses today.  Some were handmade clothes, some were obviously store bought.  Some had labels of who made them and those were packed away as heirlooms.  The dismantled sewing room looked forlorn and lonely when they were done. The table her grandfather had built was empty for the first time in Jesse's memory.  It hurt Jesse's heart to see it that way.  She knew how much peace and pride this room had given her mother.

They moved into the bedroom.  Judy suggested that Jesse look over her mom's jewlery box.  There were many treasures in there, not monetarily valuable, but valuable to Jesse and her family.  In there was jewlery from Jesse's mom's mother and father, a bite disc from Jesse's grandmother, a ring suitable for a child and many other things that Jesse had never seen.  Also in the box were the dog tags for Jesse's father when he was in the Navy.  They were lovingly encased in plastic to protect them.  Jesse's father may not have wanted a reminder of his time spent in the service, but Jesse's mom obviously wanted those memories.  It was after all, the beginning of their love story.

Also hidden away in a dresser drawer was a family history.  There were pictures and letters from relatives Jesse had only heard about briefly.  And a detailed account of how the family came to America.  What a treasure!

Its amazing that such a hard and trying day could bring such good things and wonderful memories.

First Love Comes Full Circle

In high school there were lots of couples who were "in love" and it was thought that they would stay together through college and end up together for happily ever after.  AZ and I were such a couple.  We were together in high school through most of my freshmen year and broke up in my junior year.

We were almost joined at the hip, always together, always in the same activities. The only times we weren't together is when one of us had to work or my parents said Nope, time for family.

I would sit in science class and watch the back room for a glimpse of him working for another teacher.  We both got in trouble for kissing in front of a teacher. I remember going back to the auditorium where we held the plays and thought about the times we hid in the catacombs to make out.  Boy was the teacher upset when we both walked out together.

We went to his junior prom together.  There was something called a Candy Stripers Ball that was our first date ever.  I don't think we came up for air on the ride home, the kisses were SO good.

I don't remember why I broke up with AZ but I really broke his heart.  He was still friends with my brother and they hung out some what.  Whenever I was around him, I was uncomfortable so eventually, I moved away into my own group of friends.

AZ graduated and moved away for college.  He also fell in love and got married.  I fell in love and got married.  I didn't see him again until I was 9 months pregnant and mom was dying.  AZ and his wife stopped by on Christmas Eve to see the parents and Brother.  I had butterflies in my belly that evening and it wasn't from the baby!  A month later, he was at Mom's funeral but I don't remember seeing him.  It would be another 9-10 years before we saw each other again.

We ran into each other in the local diner.  We hugged and it felt "right" to me.  He was moving to AZ.  Unfortunately, things didn't go well with him out there.  That is his story to tell.  When things went south for him, we reconnected and grew close again.

AZ has since moved back here with me.  We have come full circle and are taking things day-by-day to make it work.


This was written as part of Theme Thursday. 

Imaginings

This is a continuation of a story I wrote here.

Jesse was cleaning out her closet and at the back; she found an old notebook from high school. Wow, she thought, I can’t believe I still have this. It’s been about 20 years since high school.

She flipped it open to see what was in it and found where she’d been practicing her name as if she was married to Jon, her old boyfriend. Jesse’s mind drifted back to one day in Algebra class.

Mr. and Mrs. Jon Malone

Mrs. Jon Malone

Mrs. Jesse Trioli-Malone

Mrs. Jesse Malone

While doodling in her notebook, Jesse was imagining what it would be like to be married to Jon. They were so in love. Every high school girl with a steady boyfriend had pages in their notebooks like the one Jesse was doodling.

Jesse missed him when they weren’t together. She wished every day could be like this past Saturday.

They had gone over Brittany’s house to hang out with friends for the afternoon. Jesse and Jon curled up together on one couch, Brittany and Matt on the other, with their other friends hanging around as well. They just hung out together, listening to music and being silly. There was, of course, plenty of making-out, also.

Eventually, Brittany’s parents had come home and Jon had to go to work. He dropped Jesse off at home and they took a very long time saying good-bye. Jesse knew that Jon would call her when he finished work that night and they’d spend hours chatting about everything and anything.

Jesse closed the notebook and dug back into the closet. But she was still thinking about Jon and their times together. Jesse was amazed at how much she had dreamed about being with Jon for the rest of their lives; how sure she'd been that it would happen.

She had dreamed they would go to college together and spend all their time together on campus. When college was over, they’d move to the city, get a place together and live happily ever after. They'd come back for visits to their families, spending the holidays with them and go back to their place in the city where they were happiest. Life would be perfect.

But that was not to be. Jesse broke up with Jon in his senior year. It was devastating to both of them. So why did it happen? Because Jesse was immature and was being wooed by another guy. The new guy convinced her that Jon was wrong for her, that he was a better person and could have more to offer. And she fell for him, hard. She was infatuated with him and all that he was.

Jon graduated from high school and went to college. Jesse was a senior and thought she was in love with her new guy, Kyle. That relationship was not smooth sailing. There was fighting from the beginning. And manipulation, and lies on his part. Yet, he still managed to convince Jesse that she would never do any better than him.

Jesse stayed locally for college so she could be with Kyle. They eventually married and after many unhappy years, divorced.

Jesse, while battered and bruised mentally, was glad to be moving on and was looking forward to enjoying her life, free of the misery of Kyle. She actually was packing up the house where they'd tried to make a happy home and was moving into an apartment where she knew she would heal.

A few years pass, with Jesse getting her life on track but not finding that someone special with whom to spend her life. That's when she ran into Jon at a local restaurant. He saw her enter but she didn't see him. When Jon finished his meal, he came over to say hello. Jesse's heart beat picked up and her stomach felt like it had butterflies inside. The hug they shared was like home; Jesse felt like she fit in his arms.

They chatted for a few minutes then Jon had to leave. Jesse suggested they get together while he was in town. No definite plans, but when Jesse checked Facebook that night, there was a message from Jon asking for her phone number and suggesting a couple of days to get together. Of course, Jesse responded.

The next week finds Jon at Jesse's house with a glass of wine watching the sunset with Jesse. They spent the evening catching up on everything they had missed during their years apart. They compared divorce stories, kids, jobs, and future plans. Jon was living in another state with his girlfriend; he was in town for a couple more weeks to finalize his move.

They remembered the good and bad times of high school. Jon told Jesse how badly she broke his heart by breaking up with him. Jesse said she was really sorry. They moved on to being friends. While Jon was still in town, they would text and flirt. They even got together a couple more times for old times sake.

Jesse, even knowing that Jon had a girlfriend and was leaving, couldn't help but imagine how life could be if he were to stay with her. She imagined the two of them living happily together in her apartment, raising their kids together, and growing old together. She never let Jon know that she thought more of him than a friend. He was in love with his girlfriend and was moving across country to be with her. Jesse would not be responsible for breaking up a relationship due to her imagination.

Their time together ended, Jon moved away but they still kept in touch occasionally through text messaging and emails. One day, Jon called Jesse. Jesse was a little concerned when she saw who was on the caller ID but happy that he was calling. Jon was very upset because his girlfriend was critically ill and not expected to live. Jesse listened and tried to calm and comfort him. By the time they were done talking, Jon seemed calmer and a little more focused.

Every day after that, Jesse would either call or text Jon to see how he was doing. If too many days went by without hearing from him, she'd get worried. Time went by, Jon started living life again as best he could. Jesse and Jon were talking every day for hours, chatting about life, sharing memories of the past and flirting a little bit. All this time, Jesse was feeling the return of the feelings from high school. She tried to ignore them but at the same time, she couldn't help but imagine, again, how life could be with him. How happy they could be and that it was finally the time for them to be together as a couple. Part of her knew this was not to be, there were too many complications to overcome. The distance, Jesse's family and her ex, Jon's commitment to his girlfriend and so much more.

Jesse decided that she would just have to find a way to put her feelings aside, stop imagining a future that possibly was not to be, and start thinking of Jon as just a friend. She would have to stop the flirting and just be there for him as his friend. As hard as this was going to be, she would rather have him in her life as a friend than not at all.  Only time would tell if Jesse could do it.